[STARFALL] Swamp Patrol #21

[Jamie Rosen]

Low Budget Productions presents,
A Starfall Comics comic:

SWAMP PATROL #21
"Going Out of My Head"
	Continuity Breakdowns, part four

	       [COVER: An extreme close-up of an orange,
		plastic pill bottle. The label reads:
		"For acute paranoia, schizophrenia,
		multiple-personality disorder, depression,
		hysterical blindness, psychotic episodes,
		delusions of grandeur..." and continues
		past the bottom of the cover.]


  Felicia Noir was tired. She'd been working since six o'clock that
morning at the O'Bedlam Memorial Hospital, and as she walked down the
medicinally white halls of the institute she was on the verge of being
out on her feet. At least, she thought, there was only one hour between
now and the end of her shift. The hands on her watch just couldn't move
fast enough.
  At the end of the hall that led to the Ginsberg Wing of the hospital,
she ran into Dr. Jerome. A man in a nebulous part of middle-age, he was
a friendly sort of fellow who combined compassion and joviality in his
treatment of the mentally ill.
  "Hello, Dr. Jerome," Felicia said, stopping to speak with him.
  "Oh, hello Felicia. How are you today?"
  "Tired. I'm putting in extra hours this week."
  "Yes, we all are." He smiled at her. It was a nice smile, Felicia
thought. If she were ever to go crazy, she'd want someone like Dr.
Jerome looking after her.
  "How are the patients in Ginsberg?" she asked.
  He sighed. "By and large they seem entrenched in their problems. But
I still maintain the hope that some day at least some of them shall be
capable of re-entering society as fully functional and participatory
members."
  A cry arose from the ward behind him, a young man's voice shouting
"Where have you gone, Walt Whitman?"
  "If you will excuse me, nurse," Dr. Jerome said.
  Felicia nodded. She had duties to attend to as well.

	*               *                       *               *

  "I'm telling you, I'm not crazy."
  "Of course not, Mr. Stolid."
  Frank gestured emphatically between his roommate and the nurse who
was tending to him. "He's crazy," Frank said. "I'm not crazy."
  The nurse nodded. "I know."
  The other man began to shout, mostly nonsense about numbers and
patterns in the universe, and the nurse moved her attention from Frank
to his roommate, trying to quiet him down.
  "I'm not crazy," Frank repeated, this time to himself.
  "Psssst. Frank!"
  Frank looked around, but couldn't see anyone.
  "Up here!"
  Looking up, Frank saw Donna hiding in an air vent above his head.
  "How did you get up there?" he whispered.
  "Do you have to ask?" She smiled. "Just wanted to let you know I'm
going to get you out of here."
  "Thanks, but how?"
  "Talking to someone?" The nurse had returned her attention to Frank.
  "Um. No." Mentally, Frank kicked himself. *If you're going to
convince her your not crazy, buddy, telling her you're talking to
yourself might not be the best stat.*
  "Okay, Frank. I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?" The nurse
smiled flatly and left the room.
  Frank looked back up at the air vent, but there was no one there.

	*               *                       *               *

  From the hall, Felicia wearily watched the girl drop down from the
air vent and crouch on the floor. No doubt she thought she had
transformed herself into a mouse or some such and was just now changing
back. Felicia sighed. She was such a pleasant, pretty girl, too. It
really was a shame.
  "How are you, Donna?" she asked, stepping into the room as the young
woman climbed back into bed. "Is your wrist feeling any better? I don't
know how they could have forgotten Alice's medication."
  Donna nodded, rubbing her wrist absently. "It's a bit better,
thanks," she said. "I hope Alice is okay. I know she couldn't help
herself."
  Much as the young girl in front of her couldn't help thinking she
could change shape, Felicia thought. "I'm sure she's doing just fine.
You've just been separated for a while so we can make sure it won't
happen again."
  "Well, hurry up and get her back," Donna said, smiling. "We're best
friends."

