usVerse: The Unfinished Sentence-Verse # 8
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Mon Jun 5 17:03:59 PDT 2006
The Unfinished Sentence-Verse # 8
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Man known as Ranch Rancherson sat in a
rocking chair and rocked while he dipped his Ranch Style Potatoe (spelled
with an E as a tribute to Dan Quayle and so Tom Russell will do one of his
oh so amusing spelling critiques) Chips in a Bucket of Ranch Style Dressing.
His dog, Rancho, sat by his side licking drops of spilled Ranch Style
Dressing that fell on the wooden porch.
"You can't keep doing that, Ranch!" his wife, Ranchitta, screamed while
flailing her arms about. "Humans weren't meant to consume that much Ranch
Style Dressing! It's inhuman! Why can't you stop! Why must you eat so
much Ranch Dressing! Why are you doing this?! Don't you care about your
health? Why, Ranch?! Why?! You're going to kill yourself, Ranch! Please!
Stop!" Ranchitta looked to the heavens. "Please, God, stop him from doing
this! Stop this horrible Ranch Dressing Suicide Binge! Please!" Tears
started streaming from her eyes.
"Ah, quit being such a nag!" Ranch Rancherson said as he popped another
Ranch Style Potatoe Chip Covered in Ranch Style Dressing into his mouth.
But, as it turned out, that was one Ranch Style Potatoe Chip Covered in
Ranch Style Dressing too many. His heart filled to the brim with Ranch
Dressing exploded. Ranch Rancherson fell from his rocking chair; his body
hit his wooden porch. Ranch Dressing started to stream from his mouth,
nostrils, ears, eyeballs, and other bodily orifices. Rancho quickly rushed
to his Master's body and started to lick the ranch dressing leaking out of
Ranch Rancherson's eyes.
And somewhere, a Robot wearing a cowboy hat watched all of this. And it
smiled a cold mechanical smile.
Meanwhile, back at the teddy bear picnic, the...
Arthur "Ranchless" Spitzer
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