[LNH/LNH2/Acra] Vel #4

cabbagewielder at yahoo.com cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Thu Jan 13 09:22:31 PST 2005

Previously: The other Vel began his campaign to save the Planet Haven.
Meanwhile the LNH went looking for Vel.   Plus, Dran goes to see
Sigmund Freud.

I first met him several years ago, when I was still on Haven.  I was
still a teenager.    My friend Rod and I were cruising the open air
markets for cheap imported videos are cheese puffs.   The service robot
took our cash, and we headed home.   That's when we saw it; an eight
foot tall Jello mold that was ingesting the desert sand and releasing
the fresh scent of phosphorus.

"Hey, Vel, I dare you to touch it," Rod said.
"No way.  I'm not stupid.  You touch it.  I double dare you," I

Then his ship flew down out of nowhere.   The hatch underneath the
cockpit opened up.   There he was swinging of a rope.  His fists were
brightly glowing.   You have to remember, he wasn't really well known
on his home planet.  Out here in deep space, his craft 'The Good Ship
Lollipop' and his thunder gauntlets were his trademark.   His
exploits were legendary.

"Nick Starless!" Rod shouted.

Starless shoved his charged gauntlets into the creature.   It shrieked
wildly.   Protoplasm or whatever passed for blood in the creature came
leaking out of its pours.   It was incredible.   I had never seen
anything more amazing thing in my whole life.  Sure, Rod and I fought
are few rampaging robots before but it took us twenty minutes to beat
the thing.  He made the whole adventuring thing look so easy.

"See ya around kids," he said.

Vel #4
Schroedinger's Planet Part One
Road to Dorfia
By Jesse N. Willey

"Imagine how I felt when I saw him again a few years later in
Sig.ago fighting Doctor Killfile," Vel said.  (See The Team #48)
"It was most surprising."

The three heroes stood outside the flight thingee.   Sing Along Lass
stood behind Vel, while Jen stood, arms stretched out while leaning
against the flight thingee's engine.

"So you think he'll help us?" Carina said.
"You're coming?" Vel said.
"Vel, you and I have broken up, but we're still talking about
helping a planet of millions of people," she said.  "Of course
I'm coming."
"Count me in," Jen said.
"All right Jailbait," Vel said.
"Seductress," she corrected him.
"When did you change your codename?" Vel said.
"A few days ago.  Probably while you busy cleaning swimming pool and
fixing pipes," Jen said.
"Oh," Vel said.
"Just call him," Carina said.
"I already did while two were having your head to head with
Marcia," Vel said.   "You two ready?"
"I've been being ready," Jen said.


Vel brought the Flight Thingee down on top of the flat mountaintop.
The hatched opened out on the large Wyoming skyline.    Jen and Carina
looked around seeing nothing.   Vel just smiled.

"What so funny?" Carina asked.
"Devil's Tower," Vel said.  "Very clever Starless."
"What?  I don't get it?" Carina said.

Jen snickered.   The air wavered in the sky.   What had once been a
blah grey sky was now spaceship that was about the size of a commercial
aircraft.    The cockpit hatch opened up.    A rope quickly descended.

"This is important!" Starless shouted.  "Now, get in."


Subcommander Zey sat in his chair of the bridge of his ship.
Various crewmen of his ship went about their duties.  Lights blinked,
reports came in.  It was nothing out of the ordinary.   It was quite a
disappointment because Zey was hungry for a fight.   His blood craved
battle, as did the blood of all Dorfs.

"Sir, a friggin craft of unknown smegging origin dead ahead," said
the science officer.
"Decloak," Zey said.  "Tactical, I want those weapons running
hot faster than your little baby can crap."
"Aye sir," said the tactical officer.

The Dorf ship wavered into view.

"Prepare to fire," Zey said.
"Sir, they're hailing us," the tactical officer said.
"Damn, I was hoping to get blow the smeg out of something today,"
Zey said.


The Good Ship Lollipop blasted through space at faster than light
speed.  They headed toward the Dorfan border.    Starless and Vel
seemed fine about the whole thing.  Sing Along Lass wished they could
have brought along a few legion members with them.   Maybe Linguist
Lass or Browsing Boy.    Ultimate Ninja would have been an obvious
choice.  Vel was a stubborn man and was unable to be swayed once his
mind was made up.

