[MISC] President Evil: A-Pack-o-Lies #4

[Jamie Rosen]

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#4 "The Second Term"


The seven-foot-tall man trudged steadily to the abandoned paramilitary
installation in RACCoon City, oblivious to the time that was passing.
The W Force called to him, and Pregnant Chad would not be denied.

Abruptly, a chain wrapped itself around his neck and hoisted his gravid
form off the ground.

"What is the meaning of this!?!" he sputtered, clawing at the chain to
keep from strangulation.

"I know what you seek." The voice was in his head. "And it cannot come
to pass."

The villain looked upward and saw the chain was attached to a police
box hovering above him. Outside the police box floated a brain, and it
seemed the voice was coming from said cerebellum.

"Your fiendish alien plans must not come to pass," intoned the brain.
"So sayeth I, your friendly neighbourhood Lion Brain! Much as I stay
alive through force of will, so shall my will bind you here and leave
you hanging, Chad, while I venture forth to assist my fellow Random
Heroes in the depths of the Raincoat Corporations secret paramilitary
installation."

Speaking of which...

"Let me oooouuuuut!!!" howled the Blak Wizzarde as he continued clawing
at the exit to no avail. The zombie senior citizens shambled closer
still, lamenting their inability to follow the ballot, showing almost
as much life as Al Gore at a social function, and the rest of the
Random Heroes assumed defensive positions, preparing to fend off the
attack.

But it was an attack that never came, as the senior citizens were
felled by an unseen assailant. Changing positions faster than John
Kerry on the campaign trail, the Random Heroes spun around to see who
had saved them from this geriatric jeremiad that had seemed so imminent
mere moments before.

"What?" exclaimed Shining Wombat. "Why, it can't be!"

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WHO can't it be?
WHAT is the W Force?
WHERE is RACCoon City?
WHEN will the next issue be posted?
WHY would anyone continue this cascade after two years?
HOW should I know?

Confused? You will be, after the next issue of President Evil!

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Everyone is public domain. Lion Brain was made by Lee's Useless
Superhero Generator, the same device used by Mike to create the
original Random Heroes.
(c) Copyright 2005 Jamie Rosen, for what it's worth