[REPOST/LNH] Saviors of the Net # 2 Pi: "6.2831852 + Alt Lord" Equals Big Trouble for the LNH
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Tue Apr 18 20:44:14 PDT 2006
T H E
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O F T H E
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Author: TIFFER003
Email: tiffer003 at aol.com
Date: 1998/11/06
Forums: rec.arts.comics.creative
__
___ ____ |/ \
| | S A V I O R S # ___| \__/ |
|__| F THE NET |___ | 44 |
|---- |
\ 7 \
SAVIORS OF THE NET # 2 PI
"6.2831852 + Alt Lord"
Equals Big Trouble for the LNH
Somewhere else . . . Alt Lord is coming!
Unrelentingly . . . Alt Lord is coming!
Unstoppably . . . Alt Lord is coming!
The Three Little Sisters, also known as the Annoying Three Little
Sisters, paced about their office.
"What are we going to do?" asked one sister.
"The LNH withhelded their law suit," lamented another.
"We're ruined . . . completely ruined!" said the third.
"We've gotta think," said the first.
"We've got to get the LNH back," confirmed the second.
"But how?" asked the first.
"We can hit them where it counts, maybe," said the third.
"Yes," said the first. "I can see it now."
"But how do we discredi-discredite-make the LNH look bad?" said the
second.
"We make the Savers of the Net look good!" said the first.
"That's it!" said the other two all at once.
"And how do we make Savers look good?" asked the first.
"They save something!" said the second giddily.
"That's billant!" said the third. "Take down the signs!"
"Sister," began the first.
"Sister," said the second.
"And Sister," said the third.
"ATTORNEYS AT LAW!" they all said at the same time.
"Is finished," said the first. "Make way for Sister . . ."
"Sister," said the second.
"And Sister," said the third.
"PROFFESSIONAL VICTIMS!"
"But who are we going to be saved from?"
"Don't worry," said the first, "just go fetch one of our old books
from when we used to be Sister, Sister, and Sister-OCCULTISTS AT LARGE!"
My name is Joan, but some people know me as Arc. I'm on the run
from the Saviors of the Net, or at least I should be. Truth is, none of
them have actually come after me yet, and I suppose that's a good thing. I
may have lost my powers as Arc- ability that Vivian called lycanmorph or
something like that-so I would have no way to defend myself if they did
come, save the mystical blade that the gorilla provided me with-the Infinite
Sword. If any one should be after me, it would be Gothic Gorilla.
I rested last night before heading back towards LNHQ. I'm only a
few blocks away from it. Then I see it, rampant in the streets.
Pandemonium.
Pure, unbridled, pandemonium, as the LNH try to conquer it. I see
the Ultimate Ninja at the forefront-that was the one that both the savior
and Alt Lord feared the most. I have to get the message to him.
Something hits my head as I fall to the ground, limp. Never saw
what it was .
. .
Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man sludged his way across the streets
of Net.ropolis as he neared LNHQ. He had a mission: destroy the LNH. Why?
He didn't know. His head was in a jumble, a mess. He didn't even realize
who he was.
He only knew one word:
LNH.
And he knew that he hated it.
Had he known that he WAS Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man, and that
he WAS a member of the new team of Net.heroes called the Saviors of the Net,
and had he known that the LNH WAS one of the few things standing in their
way from accomplishing their ultimate goal, he would have understood that.
Had he known that, he would have realized that the reason why he
hadn't known that was because of one of his teammates, known as Retcon
Raccoon, had actually retconned in the fact that whenever Very Disturbed
Scary Creature Man sludged thru any city's streets, he lost his memory. But
he didn't know any of this.
So he kept going, looking for the LNH. Sludging thru the city
streets.
He saw various costumed figures in a momentous battle with crazed
citizens. It never actually dawned on him that this was most of the LNH.
But he didn't know what they looked like. So he turned around, confused,
until he saw two figures.
He listened intently on their conversation, understanding some, but
not most of it.
"Here we are, Authorial."
"LNHQ!"
"That's right. And I'm sure after Uncle Andy and his friends are
done saving the city, they make us the latest members."
"They'll make me one of the latest members, Lad," said Authorial.
"Quiet, you," said Lad. "I have a much better chance than you do.
I -WILL-become a member of the LNH!"
"El-En-Ach?" said Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man. "L-N-H?"
"Huh?" Lad said as he turned around.
"LNH," mumbled the confused Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man.
"Dee-ss-troy LNH!"
The thing that looked like Self- Righteous Preacher thrust his long
bow staff into the general direction of the Ultimate Savior. US brought his
hands down on it, holding tight, before he did a back flip, flipping the
Preacher's body over his shoulder. The Preacher's body landed on its feet
before the spirit inside it, angry once more, brought the staff down again
for another try.
Retcon Raccoon did not like the way things were going. With a
gesture, he decided to start anew.
__
___ ____ | / \
| | S A V I O R S # ___ | \__/ |
|__ | F THE NET |____ | 44 |
| ---- |
\ 7 \
SAVIORS OF THE NET # 2 PI
"6.285714285714 + Hugs"
Equals Big Trouble for the LNH
Somewhere else . . . Alt Lord is coming!
