[LNH/RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies #11

[Jamie Rosen]

Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #14


"Hey," said anonymous RACC reader #3. "What happened to #13?"

"It's bad luck," said anonymous RACC reader #2.

"Hey guys," interrupted anonymous RACC reader #4, "what'd I miss?"

****

"I -- I can't betray the LNH!" Firewire said.

"You have no choice," intoned the Shoe Devil. "For you have already
signed the contract, and right here in section a, paragraph 3,
subsection delta, it says, and I quote: 'The undersigned does hereby
agree to betray the Legion of Net.Heroes.'"

"Nooooooooooooo!"

"Yes." And with that, the Shoe Devil vanished in a puff of shoe polish.

"Um, do you want to tell me how I'm supposed to betray the LNH?"
Firewire asked.

"I'll tell you later."

****

"What do you want?"

"I want to help you," said the Shoe Devil.

"What do you mean?"

"Aren't you tired of being overlooked?" the Shoe Devil asked. "Tired of
being forgotten about, of being ignored, of never getting credit for
your dialogue?"

"I -- I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, I think you do. I think you do. And I can make it all better."

"H-how?"

"It's very easy. And all I need from you is one tiny, little thing.
Something you'll never even miss."

"I -- I.... fine."

"An excellent choice." The Shoe Devil gestured broadly. "Goodbye,
Never-Gets-Credit-for-His-Dialogue Lad. Hello, Bluetooth!

****

Back on Real Life -1, Saxon Brenton scratched his head in puzzlement.
Had it all been a dream? The Grapety Purple Man -- the transformation
into Pointless Awards Man III -- the attempted murder -- had it all
been induced by that shrimp and crocodile pizza he'd had just after
midnight?

And if so... why did his shoes have no soles?

****

Pointless Awards Man II grimaced with every breath. He was alive, which
was good. But he'd been run through by a sword -- which was bad. Still,
he was up on his feet again, which was better than being dead. And he
was able to use the phone -- which he was doing right now.

"So then you'll do it?" he asked mysteriously.

"Well, it *is* highly unethical," answered the voice on the other end.
"And possibly illegal, but I can work around that. Yes, I'll do it."

"Excellent," PAM II said. "Sacrifice me for the greater good, will
they? We'll see about that! Little do those fools know, that the very
man they are counting on to save them -- shall be their undoing!"

On the other end of the phone, the Lethal Lawyer started the clock.
"You know this is going to cost you."

==============

WHO took Saxon Brenton's soles?
WHAT are Bluetooth's powers?
WHERE will the Shoe Devil strike next?
WHEN will the Lethal Lawyer be caught playing both sides?
WHY would I bring in a character mentioned only in a comment on a post
in another cascade?
and
HOW will the LNH defend themselves against accusations that the
intentionally risked the life of an innocent man when apparently all
they had to do was get the anti-virus companies to recognize this new
virus?

Er, that last one may be a little long.