[LNH/Acra] Road to Killfile Wars #8
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Sun Oct 30 15:13:35 PST 2005
Amelia awoke to the smell of smoke. The room was aflame. Three
glowing globes hovered over her. They were lifting her off the ground
with their electrical force.
"Primary target secure," said Lazlo.
"Preparing transport," responded Doctor
Amelia glared directly into the silent globe.
"What do you want?" she said.
"We're taking you to see your baby boy. With any luck, he's
almost as destructive as Hiroshima's," she said.
The globes and Amelia vanished.
The Road to Killfile Wars #8 of 12
By Jesse N. Willey
Almost the entire LNH and most of the active reserves were gathered in
the large multifloor meeting hall. People could look down at small
pulpit where two of the Ultimate Ninjas stood. A middle aged dorf sat
next to him.
"As you know we're getting some suspicious reports from our
visiting medical expert Doctor Ja'Khaleem. Apparently, one month ago
a man who claims to be the long lost dorfan warrior Moakonzi took over
the government in a mysterious bloodless coup de tat," The One Handed
Ultimate Ninja said.
"Any word from Vel or your third self?" Seductress asked.
"We've attempted to make contact with them to no avail," The One
Handed Ninja said. "If possible I'd like them to investigate."
The back door opened. Ultimate Ninja came charging behind.
"No need.... Vel... he's changed sides," Ultimate Ninja #3 said.
"I see..." Ultmate Ninja replied.
"Other business," Ninja #2 said. "The Killfile crisis..."
The building alert flared.
"Red alert! Incoming projectile!" shouted the computer.
"Onion Lad! You better not have confused the alert button for
coffee machine again," Deja Dude said.
"No... it's... Guy Redundant Man. He's charging the
building!" Onion Lad said.
Rick Henkerton waved his spectral analyzer in the air as fast as he
could. He had managed to trace the Killfiles's headquarters to a
space within a four mile area of downtown Net.tropolis.
"You getting this Angelica?" he asked.
"Yeah... the signal is coming from the intersection of several major
ley lines," she said. "You're never going to guess the
Rick frowned for a minute.
"LNH headquarters," he said.
"How'd you guess?" she asked.
"The one place the heroes would never think of looking. The very
space around them. Reminds me of The Overlord's plan," Rick said.
(See: The Operation Overlord crossover.) "Sorry, I guess that was
before your time."
"Uh yeah..." Angelica said.
Rick turned around. He noticed four glowing balls chasing him.
"Uh... Angelica. I've got K-balls in pursuit," Rick said.
"I'm going to charge the building. They wouldn't dare destroy
it... since they affect all the dimensions between here and there.
They'd kill themselves."
"I'll have Carolyn meet you there ASAP," Angelica said.
An energy bolt blasted Rick. He went barreling toward LNH
"Arggggh!" Rick shouted.
Samuel Forge was enjoying himself. The video game controller in his
hand and his mother sitting next him. She was far behind him.
That's why he loved Super Malaria Brothers Raceway.
"I win!" He said. "Let's play again!"
"That's twelfth time today. Come on, I want to show you
something," she said.
She got up and opened the door to the lab. Sammy followed her.
"Don't tell Uncle Rick that I showed you this. He wanted to wait
till Christmas and..." she said.
"What is it?" he asked.
"You'll see..." she said.
She pushed a buttons on the computer. The program began to turn on.
Then the communication card on her belt chirped.
"Damn it," Carolyn muttered under her breath.
"Carolyn, its Angelica. Blue Eagle has engaged the world,"
"Look, I have to watch Sammy today while Terrence is..." Carolyn
"Understood. Sunshine and Songbird are en route to take charge of
Small Potatoes," she said.
"Angelica, what's up the codenames?" she said.
"Josh's idea," she said. "Sorry. Lucas and Ellie are on
Carolyn turned to Sammy.
"Sammy, I'm sorry, I'll have to show you the surprise later.
Uncle Rick is in trouble and..." she said.
Electra followed Tyler and Speed into the front door of LNH
headquarters. She thought back to that last lightning bolt. There
had been an image of this building and something disastrous.