	*               *                       *               *

  Walking down the hospital-white hallway, Kevin Jerome checked his
clipboard. Alice Grant. And they had been making such progress. He made
sure the sleeves of his coat came down to his thumbs, and stepped into
the room.
  "Hello, Alice. How are you today?"
  Alice was a redhead who looked like she was in her late teens,
although her file stated clearly that she was 24. Until a week ago, she
had been a model patient and treated as such. Now they had her
restrained in a straitjacket once more, for both her own safety and the
safety of others. She didn't seem to mind, though. She was positively
chipper.
  "I'm good, Dr. Jerome," she replied, smiling. "How are you?"
  "I'm good as well. Now, Alice... how much do you remember of last
Sunday."
  "Not a whole lot, I'm afraid. Doc, did I hurt Donna real bad?"
  Jerome shook his head. "No. She's doing well."
  Alice whistled. "Well, that's a relief. I hadn't been able to get
word of her the whole time I've been here. She knows I didn't mean to
do it, right? I mean, that's why I'm *here*, because I do things that I
don't mean to... but I don't want her thinking I wanted to hurt her."
  "Don't worry, Alice, Donna doesn't blame you. Now, maybe we can
figure out why you *did* do what you did, and hopefully stop it from
happening again."
  "I'll give it my best, doc."

	*               *                       *               *

  "You're new here, aren't you?"
  "How could you tell?"
  "The look on your face. You'll get used to it over time."
  "I hope so. Say, there was this one patient..."
  "Vampire guy?"
  "I guess you could call him that."
  "Yeah, he gives everyone the creeps. Smart as Hell. My best advice is
try not to talk to him."
  "But..."
  "We had him doped up for a long time, but somebody higher up got wind
of it and made us stop because it wasn't prescribed. If they'd been
around to hear him talk, well, it damn sure would have been
prescribed."
  "He sounded so rational. So sane. Even when he was telling me about
killing his sister. How can you take it?"
  "I steal the patient's medication."
  "What?"
  "That's a joke, son."

	*               *                       *               *

  *You have to wonder what sort of parents these kids have* Felicia
thought as her low heels clack-clacked down the hallway to the next
patient she had to look in on. *Getting both brothers in here...*
  "He is coming! Repent of your sins and renounce your hell-spawned
ways!"
  The sound of the younger Stolid brother's ranting could be heard even
two doors down the hall. Religious fervor wasn't enough to get you
locked up, although sometimes as she walked around downtown Felicia
wished it was. But repeated counts of assault and the belief that an
angel had granted you the power to shoot laser beams from your hands
was.
  "I renounced my unholy origins, and have been accepted into God's
grace with open arms! The same can be true of you! Your redemption is
at hand!"
  Felicia peaked in the window in the doorway. Yep, as she thought --
the room was empty except for Theodore. Never stopped him from
proselytizing, though. She made sure to tuck the tiny gold crucifix her
mother had given her under her blouse, so that he wouldn't see it. In
the past he had alternately taken it for a sign that she would help him
escape, or seen it as an affront
to and mockery of his beliefs. No point in dealing with either of those
problems if she could avoid it.

	*               *                       *               *

  Felicia Noir smiled as she slipped into her coat and picked her purse
up from the reception desk. Yes, the shortage of qualified
professionals meant longer hours and more draining conditions for her.
But still, her job was of the rare kind that left her feeling like she
had actually contributed something to the world at the end of the day.
It was enough to get her through the subway ride home to her empty
apartment.
  "Goodnight, Kat," she said to the woman at reception.
  "Goodnight, Felicia. See you tomorrow."
  Looking for chap stick in her purse, Felicia stepped into the
revolving door that led out of the hospital. It was only when she
looked up that she noticed the parking lot wasn't there. In fact,
nothing was there, and the revolving doors coughed her up into a grey
void that swallowed her whole.

