LNHY: THE LNH Y CHARACTER ROSTER (updated)

Arspitzer arspitzer at aol.com
Wed Nov 10 16:08:27 PST 2004


Updated since last time

For more info about LNHY:  http://tinyurl.com/689xr

                    THE LNH Y CHARACTER ROSTER

                           version 1.01


Last updated November 10, 2004
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THE HEROES:

MEMBERS OF THE LNH:

(All members of the LNH in Looniverse Y are either usable without 
permission or public domain.)


NAME:  Exclamation!Master!
  CREATED BY:  Saxon Brenton (saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission


NAME:  Kid Kicked-Out
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  SECRET IDENTITY: Greeve Gaines (Not to be confused with Greef Graves)
  POWERS:  Kid Kicked-Out has the ability to be kicked-out of superhero 
groups which he's done quite a lot in his career.  Some of the superhero 
groups he's been kicked-out of are Teen Fascists, Before God Guys, 
Desperately Desperate Desperadoes, and the World's Worst Heroes.  He 
also has the ability to be kicked-out of class, out of dimensions, bars, 
the army, churches, prison, you name it.  If its a place, thing, or 
concept that you can be kicked-out of or kicked-off of he can be and 
will be.  He's also invunerable to any physical injury (although he 
feels the pain and is more sensitive to it than the average person).
  ADD NOTES:  He's currently the leader of the LNH.
  APPEARANCE:  He has a black and blue colored costume with a 'shoe 
print' for an icon on his chest and his back.
  ENEMIES:  Boot-Head, Baron Buttkicker, Miss Take-In
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1


NAME:  Van Hel.sig
  CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  SECRET IDENTITY:  Gabriel Van Hel.sig
  POWERS:  None.
  ADD NOTES:  Uses a variety of archaic weapons to kill daemons and 
vampires.
  APPEARANCE:  Has long wavy hair.  Looks like he needs a shave and a bath.  
Wears Victorian era clothing, a big overcoat and a big hat.
  ENEMIES:  Swell Boy (who isn't evil but who happens to be a daemon so Van 
Hel.sig is always trying to hunt him down and kill him) and other daemons
  FIRST ISSUE:  (mentioned) Teen Fascists #1


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OTHER HEROES:

NAME:  The Before God Guys
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  ADD NOTES:  Before there was Superman.  Before the Roman Empire.  
Before the dinosaurs.  Before Jesse Helms.  Before God created the 
Universe.  Before God was even born.  They were there.  Fighting the 
Good Fight.  Saving non-existence from itself.  And even back then, they 
were really, really old.  They fly around in a Petrified Plane.

  *NAME:  The Cheapest Skate
    POWERS:  Even though he has saved over a zillion dollars in his very 
long existence, he's too cheap to spend any of it.  This miser has a 
superfast rollerskate that goes up to the speed of light.  But he only 
has one.  He was too cheap to buy a second one.
  *NAME:  Dentures Dan
    POWERS:  He has the Looniverse's most powerful set of dentures.  It 
can eat through any material.
  *NAME:  Doctor I. Forget
    POWERS:  He's the Before God Guy's resident genius.  He's always 
forgeting what he's talking about.
  *NAME:  The Geezer Gorilla
    POWERS:  He's a talking Gorilla who's a geezer.
  *NAME:  The Perpetual Virgin
    POWERS:  He wears mystical underwear that prevents him from aging, 
makes him invulnerable to harm, and gives him incredible powers.  
Unfortunately the underwear is unremovable, so he's never gotten laid.
  *NAME:  The Wrinkly Old Bag
    POWERS:  This very wrinkly old.. um.. lady has this very wrinkly old 
bag that she can use to cause wrinkles in time and space.  She also 
likes to hit people with it.  And let me tell you.  It really hurts.

  ENEMIES:  Loud music.  Kids.  Taxes.


