LNH/LNH2/FWVI: Ultimate Mercenary #5

[Tom Russell]

> Author's notes:  Well, after two years, I finaly managed to write this
> issue.  And it kind of sucked, didn't it?

Not really.  I found it pretty enjoyable.  I especially liked the
alternate versions of Ult. Merc, the slam on Bendis, and--


> 	They walked off, the others observing them cautiously.  "So what is
> going on?" said Ultimate Mercenary.  "You--oh no."  He had realized as
> he approached the bathroom that, due to the fact that it hardly makes
> riveting drama, he hadn't taken a leak for all the time he'd been in
> the evil Producer's movie.  "I'll, ah, be gone for a moment.  Ninja
> business."
>
> 	"If you have to urinate, that's fine.  Just try not to be pulled into
> another dimension warp."

>>From now on, whenever I have to take a leak, I will tell my wife and/or
friends and/or coworkers that I have to attend to Ninja Business.

And it's all your fault.

> 	"Bu-ha-whaa?"  Ultimate Mercenary was totally at a loss for words.
> The idea of him actually having children made his mind boggle.  THe
> idea of him actually undergoing the activity that would lead to having
> children made his mind boggle even more.  "Uh-guh--Who was the mother?
> Did Manga Girl finally come to love me?"

Ultimate Mercenary doesn't know it, but the Manga Girl he knows died in
JOURNEY INTO IRRELEVANCY (along with Fuzzboy).  I must say that, at
first glance, this Manga Girl seems much less annoying and much better
concieved than her predecessor. :-)

--Tom