[LNH2/ACRA] LNH Asia: The Week After Next #1 (of 4)
martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Mon Apr 25 11:08:58 PDT 2005
WARNING! This parody of a recent movie may be considred bad taste
given recent events. On the other hand, we're talking about a movie in
which Canada got wiped off the face of the map faster than the
Crossover Queen can blink.
LNH Asia: The Week After Next #1 (of 4)
The future. 2035. That's right, 2035. Com.bay, Ind.IO.
Professor Johnny Stomper addressed the International Symposium on
"My calculations show that the Pacific rim plate is dangerously
overstressed due to years of inactivity. We are past due for a major
earthquake or volcanic eruption. Indeed, I fear that we might be on
the verge of an eruption of the scale of the Toba Calde.racc eruption
that took place 75,000 years ago, the one that caused the the Ice Age."
One of the delegates raised his hand. "Excuse me, Doctor Stomper,
but I thought the Ice Age was caused due to the melting of the polar
ice cap resulting in a desalinization of the North Atlantic current."
Johnny Stomper nodded. "That is a popular misconception created as a
result of the movie 'The Day After Tomorrow'. The theory that global
warming could result in an ice age was not meant to suggest that this
is what actually caused the Ice Age as the movie implied. No, what
caused the Ice Age was the eruption of the Taba Calde.racc volcano
75,000 years ago."
"So what were they talking about in the movie about there being a
storm like the one in the movie 10,000 years ago?"
"The 10,000 years ago date would refer to the end of the Ice Age, a
time when melting ice would have caused the sea level to rise, a no
less catastrophic event than the beginning of the Ice Age, at least for
the people involved."
"Where are you getting your data?" another one of the delegates
"I'm only reporting what is commonly known," Johnny Stomper informed
him. "Thirty years ago there were a series of earthquakes and volcanic
eruptions in South East Asia but the region, indeed the entire Pacific
Rim, has been quiet since then."
"So you can't state with any certainty when an earthquake or volcanic
eruption will occur?"
"No, of course not."
"So what use is this presentation of yours if you can't even tell us
when these events are expected to happen."
Johnny Stomper sighed. "An earthquake could happen today, next week,
next year or sometime in the next hundred years. But the longer we go
without a major earthquake, the more potentially destructive the
earthquake may turn out to be: earthquakes relieve stress on the
plates. Until the stress is reduced, it just continues to build and
build. We could be talking about an earthquake that could kill
millions of people just from the initial shock and then continue to
cause damage and loss of life from repeated after shocks."
"You're creating sensationalism! This is supposed to be a scientific
Johnny Stomper cringed. "Well, I'm sorry, but if you know your
history then you know that entire civilizations have been wiped out by
earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. That's pretty sensational."
"Lao po! Ni you shi ma?"
>>I'm alright, my husband. Did you feel that?<<
>>Yes, my wife. It was an earthquake.<<
>>You check the Central Weather Service. You find out where the
>>Okay. Just a minute. The internet is slow.<<
>>It felt like a two.<<
>>Here. Yeah. A two.<<
>>Where was the epicenter?<<
>>Off the coast of I-lan.<<
>>What? That's on the other side of the country!<<
"Oh my God."
>>It was a ten at the epicenter.<<
C.bu, the Philippi.net,
"In addition to the devastation in Tai1, much of Southern J at pan and
Ko.rec has been devastated by tsumanis," Deja Dude II said. "LNH Asia
has been called in to help with the disaster relief."
"What about the Newer Mutants?" Nimbo asked. "Are they not going to
Deja Dude II shook his head. "Earthquakes struck the island of
Sumat.racc, Indo.net.sia almost simultaneously. The Newer Mutants are
heading over there because it is closer and the people there are no
less in need."
"You know," Intuition Girl said, "I just saw on NNN and they're
worried about the San And.rec.as fault. They're looking at what's
going on here in East Asia and wondering if they might also be due for
a big one."
Utraman looked puzzled. "You say that as if there were some sort of
connection. Califor.net.a is on the other side of the Pacific
thousands of miles away!"
"They are connected," an old, tired Deja Dude Senior said. "J at pan,
Tai1, the Philippi.net, Indo.net.sia, the Lan.dies, Califor.net.a,
Alt.laska, Sibe.rec.a they're all part of the Pacific Ring of fire: the
volcanoes all around the Pacific Rim are the result of the Asian
tectonic plates on one side and the American tectonic plates on the
other both pressing against the Pacific plate."
"Vocanoes?" Utraman asked. "But these are earthquakes."
"The same tectonic plates that are responsible for the earthquakes
also produce volcanoes. Indeed, sometimes a severe earthquake can
trigger a volcanic eruption. This might not be over yet."
"What do you mean?" N asked. "These earthquakes have already
relieved the pressure on the Pacific and Asian plates, haven't they?"
"It depends how much pressure had built up over the past thirty years
or so. These earthquakes may turn out to be nothing but murmurs
compared to what may be coming next."
TO BE CONTINUED!
Johnny Stomper created by Josh Geurick.
Everybody else is mine.
More information about the racc