"So, you said the sword would tell us where to go. It's been a
month. Are you just giving up?" Electra said.
"Speed Richardson and I are still reserve member of the LNH. We
received and emergency summons from the Ultimate Ninjas. We had to
attend to it," said Tyler. "It is a shame that Dalton P. Asters
couldn't help with us our report."
"He likes to limit his contact with the Military Industrial
Entertainment and Superhuman Gladiator Match Complex," Electra said.
"Arggggh!" someone shouted.
Electra turned. There was something familiar about the scream.
Years rolled back. She was in a waiting in Sig.ago General Hospital.
She almost dropped the sword as she raced to the source of the scream.
She arrived just in time to see Rick crashing through the glass wall
around the LNH lobby.
"Rick!" she shouted.
A rainbow colored vortex opened up. A woman stepped out. Electra
turned to face her. The woman who emerged looked like Electra only
about ten years younger.
"You!" they shouted. "Somehow I knew you'd be involved in
Rick smoldered body rolled across the carpet. Fred didn't even
bother to look up from reading The Boondocks. Deja Dude and Ultimate
Ninja burst out of the elevator.
"Status!" Ultimate Ninja shouted.
"Killfile attack," Guy Redundant Man snarled.
Guy Redundant Man struggled to his feet.
"What? Why?" Ultimate Ninja replied.
Terrence Coffee came down the stairs.
"Yeah GRM, what secret hiding from us?" he said.
"Their headquarters--- it occupies spatial dimensions six through
ten. Been trying to track them for months. It's--- it's here,"
Electra and Carolyn stared each other in the face. Carolyn saw a
weird reflection in Electra's eyes. It was a tall haired man with a
pot on his head. She felt a cold hand tap her on the shoulder. She
turned to face Appleseed.
"Didn't I tell you I was bringing some friends with the object
that was going to help you?" Appleseed said.
"She is hardly a friend," Carolyn shouted.
Appleseed took a look at the sky and flying globes.
"War makes for strange bedfellows," he said.
"What war?" Electra said.
"The one you're on the road to. One whose outcome will be
decided based on decisions made in the hours to come," he said.
Appleseed grabbed the sheathed sword from Electra and handed it to
"I present you with Excalibur..." he said. "... use it wisely
"Wait a minute... what abour Rick? And the Killfile globes?"
"You're free to do what you wish from here on in. Your
'sister' has a path to chose," Appleseed said. "But your
friend is safe with the LNH."
The energy bolts began blasting equipment. Fred continued reading
the comics as Ultimate Ninja and Deja Dude leapt in action. Guy
Redundant Man took to the air. The ball whizzed passed him. He
punched the ball and received an energy blast in kind.
"Our quarrel is not with you, Henkerton," The Deliah globe said.
"It's with him."
Rick looked down. Below him Terrence Coffee, known to some as Kid
Rewind, was rapidly unwinding time just enough to stop property damage.
The globes encircled Terrence. Their energy began to flow through
"What the--?" Terrence yelled.
Soon where Terrence one stood was an energy ball. The globes began
"Every father," said Deliah. "Should witness the birth of his
Then the globes vanished.
"Now what?" asked Deja Dude.
"Get every super genius in the building you can find. We adjust
whatever dookhickeys you have to," Ultimate Ninja said. "We're
taking the battle to them."
To be continued....
Amelia Chesterfield, Screw You Over Lad, Doctor Ja'Khaleem, Rick
Henkerton, Angelica Weinstein, and Appleseed created by Jesse N.
Willey. Doctor I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter created by Dane
Martin. Deliah Joy Killfile, Samuel Forge, Carolyn Forge, Electra,
Tyler Bridge, Speed Richardson and Terrence Coffee created by Tom
Russell Jnr. Ultimate Ninja created by wReam. Seductress and Deja
Dude created by Martin Phipps. Onion Lad created by Tom Russell Jnr.
and Dane Martin. He is reserved by Jesse N. Willey but usable with
permission. Fred is public domain. This document is copyright Jesse
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