[LNH/Acraphobe] Road To Killfile Wars #4
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Sun Oct 2 19:26:42 PDT 2005
No matter where you go, the life of a cargo clerk is dull. Except
today on a small corner of the planet Dorfia. Shon, a mere level two
clerk with 8 months experience had the honor and distinction of
escorting the Emperor in the flesh.
"So," said the emperor as he added the thumb print to the data
pad. "What old friend sent me this grand and mighty master
"The label had only one word... Killfile," Shon said.
"Killfile? We swore off dealing with him years ago. Why would he
send us..." the emperor said.
There was a beep from the datapad. Warning lights flashed. Before
anyone could react all the people inside the imperial palace were
bombarded with neutrons and died. The building itself was intact.
The Road to Killfile Wars #4 of 12
By Jesse N. Willey
Speed Richardson looked up at the glowing ball.
"Leave these Children alone," he said.
The ball hovered in the air.
"I was just visiting my nephew. No harm done," the ball said.
"Leave, now," he said.
"Do not intervene hero," the ball said.
The ball began to pulsate and release a jolt of energy. Speed
released a shield made of cellophane. The energy beam deflected back
toward the ball which shattered.
"This is only the beginning, hero," the ball said.
"Bring it," he shouted. "Now if I could only figure out how I
It was seven minutes after five a clock at Arlington National
Cemetery. Tyler waited for the guards to change, but they were late.
They were never late. Not this late anyway. The guards on duty took
haggard and tired as the cement five feet in front of them. A man
crawled his way out of the concrete.
"Oh Tyler... come out, come out wherever you are," the man said.
He should have expected something like this after their last meeting.
He just hadn't thought it would happen so soon. He'd only left the
LNH HQ a few hours before.
"Hello Gary," Tyler said.
"Don't hello me Bridge," Gary shouted. "Not after what you
did to Alicia."
Gary threw a piece of concrete at him. Tyler took the blow, as to
keep the guards and scant few other tourists out of harm's way.
"Me? Me?! You were the one who.." Tyler said.
Gary snarled and pounded his fists back into the ground.
"Madelyne is dead. Everyone I've ever loved is dead," he
"What you felt for Alicia Avenue wasn't love," Tyler said.
"At least I could have been happy," Gary said.
"Look... I did all I could. She just didn't want..." Tyler
said. "Wait a minute what's that smell?"
The flame rippled in the air. Followed by a loud whirring sound from
"What the fuck did you do, Bridge?" Gary said.
"It wasn't me, Gary Niceguy," he said.
A ball of flame erupted from the torch. Tyler leapt toward the base
and phased through the blazing hot metal. As he peered inside the
blazing hot torch he saw three words slowly disappear. Find your
Percival. As Tyler phased out again he heard Gary screaming. Niceguy
had been consumed by flames. As soon flew of into the distance, and
into the waters of the Potomac.
Electra had been hitchhiking for days. She had managed to get as far
as Ohio, about twenty miles from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. She
pulled a sleeping bag out of a knapsack she bought somewhere along the
road. She pulled off to the side road and into a small corn field and
began to drift off to sleep. After several minutes a bright light
began to blare. At first she thought it was a plane. She opened her
eyes and notice the light was bouncing around like a pinball.
"Shit, they found me," she muttered.
Then features of the light's features became clear. It was some
sort of large craft that looked like too large discs connected by a
large metal tube. A hatch opened and a bright light shown out. A
human like figure hovered out of it. As soon as it was clear of the
craft it dropped like a stone and flew off quicker than Electra could
"What the hell?" Electra muttered.
"Oh.... I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.... <click> Pocket
calculators save children from terrorists... more at eleven.... <click>
You are entering another dimension... a dimension of sight and of
sound... <click> ... who prosecute the offenders. These are their
stories," the man muttered.
"What?" she said.
"Sorry.... Sometimes... sometimes it's hard to block the
transmissions. Got any silver hat?" he said.
"What is silver hat?" she said.
"You know... tinfoil? Hello.. you must new. Did Crystal send
you?" he said.
"What?" Electra said.
"You mean you aren't from the A.A.S.N.?" he asked. "Great.
Those Pegausoid bastards must have my dog tags again. Now how am I
going to get a ride to Washington D.C. "
Electra looked at the man as if he were crazy.
"Look, whoever you..." Electra said.
"Dalton. Dalton P. Asters," he said.
"I'd like to help you but I don't know what this A.A.S.N. is and
I don't have the number of the nearest asylum," she said.
"I'm not crazy. The A.A.S.N.... Alien Abductee's Support
Network. Hello," he said. "Back page ad, twice monthly in the
Weekly World News? Hello?"
"Are you sure you aren't crazy," she said.
"Positive... I just need to get information to somebody in
Washington... about something. Though I don't know if I know what
that it is... though I'm sure it'll come back to me before I get
there... assuming the Regal 13 doesn't find me before then."
