[LNH/ACRA] Road To Killfile Wars #1

cabbagewielder at yahoo.com cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Tue Sep 6 14:01:48 PDT 2005

Erin Joy got out of bed.   The ghostly echoes of physical touch
lingered from her dreams.    As she emerged from the fog of sleep it
slowly faded.   She cursed her mind.  Just because she didn't have a
sense of touch now, didn't mean she didn't remember.

	"What time is it?" she grumbled.

	The bright red number 8:45 AM was blasting her in the face.   She got
up and walked over to her chest of drawers.  She grabbed some clothes
and headed to the shower.   It was 9:15 AM by the time she showered and
got ready.

	"Damn it, I hope I'm not late.  Not today," she said.

	She ran out of her apartment and into the parking lot.  She got into
her 2002 Kia.  She got out onto the road and turned on the radio.

	"Hello Electra," said a male voice.
	"What?  What the hell is this...?" she said.
	"Just an invite to a family reunion.   We're gonna raise hell and
free daddy.  Then we're going to kill him.  Wanna join?"  he said.
	"What?"  she said.  "I don't do that shit anymore."
	"I was afraid you'd say that," the man said.  "Well then...
time for a game of dodgeball."

	She pulled into a line of traffic on a overpass.  All the lanes were
filled with cars. Damn freeway.   Erin stared out at the rear view
mirror.   A large glowing ball began charging toward the rear bumper.

	"Oh shit.  Now I'm definitely going to be late," she said.

	The Road To Killfile Wars 1 of 12
	Following the Bouncing Ball
	By Jesse N. Willey
	Plot by Jesse N. Willey and Tom Russell Jnr.

	Carolyn finished chopping the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and
neatly wrapped it up in cellophane wrap.   Then she put it in a 'Kid
Saturn' lunchbox.  She smiled as she took a juice box from the

	Terrence walked into the kitchen slowly.

	"Hey," he said.

	She said nothing.

	"What?  Carolyn, why are you doing this?" he said.

	She still said nothing.

	"Look, you said you were alright with this three months ago," he
	"That was three months ago," she said.

	She stared at the lunchbox.   It reminded her of so many afternoons
spent watching cartoons and playing video games.  Of promises made in a
clubhouse during a thunder storm.

	"You... we... we're going to hurt him," she said.
	"So?" he said.
	"So?  He's our friend for Christ's sake?  Doesn't that
matter?" she said.
	"And this is only bothering you now because?" he shouted.

	There was a soft tip toe from the other room.

	"Mommy, is something wrong?" Sammy whispered.
	"No... Mommy and Daddy are just talking... loudly," she said.
"I'm sorry."

	She stuffed the last few items into the lunchbox.  Placed the lunchbox
and put it on a chair.  Sammy sat next to the bag and poured himself a
huge bowl of Chocolate Lucky Charms.

	"Aw... there is no prize in this box," Sammy whined.  "It's
just useless cereal."

	Seven forty five blinked on the clock of the coffee machine.  There
was a loud horn.  Sammy wolfed down his food and ran out to catch the
school bus.   Carolyn turned back to Terrence.

	"It matters because... there was a time when I was sure you loved
me.  Hell, you literally beat death for me.  Now..." Carolyn said.
	"Come on, dear, don't say that..." he said.  "Look, Amelia
taught me a few new tricks the other night.  We can leave Sammy with
that babysitter Angelica found for us... what's her name... Ellie...
then we could... you know.."
	"Go to hell," she said.
	"Geez... I was kidding," he said.


	Rick walked into The Justice Café.  He hadn't been there in almost
two years.  Not since that party when Sig.ago was rebuilt.  It looked
exactly like it had in his youth.   The posters and memorabilia from
various heroes and villains on the wall.   If he hadn't witnessed the
explosion himself, he wouldn't have been able to tell they were all
reconstructed by nanites.  In a way, he supposed, that made him and the
city kin.

	Off in the corner, he spotted his reason for coming.  She was drinking
her Ultimate Latte.   He took the seat across from her.