"Well, what I don't understand is that if that little gizmo's
range is limited to the planet it is on, how did your other self use it
to get to ancient Dorfia," Starless asked.
"He didn't.  Well, not fully," Vel said.  "He used the
"But you said the gateway was destroyed," Nick replied.

Vel sighed.   He thought someone who had experience with time travel
would learn to think a little bit more fourth dimensionally.

"In the present the gateway is broken.  5000 years ago it was in
perfect working order.   He traveled back in time to five thousand
years into Earth's past, then hopped the gateway to Dorfia," Vel
"Another question.   How exactly are we going to cross the
border?" said Sing Along Lass.
"Let's go over the plan one more time," Vel said.  "I'm a
citizen of Dorfan empire.   The son of the Ambassador to Earth no less.
I can come and go across the border as I chose because while the
United States doesn't recognize my duel citizenship, the Dorfs do.
You're a retired general in the Galactic Alliance Army."
"I've still got clearance.  I run aid missions and supplies for
both sides.   I'll have no trouble.  The ladies on the other hand,"
Starless said.
"You could put us in a very large diplomatic pouch," Seductress
"Too conspicuous," Vel said.

They all pondered for a moment.

"Could we just say we're with the LNH?" asked Sing Along Lass.
"I thought about that, but no, that's the last thing they want to
hear," Vel said.  "A pathetic half-breed needs two Legionnaires,
two female ones no less, to protect him."
"Wait, you have imperial blood, right?" Starless said.
"Yeah, a little.  My mom was in a military order similar to the
Norse Valkyries.  The Emperor's brother's wife is my first cousin
once removed," Vel said taking a look at Sing Along Lass.  "You
aren't purposing what I think you're proposing."
"Depends, what did you think I was thinking?" Starless said.
"That we claim we're going to see the Minister of Genetics to
approve a peace-marriage."
"A peace marriage?" Sing Along Lass said.
"Royals of Earth did it all the time.  Essentially, if two
countries, armies, or other paramilitary entities were at war, they
would take a single male and a single female and marry them as part of
a political maneuver.  Forcing them to be at peace because they are all
kin," Vel said.

The warning lights flashed.  Starless turned to face console.   He
rapidly pressed down on the touch sensitive monitors.   An image of
Dorfan battle cruiser appeared bearing down on them.

"We've got a ship decloaking," Starless said.
"Hail them!" Vel said.
"Hey, my ship, my orders," Starless snapped.
"Fine.  I'll hail them," Vel said.


Zey stared at his screen.   Sitting there, larger than life, was the
famous war hero Nick Starless and the pathetic half-dorf  known as Vel.
He wasn't quite sure if the two of them being side by side hurt
Starless's reputation or improved Vel's.   He decided for the
moment to err on the side of Vel.

"How may we friggin help you, General Starless," Zey said.
"I have some medical equipment that the First Minister of the
Benyori personal asked me to deliver," Starless said.
"What of you, Vel?" Zey said.
"As I citizen of the Dorfan empire, I have the right to visit my
homeland whenever I wish.   I have family on the homeworld that I wish
to visit," he said.
"And what of the two other hu-mons," said Zey.
"That is between be and the minister of genetics," Vel said.
"Very well, lower shields and prepare to be scanned," Zey said.

Nick's hands quivered as his lowered the shields.  There were a few
soft beeps that echoed over the line.   They saw Zey's grin.   Nick
put his hands back on the controls.   The Dorf ship's weapons
flashed.   Before Nick could get the shields raised again the ship
rocked back and fourth.  A console exploded.

"Lies!  We know those bioreadings.  The women are with the LNH!"
Zey shouted.
"Computer lock on and return fire!" Starless shouted.


Dran went droning on and on.  Sigmund Freud was getting a bit tired.
He began to drop his pen and stopped making notes.   He knew it
wouldn't matter much.   It was mere typical teenage problems.

