[BP/MISC] Pointless Posting Man #3

drtimphd at gmail.com drtimphd at gmail.com
Tue Feb 22 17:52:24 PST 2005

                               Boring Publications Presents...

                                 Pointless Posting Man #3

                                       By Tim Munn

	Pointless Posting Man looked out the window of the local library. The
elusive Post With A Point was no where near, as he made several
pointless posts to Usenet. He notice though, that the asisstant
librarian was hot, and decide that would be the Post With A Point.
Pointless Posting Man wevt to hotlibrarians.com. Unfortunately they had
no message board system. The Post With A Point would have to wait. His
time on the internet was up.

	Pointless Posting Man wandered back home. He plopped down in front of
the TV, turning it to a 'respectable' news network. On the network,
there was no good looking woman on, nor was there a man on. It was an
Alien. He was talking about peace, but what struck Pointless Posting
Man was his attire. He wore overalls, a light blue buttoned shirt, a
straw hat, and a beard tied around his head. It was bizarre.

	Pointless Posting Man once again found the Post With A Point. He
hurried to his computer, getting to Usenet in a flash. He was
disappointed, as it was all over Usenet. He decided to go to
alieninvestigators.com to see the goings on there. There message board
was down, due to high volume. He then tried alienhoaxes.net. The same
result was shown. This Alien Menace must be stopped! He once again
found the Post With A Point, and this time, he would post it.

	Pointless Posting Man went to stupidstories.com. The Post With A Point
was written in a flash. He'd made the Post With A Point! Now, all that
was left to do was watch the message board and watch the anti-alien
resistance grow! This was his greatest day ever. A few minutes later he
recieved a response from user sethhateschickens. Seth called Pointless
Posting Man's story 'the stupidest, gayest thing I've ever heard!'

	Pointless Posting Man slumped in his chair. Of all the responses he'd
ever gotten in his life, that was the worst. This was due to the fact
that it was his Post With A Point. He was about ready to log out when
he received another response. This one was from
xxx_covertalienwarrior_xxx. His message was weird. It said 'look behind

	Pointless Posting Man lokked to see if any aliens were there. He saw
about a dozen aliens dressed in the same manner. He screamed like a
girl. Pointless Posting Man quickly came to his senses after realizing
he didn't want to be anally probed. He ducked the first few aliens that
came after him, but could not resist all twelve.

	"Be like us! We wont harm you in any way. Just be like us!" The little
Amish Aliens said. Pointless Posting Man stopped resisting and let the
aliens lead him to their ship.

	Pointless Posting Man woke later, out in the middle of a cornfield. He
had on overalls, a light blue buttoned shirt, a straw hat, and a beard
tied around his head. He wreached to his head and took off the beard.
He'd hoped it had all been a dream, but it just wasn't his luck. He
noticed a cow grazing nearby, and the cow noticed him. Pointless
Posting Man smiled, and the cow mooed and walked towards him. The cow
sniffed at his hair several times and licked his face.

	The cow turned around, and let out a nasty fart. Pointless Posting Man
thought he would hurl at the stench. He turned around, and what he saw
was hideous. The cow spat out a little green alien from its anal
region. Laughter came from behind him. He turned to meet them.

	"Haha! Look what we did to Fred! He got wasted last night, and didn't
know what he was doing. We abducted the cow and inserted Fred anally!
It was so freaking hilarious!"

	"Yeah," another alien said. "We anally probed the cow using Fred!" All
the aliens laughed now. Pointless Posting Man did find it to be funny.
He joined in the laughter.

	"That isn't funny," Fred said, nearly crying.

	"Unfortunately for you Pointless Posting Man," the Lead Alien said
patting him on the shoulder, "that's our right of passage into manhood.
And seeing as how you've just joined our ranks, and being a man-"

	Pointless Posting Man cringed as the little green aliens lifted him up
in front of the rump end of the cow...

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