[LNH/ACRA/APES] Master Blaster: Frickin' Lame, an Apes Month One-Shot

martinphipps2 at yahoo.com martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Tue Jan 17 23:21:21 PST 2006

Tom Russell wrote:

>    "Uh..." The interviewer shuffled his stack of
> questions nervously.  "What about poverty?  The
> economy was cited as a key concern in..."
>    "Two words: Legalized.  Hookers."
>    "Um..."
>    "I say we legalize hookers, and everyone who
> doesn't have a job, they're automatically a hooker."
>    "Automatically...?"
>    "Automatically a hooker.  And see, then there's no
> unemployment.  There's always a demand for cheap,
> anonymous, degrading sexual encounters.  And that
> shuts down all this welfare nonsense, all this social
> safety net.  No unemployment, no disability programs.
> No social security for retirees-- some things just get
> better with age, you know?  Anyone can do this work,
> regardless of physical disability.  Anyone who can
> open their mouth can be a hooker.  Even retards."

He's got my vote.

>    "Where all desperate lonely guys go to find a
> wife," said Master Blaster.

Excuse me?

>    "This country's frickin' lame," said Master
> Blaster.

Actually, I happen to like living here.  Anybody would.
It's not like you have to worry about winter here.  Plus,
if you're interested, my wife's youngest sister is still single. ;)


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