"So during the picnic, Cheesecake Eater Lass threw a water balloon
at me.  So I counterattacked with two water balloons.  Then SoWhat
asked something about a hose," Dran said.
"And how did you react to this comment?" Freud said.
"I was too busy getting trounced by Cheesecake Eater Lass.  She's
really hot when she's wet, but I digress," said Dran.

All of a sudden, the world began to appear through a soap bubble.
Sigmund was shocked.  Vel had told him about such things, but Freud had
never thought he would experience such things himself.

"And then what happened, Dran?" Freud said.
"Who or what is a Dran?" said an old woman.
"Sorry, Mrs. Nesbitt.  I think I dozed off for a minute.  Perhaps we
shall simple call it a day," Freud said.


"This shouldn't be happening," Starless shouted.
"You're telling me," said Sing Along Lass.

The automatic safety systems kicked in and started putting out the
fires.  The cockpit was still black with smoke and it was hard to see.
Starless began going down to the floor.

"Seductress, how's Vel?" he said.
"She hasn't found him yet," Sing Along Lass said.

Jen strained as she shoved the last of the smoke into the vents.
As soon as her vision cleared she found she was only a few centimeters
from Vel.  He wasn't breathing.    She knew that due to his redundant
anatomy, chest compressions would be difficult.   Then it hit her.
Throughout her super hero career she had become used her gravity
manipulation powers to decrease an objects gravity.

"This had better work," she said.

Her hands hit him like a rock.   She began doing mouth to mouth.   It
was different than when she had saved Fred's life.   Even as life
returned to him, his breath felt cold and distant.   When she was sure
he was breathing on his own, she stopped.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Jen said.
"Like what?" Vel said.
"Thank you, for one," she said.

Vel said nothing.  Jen grunted.

"Y'know, ever since we left your apartment you've been avoiding
me.  Is this about Marcia?  Because face it, I'm that last one to
complain about a one night stand.   I mean, Alvin...," Jen said.
"and the time I wound up in the XXX universe and spent the afternoon
with Pizza Girl."
Vel coughed. "Can we talk about this later... preferably never."
"What?   I was simply experimenting."

He found one of the consoles that was still functioning and began
wiring his timeportation remote into it.   There were a few soft clicks
and the device was in place.

"Look people, no Dorfan ship has weapons like that.  Somebody must
supplying them with these new weapons," Starless said.
"We'll deal with that later," said Vel.  "Rerouting shield
power through science station one.  There that oughta take care of the

There was an enormous popping sound inside the cabin.

"I just moved us back in time 5000 years.  There won't be a dorfan
spacefleet for some time," Vel said.
"You messed with my ship," Starless said.
"I saved our lives," Vel said as he detached the remote.  "There
you happy now."
"Yeah, we're cool.   Just don't do it again," he said.
"I'll need to get us home," Vel said.
"Oh crud!" Starless said.


Sigmund Freud walked Mrs. Nesbit out to the door.  As he walked back
into the office the world filled with another soap bubble, which
quickly popped.  Dran was sitting quietly reading a book.

"Back from your smoke so fast, Doc?" Dran said.
"Yes... yes... continue," Freud said.  "Tell me about what
happened next."
"Well, then they decided to go swimming.  That was okay.  I'm
getting better.   I mean I've actually managed to get all the way to
the end of the diving board before turning around," Dran said.
"What does this fear suggest to you?"


The Good Ship Lollipop emerged from The Beyond Time and arrived in
ancient Dorfia.    Starless stared down at his console.    He turned to
Vel.   Vel's eyes were fixed to the large view screen.

"The capital city is..."
"Burning.  I know.  It's supposed to be," Vel said.  "The end
of the S'Chok dynasty was a rather violent time in Dorfan history.
They went through periods where they literally went through an imperial
family of the week.  The Laroques, The Wendis, the Eisners..."
"What?" Jen said.
"He's pulling your leg on that one," Nick said.  "Right?"
"Just take us in," Vel said.  "We're going in."

To Be Continued...

Sing Along Lass created by wReam.   Seductress and Clan LaRoque created
Martin Phipps.   Vel, Rod,  Dran and Nick Starless created Jesse N.
Willey.   Sigmund Freud belongs to the people of Austria.   This
document copyright Jesse N. Willey.

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