Electra's eyes perked up.
"Regal 13, eh? I think there is a 7-11 down the road. Let's see
if we can get you a silver hat," she said.
"Really?" Dalton asked.
Electra felt here skin crawl. It was the first thing she felt in a
"Dalton, I think this start of a beautiful friendship," said
"I didn't catch your name," he said.
"Electra," she said.
"Does mean you want to screw your dad and I don't have a
chance?" he asked.
"One of them anyway," she said.
Tyler sat on a bench in the Lincoln Memorial after dark. It was
closed. His LNH clearance let him in after hours. He didn't know
why he came there. He seemed to be in places like this lately...
where the line between death and life seemed so thin. Looking up at
the statue, he felt a bit like Jimmy Stewart in some movie he had
fallen asleep in during his lifetime.
"Mister Lincoln, find your Percival. What the hell kind of clue is
that?" he asked.
"Percival was the grail," echoed around him.
"What?" he said. "What does that mean?"
But there was no one there.
Rick looked over all the sensor data Vel had sent him. He had been
staring at it all day. He was no closer to finding their headquarters
than he was when he started. At least Carolyn looked as perplexed as
"These readings make no sense. All known locations factors are all
wrong. Even energy telemetry project is coming up with nothing,"
"Yes, but your area of expertise is biology. I'm the physics
geek," Rick said. "and I've tried everything I can think of.
"What?" Carolyn asked.
Rick switched into his super powered form and began typing keys as
fast as he could. He knew this test had to be time exactly right or
wouldn't work the way he needed it to. An image blinked on the
screen for a fraction of a second.
"Bingo!" Rick said.
"What do you mean bingo? It was something that was there and gone.
It could be a sensor glitch," Carolyn responded.
"... but it's not," Rick said. "The reason the LNH sensors
couldn't pick up the Killfiles's headquarters is because they were
only checking the four observable dimensions."
"What are you saying?" Carolyn said.
"Come on, even you're familiar with dimensional theory. There are
two types... temporal which there could be an infinite number of.
Then there are spatial dimensions which there could be between 8 to 26
different ones. We scanned for signatures for the four dimensions
we're used to observing. So you eliminate the impossible, whatever
is left, no matter how improbable must be the truth," Rick said.
"So how do you find them?" she asked.
"We don't. As sucky as this sounds... we have to wait for them
to strike again. Only this time, adjust the hyperspace corridor to
follow them," Rick said. "I'll be in my lab."
Dalton finished wrapping the foil around his head. Electra glared at
him in confusion. Dalton turned back around.
"Where was I again?" Dalton asked.
"The Bible," she said.
"Oh yes, that. A buddy of mine swears that the reason The Bible is
the most shoplifted book in the world is all about magic. See, Johan
Faustus the immortal mage never died. He was so mad at God for
refusing to give him his soul back that he went into business. And
bought a huge share of stock in a lot of the companies that print
Bibles and hid a spell world on it. One that encourages sin," Dalton
said. "I know it's absurd... but it's only half as crazy as some
of the shit I deal with on the day to day... so you know... it just
might be true."
"Do you ever shut up," she asked. "Or at least talk sense?"
"I am talking sense. It's the rest of the world that's locked
in their own private trivial worlds. But there is dangerous crap
going on... and somebody has to put a stop to it. I mean you got the
creeps at the Pentagon and in the White House with the magic 'T'
word. You've got the rest of the world hating us... you have spandex
puppets of higher and lower powers beating the snot out of each other
for the sole purpose of creating an illusion of peace and order as the
status quo and distracting people from what's really going on in the
world. Then you have people like me... just an innocent guy caught up
in a web of lies, truth, deceit, corporations, and governments both
here and um.... Let's just say abroad shall we. If say the 'E'
they'll zap me," Dalton said.
"The 'E' word?" Electra asked.
"Yeah, Extra... ouch! I didn't even say it," he said.
"Sorry, they'll still monitor and control what I say until their at
least a light year out. It'll pass in a few hours."
Vel was still working in the lab as Seductress came in. The rest of
the staff had long since gone to sleep. She slowly tapped him on the
"Vel, there's something I need to tell you..." she said.
"What?" he said.
"We just got word that there was some type of explosion at Dorfan
Imperial Palace. Everyone's dead... including the Emperor," she
"So he has no heir. That means mere days or weeks before a civil
war. Unless..." Vel said. "Of course... it all makes sense. Get
me a ship... I need to go find The Barge."
To Be Continued...
Shon, Vel, Rick Henkeron and Dalton Asters created by Jesse N.
Willey. Speed Richardson, Tyler Bridge, Carolyn Forge-Coffee, Samuel
Forge, Gary Niceguy and Electra created by Tom Russell Jnr. Seductress
created by Martin Phipps. Document copyright by Jesse N. Willey
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