Unrelentingly . . . Alt Lord is coming!
Unstoppably . . . Alt Lord is coming!
The Three Little Sisters, also known as the Annoying Three Little
Sisters, paced about their office.
"What are we going to do?" asked one sister.
"The LNH withhelded their law suit," lamented another.
"We're ruined . . . completely ruined!" said the third.
"We've gotta think," said the first.
"We've got to get the LNH back as a client," confirmed the second.
"But how?" asked the first.
"We can be nice to them," said the third.
"Yes," said the first. "I can see it now."
"But how do we disple-disply-- make the LNH love us?" said the
second.
"We make the Savers of the Net look bad!" said the first.
"That's it!" said the other two all at once.
"And how do we make Savers look bad?" asked the first.
"Paint them as horrifying urchin who have destroyed the very fiber
of our beings by staging a bank robbery and explaining that they forced us
to a life of crime!" said the second giddily.
"That's billant!" said the third. "Take down the signs!"
"Sister," began the first.
"Sister," said the second.
"And Sister," said the third.
"ATTORNEYS AT LAW!" they all said at the same time.
"Is finished," said the first. "Make way for Sister . . ."
"Sister," said the second.
"And Sister," said the third.
"PROFFESSIONAL BANK ROBBERS!"
"But who are we going to rob? Which bank?"
"Don't worry," said the first, "just go fetch one of our old books
from when we used to be Sister, Sister, and Sister-ACCOUNTANTS!"
"I love you guys," said the second.
"We love you too!" said the other two.
And they all hugged.
My name is Joan, but some people know me as Arc. I'm on the run
from the Saviors of the Net, or at least I should be. Truth is, none of
them have actually come after me yet, and I suppose that's a good thing. I
may have lost my powers as Arc- ability that Vivian called lycanmorph or
something like that-so I would have no way to defend myself if they did
come, save the mystical blade that the gorilla provided me with-the Infinite
Sword. If any one should be after me, it would be Gothic Gorilla.
I rested last night before heading back towards LNHQ. I'm only a
few blocks away from it. Then I see it, rampant in the streets.
Pandemonium.
Pure, unbridled, pandemonium, as the LNH try to conquer it. I see
the Ultimate Ninja at the forefront-which was the one that both the savior
and Alt.Lord feared the most. I have to get the message to him.
Something hits my head as I fall to the ground, limp. Never saw
what it was .
. .
Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man sludged his way across the streets
of Net.ropolis as he neared LNHQ. He had a mission: destroy the LNH. Why?
He didn't know. His head was in a jumble, a mess. He didn't even realize
who he was.
He only knew one word:
LNH.
And he knew that he loved it.
Had he known that he WAS Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man, and that
he WAS a member of the new team of Net.heroes called the Saviors of the Net,
and had he known that the LNH WAS one of the few things standing in their
way from accomplishing their ultimate goal, he would have disagreed with
that.
Had he known that, he would have realized that the reason why he
hadn't known that was because of one of his teammates, known as Retcon
Raccoon, had actually retconned in the fact that whenever Very Disturbed
Scary Creature Man sludged thru any city's streets, he lost his memory. But
he didn't know any of this.
So he kept going, looking for the LNH. Sludging thru the city
streets.
He saw various costumed figures in a momentous group hug with crazed
citizens. It never actually dawned on him that this was most of the LNH.
But he didn't know what they looked like. So he turned around, confused,
until he saw two figures.
He listened intently on their conversation, understanding some, but
not most of it.
"Here we are, Authorial."
"LNHQ!"
"That's right. And I'm sure after Uncle Andy and his friends are
done loving the city, they make us the latest members, and we can help
shower love and happiness wherever it in necessary."
"They'll make me one of the latest members, Lad," said Authorial.
"Yes, you," said Lad. "You have a much better chance than I do. I
-AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO- become a member of the LNH!"
"El-En-Ach?" said Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man. "L-N-H?"
"Huh?" Lad said as he turned around.
"LNH," mumbled the confused Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man.
"L-love LNH!" He then proceeded to hug them.
The thing that looked like Self- Righteous Preacher thrust his arms
around the Ultimate Savior. US brought his hands around SRP, holding tight.
"I love you, man!"
Retcon Raccoon did not like the way things were going. With a gesture, he
decided to start anew.
__
___ ____ | / \
| | S A V I O R S # ___ | \__/ |
|__ | F THE NET |____ | 44 |
| ---- |
\ 7 \
SAVIORS OF THE NET # 2 PI
"6.285714285714 + Pants"
Equals Big Trouble for the LNH
Somewhere else . . . Pants Lord is coming!
Unrelentingly . . . Pants Lord is coming!
Unstoppably . . . Pants Lord is coming!
The Three Little Sisters, also known as the Annoying Three Little
Sisters, paced about their office.
"What are we going to do?" asked one sister.
"The LNH withhelded their pants suit," lamented another.
"We're ruined . . . completely ruined!" said the third.
"We've gotta think," said the first.