NAME:  The Deadly Serious Squad
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  ADD NOTES: The Deadly Serious Squad is deadly serious about being 
deadly serious.  They're on a mission to advance the superhero genre.  
They don't wear costumes.  They wear business suits.  They don't have 
code names or superpowers.  And they don't fight supervillains.  They 
fight 'real' people.  They're good at hand to hand combat and the 
martial arts.  They're thinking about relocating to No-Joke City because 
they're finding Net.ropolis Y a bit too silly.

  *NAME:  Major Lee Serious
    ADD NOTES:  He's the leader of the team.  He's a former major in the 
army and is good at military strategy.
  *NAME:  Barry Serious
    ADD NOTES:  He's Lee's kid brother.  He's good with computers.
  *NAME:  Bea Serious
    ADD NOTES:  She's Lee's kid sister.  She's good with weapons.
  *NAME:  Noah Joe King
    ADD NOTES:  He's the token black guy on the team.
  *NAME:  General Lee "Dead" Serious
    ADD NOTES:  He's Lee's dad and the founder of the Deadly Serious 
Squad.  He gets his nick-name from the fact that he's dead.

  ENEMIES:  Terrorists, Drug Lords, Banjo Dueling Kangaroos


NAME:  Desperately Desperate Desperadoes
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain (Team concept not characters)
  ADD NOTES:  These guys are really desperate for anyone to join their 
superhero group.  So desperate they'll paint your house, baby-sit your 
kids, mow your lawn.  You name it.  They'll do it.  They stalk the 
houses of ex-members.

  *NAME:  Wish-I-Were-Dead Man (deceased)
    ADD NOTES:  Accidentally killed by Kid Kicked-Out


NAME:  Flaming Mutton
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  The ability to burn anyone who attempts to enter the Garden 
of Party Time.
  ADD NOTES:  She was originally known as Lambsy the Lamb, but was 
rewarded by God for telling the truth about what happened in the Vending 
Machine of No-Free-Lunches incident by being turned into Flaming Mutton.  
She now guards the Garden of Party Time.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Short-Short Story #17


NAME:  God
  CREATED BY:  ??????
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  He can do anything he wants.  He's more powerful than any 
other person or thing in Looniverse Y.
  ADD NOTES:  The Before God Guys found a baby on their doorstop and 
called him God and raised him.  God eventually created Looniverse Y and 
planet T-Bone.  On planet T-Bone he created the Garden of Party Time 
which he filled with animals, sentient clothing, and vending machines.  
He created the characters Gotta-Luv-Me Lad, Exciting Leather Strap-on 
Lass, and Knows-How-to-Please-Her-Man Girl and eventually kicked each 
one of them out of it.
     He has a great fear of tall buildings.
  APPEARANCE:  He's naked most of the time.  He has a white beard.  And 
two noses.  And very big breasts.
  ENEMIES:  Anyone who doesn't worship him.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Paragraph #1


NAME:  Greef Graves (not to be confused with Greeve Gaines)
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  You may refer to this character.  You may have your characters 
say they have met him.  But you cannot prove that he exists or doesn't 
exist.
  POWERS:  No one knows.  Perhaps its the power to make it impossible 
for anyone to prove he doesn't or does exist.
  ADD NOTES:  Every superhero has claimed to have met him.  Every 
supervillain has claimed to have battled him.  Every innocent bystander 
has claimed to have been rescued by him.  Every woman has claimed to 
have slept with him.  But no one can prove he exists.  He leaves no 
footprints or fingerprints.  No one knows his age, his race, his 
religion, his politics, his nationality, his sexual orientation, or even 
his gender (or even his species).  The only thing he leaves when he goes 
through an oppressed land is freedom and a song in the peoples hearts.  
(That song being John Lennon's Imagine).  He's like some cross between 
Gandhi, Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Elvis Presley, and Pocahontas.  Some 
conspiracy theorists speculate that he might really be a very clever 
supervillain who's using these good deeds to give the world a false 
sense of security so they fall into his evil hands.
  ENEMIES:  Those that would prey on the weak and defenseless.


NAME:  Teen Fascists
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain (Team concept not characters)
  ADD NOTES:  This is a group of fine clean-cut civic minded young 
people who will do whatever it takes to make the world a more orderly 
place.  They won't let pesky things like the Bill of Rights or the 
Constitution get in the way of justice.  And they will make sure the 
trains run on time.

