[LNH/?] Onion Lad #2

[cabbagewielder at yahoo.com]

Dear Terri,

      Sorry it's been so for since I've written.  I was supposed to
write as soon as I to Net.tropolis.  I'm a member of the LNH now.  It
is kind of busy.   I've done lots of things.

	For one thing, I helped the team out when some the LNHers were turned
into a sheep.   I played a real big important roll then.

	________________________________

	"Ultimate Ninja, get back here..."
	"Bah... bah...."
	"I gotcha!"
	"Bah... bah..."
	"Ultimate Ninja.  Don't kick me.   Stop that!  Ow!  Ow!  " Onion
Lad shouted.

	_______________________________

	Then I had a chance to work with Easily Discovered Man.   That was
fun.   But I'm not going to say much more about.   Oh and I almost
single handedly  beat up Doctor Killfile.

	_______________________________

	"Fred, I know we needed to make Doctor Killfile cry as a
distraction, but I can't believe you cut me like that!" Onion Lad
said.
	"It was for the good of the world," Fred said.
	"I make people cry with telepathy.  I'm not actually an onion.
It's a common misconception," Onion Lad whined.
	"Don't worry it.  It's only a flesh wound.  This was Doctor
Killfile. I've seen men loose fingers in battles with lesser men,"
Vel said.
	"That's easy for you to say.  You're a dorf," said Onion Lad.
	"Half-Dorf.  It's a common misconception," Vel said.

	__________________________

	Around that same time I sort of helped out an LNH subgroup on their
irrelevant journey of sorts.   That wasn't much fun.

	Then during Flame Wars VI, when most heroes were doing all sorts of
things I had the hardest job of all.  Keeping track of pie orders for
over seven hundred Legion members and their counterparts for half a
million different realities.  I did a very good job of it too.

	_________________________

	"At'swhay ouryay  oblempray, ya oronmay!" shouted an LNHer.
	"You ordered a chicken pot pie, Deja Dude," Onion Lad said.
	"Onay, I orderay ocoltateChay oosemay... anday Iay amay Ejaday
udeday ...." The Lnher.
	"Damn piglatinversers," shuttered Master Blaster.
	_________________________

 	Then after all was said and done, there were a few pieces of other
worlds left behind.   Being the loyal and dedicated LNHer I volunteered
to help.

	_________________________

	"Clean every bit of the outside!" Ultimate Ninja shouted.
	"Why do I have to do it?" Onion Lad asked.
	"Why?  You let the LNH Babies play in the Peril Room and you wonder
why?" Ultimate Ninja said.

	_________________________

	Of course, when I cleaned the Teacher Legion sign off the front of the
building nothing happened.  It was the easiest job I've had since
getting here.  It was really really easy.

	_________________________

	"Why is the sign glowing?" Onion Lad said.  "Wait it looks like
someone is coming out."
	"It is so good to be out of there," said the guy from the hole.
	"Who are you?" Onion Lad said.
	"Me?  I'm Hot Dog Man.  I'm a super hero," he said.
	"You look mildly familiar," Onion Lad said.
	"I get that a lot," said Hot Dog Man.
	"Well, see ya around," said Onion Lad.

	_________________________

	I've become friends with Vel.  Yeah, the half dorf guy.   He seems
fierce but he's a pretty nice guy.   Nevere complains when I screw up
in the kitchen.

	_________________________

	"Oniiiiiioooooon Laaaad!   Why is there a nose a in my soup?   This
is the LNH cafeteria, not a Wendy's," Vel yelled.
	"Well, at least I don't get all my news from Jay Leno," Onion
Lad replied.
	"That's not true.... I watch The Daily Show too," Vel responded.


          _________________________

	I've been so important that Ultimate Ninja assigned me my own
sidekick.  You'll never guess who it is.   World famous silent
cartoon star, Peelix the Cat.   We used to watch his shorts all the
time on that local children's show all the time.

	_________________________

	 "Wait a minute, Ultimate Ninja?   I have to monitor this bum?
I'm a star I tell you!  You remember when Paris Hilton's telephone
list got out?  My number was on the list... in the dirty section!"
Peelix yelled.
	"Yeah, well, now you wanted to join the LNH.  This is your job,"
Ultimate Ninja replied.  "So go do it."
	"Fine... but I don't clean up after him," Peelix said.
	"Done."

	_________________________

	So all in all, I'm life is very good.   Adventure is around every
corner, so I don't know when I'll write again.   Hopefully I'll
see you again soon.

		Sincerely,
		Charles 'Onion Lad' Fredericks

	___________________________________________________
	This has been...
	Onion Lad #2
	Letters Home
   	Text by Jesse N. Willey
	Based in part on Mutton Mania by a cast of thousands,  The Team #47
and #48 by Jesse N. Willey, Flame Wars VI by Martin Phipps and Jesse
Willey.
	Onion Lad created by Tom Russell and Dane Martin.  Deja Dude and
Master Blaster created by Martin Phipps.  Hot Dog Man created by Dane
Martin.   Ultimate Ninja created by wReam.  Peelix the Cat created by
Tom Russell.  Doctor Killfile and Fred are public domain.  Vel created
by Jesse N. Willey. This document copyright 2005, Jesse N. Willey

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