	"Carolyn, I'd say it was good to see you but..." he said.
	"I know.  Ever since you found out Amelia cheated on you, you
haven't wanted to come out of the house," she said.
	"On the contrary.  I've been out plenty.   The sudden decrease in
car accidents.  That near miss airline collision.  All those recovered
pets...  those were all me," Rick said.
	"Look, I don't know how to tell you this but..." Carolyn said.
	"She was sleeping with you?  Cause I didn't know you.." Rick
	"Not me.  Terrence.  The three of us... we're immortal.  Once we
realized we could recover from any disease...," she said.
	"... you realized forever is a long time to be with one person.
And I wasn't exactly being all that attentive to her.  I had other
things to deal with," Rick said.  "No biggie."

	She sighed.

	"You find out that for the past three months your girlfriend has
been sleeping with your best friend's husband and it's no
biggie?" she said.  "Look if there is anything I can do..."
	"When was the last time he finished one of your sentences?" Rick
	"What has that got to do with anything?" Carolyn asked.
	"Answer the question," he respond.
	"Since... well... shortly after the disaster really," she said.

	Rick nodded as he slipped some quarters into the mini jukebox.

	"What?" she asked.
	"Dance with me."


	The LNH's small war room was packed.  Twelve members, including all
three Ultimate Ninjas, Deja Dude, Master Blaster, Onion Lad, Seductress
and Vel all took various seats.  (See Onion Lad #3 for cause of the
three Ultimate Ninjas)

	"Let's review, shall we," The handless Ultimate Ninja said.
"Our reports indicate that both Screw You Over Lad and Doctor
I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter have escaped.   Both were
mysteriously teleported out of their detention facilities by an unknown
	"So?" Seductress asked.
	"So.. Lady Killfile has also escaped by the same means," The Ninja
said.  "One time is an isolated incident.  Two times... that's a
coincidence.  Three times is a conspiracy."

	The other two Ninjas gruffed.

	"But what's the connection?" Onion Lad asked.
	"Didn't Doctor Stomper's information on Screw You Over Lad
indicate that Doctor Killfile was somehow involved in his creation?"
Deja Dude said.
	"Killfile!  Good, I've been wanting a second crack at him,"
Master Blaster replied.
	"There has to be a deeper connection.  Both Lady Killfile and
Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter seem to have had dealings with
Weinstein Technologies.  I'll look into it," Vel said. (In Team
#47-#48 and Onion Lad #4 respectively.)
	"And I'll ask Teriyaki Chick for more information on Doctor
I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter," Onion Lad said.  "She'd do
anything to get a full time membership."
	"Hell, I've seen her fight.  I'd sponsor her right now... if I
weren't a hired consultant," Vel said.
	"Duly noted," Ninja said.  "Briefing dismissed."

	Deja Dude scoffed.

	"What's the difference between a member and a consultant?" Deja
Dude asked.
	"I get a twenty five grand a year higher stipend and free satellite
TV.... Including Dorfan stations," Vel remarked.
	"Oh," Deja Dude remarked. "How'd you manage that?"
	"You'd be surprised what you can wrangle out of Ninj when once you
find out about..." he said and then whispered softly to that barely
anyone could hear.
	"Really?" Deja Dude said.  "No way!  I've always suspected...
but you found evidence?"


	Electra leapt out of the car just as the ball hit.   The Car went up
in flames.   She quickly rolled off the roof the car next to her and
instructed him to get out.    The side window shattered and glass
splattered across the driver's face.

	"What the hell?" he shouted.

	She reached down and tapped her old Teenfactor communication card out
of habit.  She didn't even know why she even still had it.  It was
far from the best time of her life.   Of course, she knew the answer.
She kept it because it was the only piece of her past she had left.

	"Fire and rescue are on their way.  Maybe even a Super Human
Catastrophe Containment Crew," she told the man.

	It had been less than a minute and she was already picking up the bad
habits that being shanghaied into being a 'super hero' had forced
on her.

	"I've tried this before.  I wanted it... but I just couldn't do
it," she muttered.

	She looked up at the ball and blasted it with an electric bolt.    The
ball changed color to a light blue for a fraction of a second.   In the
arc of the bolt she saw her reflection.  She was in the woods somewhere
and a man was lying on the ground.

