[LNH/Acra] Killfile Wars #4

cabbagewielder at yahoo.com cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Sun Jun 11 07:47:13 PDT 2006

Previously: Ultimate Ninja did battle with Deliah Killfile.   She
managed to complete part of her plan.  She released Doctor Killfile.
However, the whole part about killing him didn't go so well.  In fact
she got murdered by Killfile seconds after his escape  from dimensional


	Ultimate Ninja glared on like a man crazy glued to the third rail of a
subway track.   The spandex figured man in front of him was Doctor
Killfile.  A man who had nearly beaten the entire Legion in a day when
the active membership was much more powerful.

	"You!"  Ultimate Ninja shouted.
	"Yes... how droll.   It's not like you didn't have plenty of
warning," Killfile said.   "Or was I supposed to call first anyway.
  I'm not up to date on the latest super villain etiquette.   Being
thrown into dimensional limbo without trial will do that."

	That is what Ninja hated most about Killfile.   It wasn't the
psychosis.   It wasn't the fact that he was a mass murderer.  It was
the fact that he was so unrepentant.  Ninja reached for his katana.  He
forgot he left it behind to avoid making noise in the air vents.   He
grabbed one of the small blasters he stole from Master Blaster.

	"Just for future reference," Ninja said as he aimed his gun for a
shot between Killfile's Eyes.  "that innocent act doesn't even
fool Onion Lad."

	Ninja blasted Killfile.   Killfile laughed as he lapped the photons
like a cat to milk.

	"For future reference?   For future reference?" Killfile snarled.
 He shot an energy bolt back at the blaster.   Ninja dropped the gun as
it began to overheat.  "Let me tell you about the future.   It starts
with a knock on my daughter's front door...."

		Killfile Wars #4 of 6
		About The Future
		By Jesse N. Willey

	There was a knock on Carolyn's front door.   Sammy looked out the
window and took a peak.   He had a confused look on his face.   Carolyn
took a step toward the door.   There was another Carolyn at the door.
For a fraction of second, her mind filled with a scene from a Marx
Brothers film Rick made her watch when they were about twelve.

	"Electra!  What are you doing here?" Carolyn asked.
	"Is your offer still open?" she asked.
	"Yes... of course... but what are you playing at?" Carolyn asked.
	"What makes you think I..." Electra asked.
	"I know you."
	"Okay... look... Dalton left a while ago to do some investigating.
He said we'd meet a few places along the road," Electra said.
	"Ahem... there is a kid present," Carolyn said.
	"It's not like that.   Really," Electra said.  "He'd give me
progress reports.  I'd give him more tinfoil and peanut butter and
banana sandwhiches.   Only he missed the rendezvous..."
	"Stop it!  I think something might have happened to him," she
said.  "You know how he is.   No impulse control... and at times
incredibly naive."

	Carolyn cringed for a second.   Then she was surprised.    Electra's
face was flush white.   Someone else might be in trouble and she
actually appeared upset about it.

	"Fine...," she said.  "When Rick gets back we'll go."


	Ninja smashed a water cooler.   The cold water chilled the metals and
plastics in the blaster.   Killfile blasted the Ninja's feet.   The
ninja leapt out of the way before it hit.  He jumped for Killfile's
head with a kick but Killfile was no longer there.  Ninja leapt back
for the gun.    It was as he feared.   The nozzle of the gun was melted

	"Damnnit!" he shouted.

	A long forgotten voice filled his head.   The first lesson of being a
ninja: 'Anything can be a weapon' echoed in his head in the voice
of some long forgotten sensei.   He grabbed for the gun managed to open
the wiring.  Killfile blasted him.   Ninja ran out the door.  Killfile
followed slowly behind.

	"The future continues... with my daughter's new boyfriend's
little side dealings," Killfile said. "It's simply delicious."


	Rick entered the dingy bar.   Pictures of motorcycles and half naked
women lined the walls.   The three waitresses were wearing tops, but
just barely.    Rick took a seat in the almost pitch black corner.