	*               *                       *               *

  "Psst."
  Frank looked up, but this time there was no sign of Donna in the air
vent.
  "Over here, silly."
  The door opened a crack and Frank saw Donna crouched in the hallway.
He slipped out of his bed and padded over to her.
  "How did you get out?" he whispered.
  She smiled. "I have my ways. Come on."
  "What, now?" In his shock, he let his voice rise to normal volume,
and he glanced back at his roommate to make sure he was still asleep.
Luckily, while the man was muttering something about wheels and
circles, he didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings.
  "Yes, now. I've already gotten word to the others. We just have to
get Alice and then we can go."
  "Others?" Frank put his hand on Donna's wrist, and she winced.
"Alice?"
  "Of course, silly. You didn't think I was going to let the rest of
the team sit here and rot."
  "Well..."
  Donna's eyes flashed angrily. "And I have to get Alice out, she's
been like my best friend since I got here."
  "Didn't she try to break your wrist?"
  "That was... an accident. It wasn't really Alice. It's just a little
problem she has." She pulled on his arm. "Now let's *go* before we get
caught. You think it'll be this easy if we have to try it a second
time?"
  Donna led Frank down the dimly lit hallway. Things were significantly
less busy at night, Frank noticed, although he still felt like he was
going to be apprehended by a doctor or security guard at a moment's
notice. Did they even have security guards here? Of course, they had
to. He just couldn't remember seeing any.
  "First we have to get your brother."
  "Ted?!" Frank stopped. "You're breaking *Ted* out of here? He tried
to kill us! Twice!"
  Donna shook her head. "That was before. Remember? He's better now.
But we..."
  "What? What?"
  "We may have to play along with him a bit. He seems to have relapsed
or something since we showed up here."
  Frank closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Great. So
what you're saying is he's not better now." He felt Donna tugging at
his shirt and the two of them started moving again.
  "Not right this moment. I think it has something to do with this
place." She made a vague gesture that could have taken in the hallway,
the whole building, or the city. "Ever since we woke up here, things
have been crazy. Pardon the pun."
  "Keep that up and you'll sound like Pete."
  She punched him playfully in the shoulder with her good hand. "Ick."
Then her smile vanished. "There," she said. "Ted's in that room." She
indicated a room that Frank could barely see in the dim light.
  "How do we get him out?"
  "Leave that to me. Stay here."
  Donna ran over to the room, practically disappearing in the shadows.
A few seconds passed, and then the door simply clicked open. The Ted
who stepped out wore his hospital clothes like the robes of a priest.
  "Remember," Donna said, popping up beside Frank, "call him Theodore,
just for now."
  "Aw jeez."
  "So, brother," Ted said as he joined them, "have you accepted your
redemption?"
  "Er. Yes. Yes I have."
  Ted smiled. "Excellent."
  "Now we have to free Brill." Donna led the two Stolids down the
hallway while she filled them in. "He's under heavier security than we
were, but it shouldn't be too hard with three of us to work around it."
  "What about the others? Janice and Pete and Shelly?"
  The three of them ducked around a corner as someone came down the
hall. "I don't know. I couldn't find any records of them. Hopefully
they're on the outside somewhere and we can get to them and find out
what's going on."
  They walked in silence for a long time. Frank couldn't think of
anything to say to his brother, or anything to say to Donna in front of
his brother.
  "He's in there," Donna said, indicating a room a few paces from where
they stood. "And Alice is near here, too. So when we've gotten him out
it'll be easier to go get her too."
  "Alice?" Ted asked.
  "She's a friend of Donna's," Frank explained.
  "I see. Well, as long as we are all doing God's work, nothing shall
defeat us in the due course of time."
  "Right." Frank nodded. "So let's do some of God's work and get Brill
out of there."
  "No need," Brill said as he stepped out of the shadows. "When Donna
told me about your plan, I thought I might as well help myself so we
could get a head start. Unfortunately, it required the elimination of
some obstacles." He gestured at the door to his room, which was propped
open by what appeared to be a body.
  "You *killed* him?" Donna said.
  "Eliminated," Brill corrected. "Killed is such a harsh word, and so
inappropriate since it requires the subject to have been alive
beforehand."
  "He wasn't a vampire, Brill."
  "Hmm? Oh, no. No, he was a figment of my imagination, much as that
corpse is currently a figment of our collective imagination. As is this
hospital and quite possibly everyone within it, except for us. Maybe
even including us."
   Frank stepped forward, hands clenching. "How can you be so sure?"
  Before Brill could answer, Donna stepped between them. "Guys, let's
go get Alice and then we can argue this once we're out of here, okay?"
  Reluctantly, Frank nodded. But he didn't like the way his friends
were acting. This wasn't the Swamp Patrol he had known for so long. Or
was it? Maybe he *was* crazy...