"We've got to get the LNH pants," confirmed the second.
"But how?" asked the first.
"We can hit them in the pants, maybe," said the third.
"Yes," said the first. "I can see it now."
"But how do we discredi-discredite-make the pants look bad?" said
the second.
"We make the Savers of the Pants look good!" said the first.
"That's it!" said the other pants all at once.
"And how do we make Savers look good?" asked the first.
"They save pants!" said the second giddily.
"That's billant!" said the third. "Take down the pants!"
"Sister," began the first.
"Sister," said the second.
"And Pants," said the third.
"ATTORNEYS AT LAW!" they all said at the same time.
"Is finished," said the first. "Make pants for Sister . . ."
"Sister," said the second.
"And Pants," said the third.
"PROFFESSIONAL PANTS!"
"But who are we going to be saved from?"
"Don't worry," said the first, "just go fetch one of our old pants
from when we used to be Sister, Sister, and Sister-PANTS AT LARGE!"
My name is Joan, but some people know me as Arc. I'm on the run
from the Saviors of the Net, or at least I should be. Truth is, none of
them have actually come after me yet, and I suppose that's a good thing. I
may have lost my powers as Arc- ability that Vivian called lycanmorph or
something like that-so I would have no way to defend myself if they did
come, save the mystical blade that the gorilla provided me with-the Infinite
Sword. If any one should be after me, it would be Gothic Gorilla.
I rested last night before heading back towards LNHQ. I'm only a
few blocks away from it. Then I see it, rampant in the streets.
Pandemonium.
Pure, unbridled, pandemonium, as the LNH tries to conquer it. I see
the Ultimate Ninja at the forefront-which was the one that both the savior
and Alt.Lord feared the most. I have to get the message to him.
Something hits my head as I fall to the ground, limp. Never saw
what it was .
. .
Very Disturbed Scary Pants Man sludged his way across the streets of
Net.ropolis as he neared LNHQ. He had a mission: destroy the pants. Why?
He didn't know. His head was in a jumble, a mess. He didn't even realize
who he was.
He only knew one word:
Pants.
And he knew that he hated it.
Had he known that he WAS Very Disturbed Scary Pants Man, and that he
WAS a member of the new team of Net.heroes called the Saviors of the Pants,
and had he known that the Pants WAS one of the few things standing in their
way from accomplishing their ultimate goal, he would have understood that.
Had he known that, he would have realized that the reason why he
hadn't known that was because of one of his teammates, known as Retcon
Raccoon, had actually retconned in the fact that whenever Very Disturbed
Scary Pants Man sludged thru any city's pants, he lost his memory. But he
didn't know any of this.
So he kept going, looking for the pants. Sludging thru the city
streets.
He saw various costumed figures in a momentous battle with crazed
pants. It never actually dawned on him that this was most of the LNH. But
he didn't know what pants looked like. So he turned around, confused, until
he saw two pants.
He listened intently on their conversation, understanding some, but
not most of it.
"Here we are, Pants."
"LNHQ!"
"That's right. And I'm sure after Uncle Andy and his friends are
done saving the city, they make us the latest members."
"They'll make me one of the latest members, Pants," said Pants.
"Quiet, you," said Pants. "I have much better pants than you do. I
-WILL-become a member of the PANTS!"
"El-En-Pants?" said Very Disturbed Scary Pants Man. "L-N-H?"
"Huh?" Pants said as he turned around.
"Pants," mumbled the confused Very Disturbed Scary Pants Man.
"Dee-ss-troy Pants!"
The thing that looked like Self- Righteous Preacher thrust his long
bow staff into the general direction of the pants. US brought his hands
down on pants, holding tight, before he did a back flip, flipping the
Preacher's pants over his shoulder. The Preacher's pants landed on its feet
before the spirit inside his pants, angry once more, brought the staff down
again for another try.
Retcon Raccoon did not like the way things were going. He would start a
new, before he noticed a disturbance in his retconning field. He would have
to turn his attentions elsewhere. He turned things back to the way they
were originally, annoyed that Joan was not harmed by his awesome power. He
would retcon elsewhere, until Dr. Net.ropolis had served her purpose to give
him the ultimate retcon power.
Dr. Net.ropolis knew it wouldn't be long. Soon, the Saviors would serve her
purpose and make the perfect author . . .
Unbelievably . . . Alt. Lord is here!
__*__
All characters TM their respective authors. Saviors of the Net continues in
issue 7, then Self- Righteous Preacher Special: Crossfire Deluxe ties- in
and ties- up the Preacher/ Vice/ Ole Scratch subplot. The Alt. Lord lines
were parodies of Doomsday's original first appearance in Man of Steel # 18.
Tom Russell Jnr.
http://members.aol.com/TIFFER003/kill.marvel.spidey.html
"Let us never mention Batman again."
"What did I tell you about mentioning Batman? SLAP SLAP SLAP"
--Me, talking to Kieran O' Callaghan
=========
NEXT TIME: Saviors of the Net #7: 'A Fight Scene! A Fight Scene!'
by Saxon Brenton
=========
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