	"What's the matter Sis?  You know the hero route has never worked
out for you.  Go ahead and face facts," the ball said.
	"Who are you?" she said.
	"Come with me and you can find out.  We can help you.   We can help
you figure out what gift your future self gave you is.   We can solve
all your problems," he said.
	"You rank amateur.  You think people haven't offered me this sort
of deal before?   They were all full of shit and so are you," she
yelled.  "All of them were out to screw me over..."
	"Ah, so you've heard of me," the ball said.
	"Scratch that... I screwed myself over," she said.  "But not
	"I am so sorry.  Last time I was instructed to give you a warning
shot," the floating ball said.

	The bridge exploded and Electra leapt thirty feet below.


	  Angelica Weinstein sat at a large table in the board room.  Several
lapdogs from Sector 7G sat around the table presenting a mosaic of
powerpoints.  Even her enhanced brain was getting bored after hour upon
hour of these reports.   There was days when she regretted taking this

	"... and as you can see, thanks to certain changes in world trade
law we can buy out Varnoff Enterprises in its entirety... assuming we
can get the sole shareholder... one Richard Henkerton... to sign off on
it," said some drone.
	"That could be a problem.  Rick is a friend but he's been taking
his lab work seriously lately.   Besides the best way to succeed in
business is to be creative.  Let's venture into a field we haven't
explored yet," she said.  "Something like..."

	A young man with brown hair walked in.  He was wearing a white button
up shirt and black pants.   He coughed and Angelica turned.

	"Be there in a minute Josh," she said.
	"You have a Mister Valentine on line five," he said.
	"Tell him I'll get to it after the meeting," she said.
	"You don't understand," he said.  "Mister Vel-in-tine is
making a very important transaction.   He can't be kept waiting."

	Angelica frowned for a moment.

	"Ah... I'll take his call in my office," Angelica replied.
"Excuse me gentlemen.  An old family friend.  I'm sure you

    	She walked into the other room, pulled down the blinds and turned
on the communication screen.   A six foot and a half foot tall man of
dorfan ancestory was staring back at her.

	"Where have you been?  I've been trying to reach you for an hour
and a half," Vel said.
	"What do you want Vel?" she said.  "I'm afraid my brief days
as a super hero are far behind me.  So don't even ask."
	"I just need information," Vel said.
	"Oh?  What kind of information?" she asked.
	"Anything on Doctor Killfile that wasn't in your official report
to Congress," he said.   "And I do mean anything."


	Carolyn got out of bed.   A gentle hand grasped her and pulled her
back down.  She gave Rick a passionate kiss and turned over.  He began
slowly kissing her neck when she stared back at the clock.

	"Ah... ah... ah..." she moaned.  "Wait a minute.  What time is

  	One forty five glared her in the face.

	"Crap, I have to pick Sammy up from school," she said.
	"Called Mary an hour ago, she'll babysit," Rick said.
	"Oh... thank you... thank you...." She continued. "But I should
be going.  See ya soon."

            Rick sighed.  Carolyn got her clothes back on and headed
out the back door.

	"Maybe I'll get more time on top next time," he muttered to


	Electra woke in someplace cold.  There were beeping lights.   It
smelled like a laboratory.  She'd know, she'd been in enough of
them.   There were numerous men and women all round her.   There were
fresh needle marks on her arms.

	"Where... where am I?" she said.
	"Welcome to Regal 13 headquarters.   Welcome to the beginning of
your future," one of the doctor's said.

		To Be Continued...

Carolyn Forge-Coffee, Electra, Terrence and Sammy Coffee created by Tom
Russell Jnr.   Rick Henkerton, Vel, Angelica Weinstein, Joshua
Chesterfield, Screw You Over Lad, Ellie McDonaldson and The Regal 13
were created by Jesse N. Willey.   Ultimate Ninja created by wReam.
Deja Dude, Master Blaster and Seductress created by Martin Phipps.
Onion Lad created by Tom Russell Jnr. and Dane Martin.  This document
is copyright Jesse N. Willey

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