[LNH/ACRA] Deja Dude / Master Blaster Special #6

Martin Phipps martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Wed Nov 16 23:37:53 PST 2005

  "Hi, Rob."
  "Hi.  Hey, nice moustache!"
  "Yeah.  I thought I'd try growing one.  You should
  "Oh no no no.  wReanna doesn't like facial hair."
  "Neither does Imelda."
  "So why grow the moustache?"
  "I figure if we both grow enough body hair then
we'll be able to post Deja Dude / Master Blaster
Special #7 during January's Talking Ape Month and
still be considered on topic."

        Deja Dude / Master Blaster Special #6: 
     Deja Dude and Master Blaster Go Hollywood #6 

  "Welcome back.  I'm Deja Dude."
  "And I'm Master Blaster."
  "Tonight we will review the concert movie by Bad Pun
Boy, Jesus Sucks!  Here's a clip."

  "Do you know what men want.  I mean, what we really
want?  I mean besides sex.  We want women to keep the
toilet seat up.
  "Seriously.  Imagine you're coming home late. 
You're drunk.  You're tired.  You seriously want to
take a piss.  But you sure as hell don't want to turn
the lights on.  So you stand in front of the John and
do your business but instead of hearing the familiar
sound of piss hitting water, you hear the awful noise
of piss hitting a plastic toilet seat.
  "And then women get upset at you for making a mess
in the bathroom."

  "Ha ha.  Ha ha ha.  Ha ha ha ha.  Hilarious!  What
do you think, Rob?"
  "I don't know.  It's a bit juvenile.  I mean...
bathroom humour?"
  "Come on!  We're talking Bad Pun Boy here!  He's
done the talk show circuit already.  He's even hosted
Saturday Net.Live!"
  "The man is a genius!  A legend in his own time!"
  "Hmm.  He also looks a lot like you."
  "Yeah?  So?"
  "Has anybody ever seen Deja Dude and Bad Pun Boy in
the same place at the same time?"
  "Oh!  Look!  It's time for a commercial break!"
  "Commercial break?"

ANNOUNCER: Tonight, on The Family Guy, Stewie develops
strange new powers.

                       * RING * RING * RING *

STEWIE: Damn that wretched appliance!  Will it ever
stop ringing?

                       * RING * RING * RING *

STEWIE: Very well!  I shall remove the receiver from
where it rests and see what that does!

LOIS: Hello?  Hello?


LOIS: Stewie?  Where's your father?  Did he leave you
home unattended?

STEWIE: Unattended?  So the fat man was supposed to be
here spying on me, was he?

LOIS: I'm going to have a word with him when I get

STEWIE: Get home?  Oh but you shall not get home!  You
shall die!

LOIS: Ack!  Ack!

STEWIE: Lois?  Lois?  My God!  It worked!  I actually
killed her!

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, on the Net.ional Geographic
Channel, it's the latest episode of Dogs Without Jobs

ROVER: I've been out of work for two years now.  It's
been rough.

REX: Ruff!  Ruff!  Ruff!

ROVER: Especially now that I have twelve puppies to

  "And we're back!"
  "Wow!  So we're on cable TV now!"
  "Mmm.  Hmm."
  "Cool!  So let's get back to seeing movies.  Have
you seen any lately?
  "I saw Saw this weekend."
  "How was it?"
  "It was so so.  Like you said."
  "I saw Saw 2."
  "I know.  You said.  I just said so."
  "No, I mean I saw Saw 2, the sequel to Saw."
  "Oh, I see."
  "um, guys..."
  "Oh, look!  It's aLLiterative Lass!  What do you
have to say?"
  "would you please Stop making the 'S' Sound So much?
 that'S my Schtick!"
  "Goodbye!  Nice seeing you!  Anyway, I was kidding
about seeing Saw.  I didn't see Saw this weekend."
  "Okay.  And I didn't play on the swings either this
weekend.  What's your point?"
  "Ha!  That was good.  Now let's talk about the
President of China."
  "No.  Not Hwa.  Tung Chee Hwa is the Hong Kong Chief
  "Not Ha either.  Maybe you're thinking of Kim Ha
Joong, the Korean ambassador to China."
  "Yes.  That's him.  Hu Jin Tao."
  "What about him?"
  "Doesn't he have a funny name?"
  Master Blaster shook his head and sighed.  "Aren't
we hear to talk about movies?  Haven't you seen any
movies lately?"
  Deja Dude also sighed.  "Actually... no.  I've been
really busy lately."
  "Doing what?"
  "Teaching mostly.  I'm currently teaching at a
university, a college and an elementary school.  Same
one Michael is now attending in fact.  So I'm very
  "But what about in your free time?"
  "Imelda's been downloading music videos using
  "Okay.  So how does that keep you busy?"
  "She wants me to copy them to CDs so she can watch
them on the TV in the living room."
  "I see."
  "Then Michael sees me doing this and then says
'Daddy!  Cartoons!' so I'm using kazaa to download
  "What?  Spongebob Squarepants?"
  "The Family Guy."
  "But that's not for kids."
  "Michael likes it.  And he can get Spongebob
Squarepants on Rec.kelodeon.  He can't get The Family
Guy in the Philippi.net."
  "Okay, so you're busy."
  "Yeah.  And I'm also watching the episodes I
download.  I've seen over 60 episodes of The Family
Guy in a matter of weeks."
  "Ew.  That can't be healthy."
  "I isn't.  After twenty episodes, Lois starts
looking really hot."
  "I can see that."
  "And after fifty episodes, Meg starts to look hot."
  "No wait!  Meg has potential!  Did you see the
episode where she got a make-over?"
  "Dude!  She's a drawing!"
  "All she has to do is loose the extra weight and get
  "Dude, you need to try downloading porn instead."
  "Um... well..."
  "I knew it!  You're downloading porn!"
  "Yeah.  Okay.  But don't tell Tom Russell!  The last
thing he wants to hear is that everybody else is still
looking at porn behind his wife's back and that he's
just whipped!"
  "So with teaching, music videos, the Family Guy...
  "And Smallville.  I never miss an episode of
  "So you're pretty busy."
  "But when are you going to actually go see a movie?"
  "Hmm.  I might go see the latest Harry Potter movie.
 If I have time."
  "So where does that leave us?  I mean, we're
supposed to be reviewing movies here.  Haven't you
just wasted everybody's time already with a pointless
  "Well, some would say that's what we do anyway."
  "So I guess we can wrap things up now."
  "Until next time, I'm Deja Dude."
  "And I'm Master Blaster.  What do you mean 'until
next time'?  Are you going to be somebody else next
  "It's just an expression."

                              THE END

Deja Dude and Master Blaster created by Martin Phipps
aLLiterative Lass created by Charles Fitzgerald

Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 

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