	"Henkerton, I thought we decided we didn't know each other,"
came a man's voice from the shadow.   "Bet the misses wouldn't
like you hanging around with the likes of me.   Knowing my former
	"Yeah... Mystery and I broke up a few months ago," Rick said.
	"Does that mean she's single?" The man said.
	"Sorta," Rick said.  "Long story."
	"One of those.   I hate angsty chicks.    Part of why I got out of
the biz.   Course there was also y'know spending weeks... sometimes
months on a plan and then having some bum like.."
	"Like me? Is that what you were going to say, Larry?" Rick said.
"Because using your eidetic memory to steal passwords and identities
does not make you a super villain.   Even if was from Weinstein or
Conspiracy Corporation."
	"Hey!  You were never able to pin the Weinstein heist on me," he
	"Yeah... but a week later you were caught by a fourteen year old
girl and her pet monkey while you were holding up a laundry mat.
What's up with that?" Rick said.   "I mean really.  What did you
do with that one hundred and fifty grand?  Pay off your bookie?"
	"Right.   I've pulled some strings.   I convinced a judge that if
you're willing do one little job for me that she'd get rid of all
your community service," Rick said.  "So are you in?"
	"Whattya need?" Larry said.
	"You'll see..." Rick said.


	 Ultimate Ninja rewired the blaster and closed the panel shut.   He
hoped this worked.  He'd seen Vel do this trick once.  The results
weren't pretty and he had only one shot at it.   He jabbed the power
gauge down and threw the blaster.   The gun exploded.   Killfile
continued to laugh.

	"As you can see... the future is very bleak," Killfile said.

	Shrapnel from the blast became imbedded in Ultimate Ninja's elbow.
Reflected energy from the exploding blasted burnt and blistered his
skin.   Puss and blood began to ooze from various pours of his body.

	"I... refuse to.... believe that..." Ninja coughed.
	"You're beaten and you don't even realize it.   You're so worn
out you're Shatnerizing," Killfile said.   "You don't see the
darkness right in front of you."

	The Ninja fell to the ground.  Killfile offered him a hand up only to
crush Ultimate Ninja's fingers with his fist.   Ninja swore as his
bones crumbled and snapped.   He tried biting Killfile's arm but
received an energy blast to the face.

	Ninja did the only thing he could do.  He let Killfile have fingers.
He pulled back with such force that the first three fingers on his left
hand off spurting blood all over the room.   The Ninja knew he
couldn't keep this up.  The adrenaline and endorphins would only keep
up for so long.

	"By the time that pest Dalton finds my weakness... well it will be
too late to do you any good.   That's for certain," Killfile


	Dalton was doing fine.   The Bowlarama was emptying out for the night.
  He finished his root beer float and headed out into the parking lot.
 His briefcase was locked and hadn't left his sight all night.   He
knew he'd need it.

	The red haired woman and a man in a green spandex suit were waiting
for him under a streetlamp.  He fidgeted with the lock to the suitcase
and opened it.   He quickly pulled out some documents.

	"What's this about?" Angelica said.
	"Like you don't know.  Your company's long term human
experimentation with dangerous nanotechnology capable of altering human
biology.   Neurological motor control mechanisms.  Sensory stimulation
control.  Pavlovian reinforcement.    Super assassin projects,"
Dalton said.
	"So you said in your emails, Mister... Asters was it," Angelica
	"I know your type.   Bubbly optimist on the outside... on the inside
a cold hearted corporate vampire," Dalton said.  "Blah... blah...
blah... lies lies lies."
	"Hey Scarecrow... does Michael Moore know he's missing a third his
body weight," said Joshua.   "We know some people who travel in the
same circles.  They say you're crazy."
	"Look, Mister Asters... we want to help you.  You have to tell us
where you got that sample," Angelica said.   "I'm sure we could
come up with some answers."
	"Fine, but I'm watching you," he said.  "I'm not taking any
chance that you're just like your brothers."


	Ninja finally had it.  He fell to the ground.   He hated to admit it.
Killfile had beaten him.    He let out a moan and didn't even

	"Oh... we can't let you go out this way.  It'd be a disgrace.
What would Gamer Lad say?" Doctor Killfile said.

           	Ninja coughed up blood.

	"So what happens now?" Ninja struggled to say..
	"Now... you die," Killfile said.
	"M-make it quick."
	"I will... old friend," Killfile said.

	A quick flicker of light erupted from Killfile's hand.   The
microscopic laser past from Killfile to the Ninja's medulla
oblongata.  Then the ninja fell to the ground.    Killfile smiled and
reached into the Ninja's pocket and removed his communication card.
He turned for the door.  He then reached in his own pocket and flung a
coin onto the ninja's body.

	"I'm really sorry you blundering fools became involved in this
bloody mess.   I was hoping to keep this in the family," Killfile

		To be Continued....

	Next: In the Family

Ultimate Ninja created by wReam.  Doctor Killfile is public domain.
Carolyn Forge, Samuel Forge and Electra created by Tom Russell Jnr.
Dalton Asters, Angelica Weinstein, Josh Chesterfield, Rick Henkerton,
and Larry created by Jesse N. Willey.   Document copyright Jesse N.

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