[RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #1

saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au
Fri Jan 28 17:27:14 PST 2005

[RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #3

My Goodness.  I can't leave you people alone for a minute, can I?

Mmff.  A [RACCies] cascade.  That's a new twist.  Does this mean I can
still use the version of Boysenstrawblue I've been crafting based on
Ursula Le Guin's _Left hand of Darkness_, 'cause this is the
non-continuity version of the character?

Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #3  -  by Saxon Brenton

"Ah-ha," cried Mangaman, jumping up as his frenzied mind leapt into
villainous cliche #136 ('When confronted by a potential opponent that
you aren't properly prepared for, try to fake them out with grandiose
claims so as to gain yourself time for either the Fight Scene or a
strategic retreat.').

Objectively speaking, this was not exactly the best thing to do, since
Mangaman was actually *trying* to find the LNH and get their help, and
his actions - which included not just whipping out his cool-looking
lightsaber-like sword but also not only getting footprints all over
the upholstery - would count against him later in the story.  But he
was stressed, caught by surprise, and reflexes like that are often
the only that that keep you alive when you work in the net.ahuman
conflict business.  Semi-retired or not, he hadn't lost his edge.

"Back, baka!" he continued, his reflexes still running ahead of him as
he used his free hand to bring forth from his belt a small container
labelled 'Granny Feldenmeyer's Peanut Butter Fudge'.  "In this
container I have last batch of my dreaded Manga Disease Virus,
which will instantly cause you to mutate into a super-deformed style
version of yourself!"  And then before Boysenstrawblue could react, he
ripped the lid off the container.

Half a dozen fake snakes sprang out and ricochet all over the cabin.
"Oops," went Mangaman.

"Actually, that looks more like a carefully coded reference to
tentacle sex hentai," said Boysenstrawblue.


"You know," interjected anonymous RACC reader #3.  "Does it
*matter* whether he got killed or not?  These are comic books after
all.  People come back from the dead all the time."

"Yes, but," countered anonymous RACC reader #1, "these days when
people come back they need at least a four part storyline with
crossovers and a die-cut cover enhancement."

"No no no," said anonymous RACC reader #2.  "That's more 90s.
These days it'd just be a four part storyline."

Anonymous RACC reader #1 raised an eyebrow.  "You think the
comics industry has learnt its lesson from the speculator driven
excesses of the 1990s?"

"I doubt it," said anonymous RACC reader #5.  "Just look at the
glut of X-Men franchise books we have at the moment."

"Where's anonymous RACC reader #4?" asked anonymous RACC
reader #1.

"Still crashed and unconscious in bed after a late Friday night
on the turps," said anonymous RACC reader #5.

"Oh?  I guess that means he's one of the guys in the Asia-Pacific
region, since everybody else is still on the FriDAY side of the
date line."

"People, please, we're wandering off track AGAIN," said
anonymous RACC reader #3.  "Can we get back to Pointless
Awards Man II's problem?"

"Yes please!" squeaked the distraught PAM2.

"Now, it seems to me that although it's true that these days returns
from the dead need to be explained, we don't need to go to an awful
lot of hype or razzle-dazzle to do so," continued anonymous RACC
reader #3.

"Are you sure we need to even explain it?" asked anonymous RACC
reader #2.  "I mean *explanations* are only there to help maintain
the illusion of reality needed to suspend disbelief.  He could always
just go: 'Hi there.  I'm the villain, and I'm back from the dead.  And
because villains always return from the dead, I'm not going to even
try to justify it.  It's what we do.  Deal with it.' "

"I am not a villain!" said Pointless awards Man II.  "Stop saying

"Excuse me?  You locked Pointless Awards Man I in a closet for
*years* just so you could host the RACCies," said anonymous RACC
reader #3.  "That sounds like rather selfish, non-heroic behaviour to

"It's not true!" cried PAM2.  "Stop saying those things!  It wasn't
me!  It was two other people who are somebody else!  Half the lies
they tell about me aren't true anyway!"

Saxon Brenton     Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au

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