[BP/MISC] Pointless Posting Man #1
drtimphd at gmail.com
drtimphd at gmail.com
Mon Feb 21 12:53:12 PST 2005
Boring Publications Presents...
Pointless Posting Man #1
By Tim Munn
[WARNING: MAY CONTAIN ADULT CONTENT]
Stupidity was running rampant, as Pointless Posting Man perused Usenet.
He was baffled by this upheaval of stupidity. Canada, United States,
Great Britain, Australia. It was all over. Stupidity was winning the
war, and at a rapid pace. Pointless Posting Man thought to call on his
friends, the Defenders of Genius, to handle the problem. He dialed
their number, only to hear their secretary mumbling gibberish in the
background. Obviously she was stupid. If the Stupidity Menace could hit
the Defenders of Genius, who was next?
Well, Pointless Posting Man wasn't going to stick around and find out.
He quickly made several posts to newsgroups in a desperate plea for
help. He had one response, some kid telling him that saving the world
was 'gay'. Stupidity would hit the kid, and probably for the better.
After waiting several minutes, Pointless Posting Man traveled to the
message boards he was a part of. He wasn't taken too seriously over at
sideshowfreaks.com nor at canadiansarestupid.org. If he couldn't save
them, who could he save?
Pointless Posting Man soon found out after strolling back over to
Usenet. After looking at the post on a scientific newsgroup, he had
found the answer to the world's stupidity problem. Pointless Posting
Man had to go to Canada though. He wasn't too high on Canadians,
especially after the 'incident'. He had to find the world's foremost
expert on Stupidity, Obadiah Zeller. Not only was he a world reknowned
scientist, he was Amish as well.
Pointless Posting Man got a ticket to go to Canada, but decided to
drive when he decided not to fly so he could live to save the world. On
his way to Canada, Pointless Posting Man made several pointless posts
to Usenet and several message boards. When finally reaching Canada, he
met Dr. Obadiah Zeller at the border.
"Look at me! I'm stupid!" Dr. Zeller exclaimed.
Pointless Posting Man gave him an odd look. Momentarily he knew that
Dr. Zeller really was stupid. That was it then. The world as he knew it
was doomed to stupidity. Oh well, thought an oddly amused Pointless
Posting Man, at least I'll be the smartest man alive.
Author's Notes: I wrote this quickly last night. Its not meant to be
perfect. I created Pointless Posting Man to increase my number of
posts on a message board. I moved him here afterwards. Who knows if
there will be any more of this, I might continue with it, maybe not.
If so, the tales will end up like this: largely self-contained, quickly
written, pointless posting. ;)
Copyright 2/20/2005 Tim Munn
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