	*               *                       *               *

  For Alice Grant, sleep was not as pleasant as it used to be. Yes,
tonight they had let her out of the straitjacket, but she was still
strapped down, tied to her bed. Helpless. She couldn't move, couldn't
get up, couldn't run away. And the straps didn't stop the voice that
she heard like the jacket did. In fact, the straps that held her down
on her bed made the voice louder in her ears, in her mind. Inside.
  <Alice...>
  *I can't hear you. I'm asleep. Go away.*
  <Alice...>
  *I said go away!*
  <They're coming for you, Alice. I want you to go with them. They will
set you free...>
  *I want to stay here!*
  <No you don't, Alice...>
  *But Donna is here and she's my friend!*
  <Donna is coming, Alice. Coming for you...>
  *She's... she's coming?*
  <Yes...>
  Alice looked down at her body, a body that had betrayed her before
and even as she looked at it was prepared to betray her again. The
mouths, the little slit mouths on her wrists had opened as the voice
spoke to her, showing teeth and tongues that invaded her at their
leisure.
  *I... You win. I will.*

	*               *                       *               *

  "Is this it?" Brill asked, looking at the other four. "Shouldn't
there be more of us?"
  "Donna said she couldn't find any records of Janice, Pete, or
Shelly," Frank explained.
  "Right! *That* was their names!" Brill scratched at the beard that
had been growing against his will, since he hadn't been allowed sharp
objects. "Well, let's get out of here, then."
  The five made their way quietly to an elevator.
  "You know," Donna said, "even without the others, it still feels like
we're missing people."
  "Are there supposed to be people in the halls?" Alice asked.
  "That's it! Where are all the other people? Night shift staff,
security guards..."
  "We passed a guard before," Ted said. "Remember?"
  "And Brill killed one," Frank said with obvious distaste. "But since
then I haven't seen a single soul other than the ones in this
elevator."
  "I told you, figments of our imagination." Brill smiled, obviously
pleased with himself. "And now that we've caught on, they're not around
anymore."
  "I suppose that's a possibility."
  The elevator dinged and spat them out into the lobby.
  "See?" Brill said. "Not even a receptionist. And look outside."
  The world beyond the front door was an opaque greyness.
  "A trick of the streetlights, cloud cover, and the concrete of the
parking lot," Frank asserted. "Simple as that."
  "I don't care if it's a trick involving a bunny and a bouquet of
flowers," Donna said, running for the door. "Let's get out of here."
  "Wait!" Frank shouted, running after her. The others followed quickly
on his heels. "You don't know what..." But she was gone, through the
revolving door, and Frank was right behind her. He came out into the
grey void that his eyes had tried to tell him about, and he crashed
headlong into Donna.
  "We're out!" Donna said.
  "But where--"
  She cut him off with a kiss.

___

NEXT ISSUE: "Wish You Were Here" -- stranded in this grey void, our
heroes hitch a ride on a ship without a crew. And just who will be our
heroes by next issue, anyway?


***************************************************************************
*Swamp Patrol #21 contents Copyright 2005 Jamie Rosen.
  *
*Swamp Patrol Copyright Ted Brock, other characters copyright 2005
Jamie  *
*Rosen
  *
***************************************************************************