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
*Unification Man, the leader of the Teen
Fascists, dedicated to the ideals of truth, justice,
liberty and the belief in God, all of which were
fundamental principles held by our founding fathers!

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  *Militia Man, who's job it is to supply us with arms
and, at the same time, see to it that similar weapons
don't make it into the hands of our devil worshipping
enemies!

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  *Search and Seizure, twin girls with the uncanny
ability to not only break into a person's home but
find devil worshipping paraphernalia in it (or plant
it, if necessary, in cases where no real evidence
exists but we can just tell who the devil worsphippers
are!)

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  *Double Jeopardy, an expert young investigator who
specializes in cases where people who we _knew_ were
devil worshippers somehow managed to escape justice
the first time around!

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  *The Detender, a superhumanly strong
nigh-invulnerable teen who is the groups token big
guy.

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  *Judge, an empath with an uncanny sense about
people.  Like I said, we _know_ who the devil
worshippers are.

CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
              and Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  *Cruel and Unusual, twin brothers with amazing
abilities in both armed and unarmed combat!

  ENEMIES:  The ACLU, SAGneto, and anything not approved by
    right-wing talk radio.


NAME:  World's Worst Heroes
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain (Team concept not characters)
  ADD NOTES:  The name says it all.


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THE VILLAINS:

THE SYSTEM CORRUPTERS:

(All members of the System Corrupters in Looniverse Y are either usable 
without permission or public domain.)


NAME:  SAGneto
  CREATED BY:  Martin Phipps (martinphipps2 at yahoo.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  SECRET IDENTITY: (stage name) Eric Murdock
  POWERS:  Unknown.
  ADD NOTES:  He's currently the leader of the Screen Actor's Guild.
  APPEARANCE:  He wears a red suit with a red cape and a red metal helmet 
with horns.
  ALLIES: The Baldwin Brothers (Alec, Billy, Stephen
and Daniel) and Michael Moore
  ENEMIES:  The Teen Fascists
  FIRST ISSUE:  Teen Fascists #1


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THE OTHER VILLAINS:


NAME:  The Banjo Dueling Kangaroos (Ben and Joe)
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  POWERS:  They've got banjos.  And they know how to use them.
  ADD NOTES:  They are the enemies of fine art and great literature.  
They seek to destroy any serious attempt to elevate the superhero genre 
with their absurd silliness and banjo duels.  They particularly like to 
harrass the Deadly Serious Squad.
APPEARANCE:  They wear straw-hats and nothing else.

NAME:  The Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Ask for permission first
  POWERS:  No one knows.
  ADD NOTES:  Do you know what evil is?  Do you know what heart 
stopping, baby eating, kitten juggling evil is?  Until you've met the 
The Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man you'll never truely know the meaning of 
the word 'evil'.  He is the darkness in our hearts.  He's the sound 
outside that we're to scared to check on.  Parents like to warn their 
children that if they don't eat their veggies or if they don't behave, 
the Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man will get them.  (There is no proof that 
the Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man bases his victim list on whether or not 
someone ate their veggies or if they they misbehaved).  He likes a good 
Banana Daiquiri.  He's a large man that is obscured in shadows.
  ENEMIES:  All that is good and decent.
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1

NAME:  Exciting Leather Strap-on Lass
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Ask for permission first
  ADD NOTES:  She was Gotta-Luv-Me Lad's first girlfriend made from his 
second nose.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Short-Short Story #5


NAME:  Madam Middle Finger
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  She likes to give people the finger.  And she's really big.
  ADD NOTES:  She's a giant female that rides shotgun with the Road 
Rager.  It's not quite clear what the exact relationship between them 
is.  Are they lovers, related, or just good friends?  Or perhaps she's a 
hitchhiker.  She rides in a gigantic SUV and likes to shout profanity.  
She was created by Master Root of All Evil. Please feel free to kill 
this character off.
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1


NAME:  Master Root of All Evil
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  SECRET IDENTITY:  Barry M. O'Roll
  POWERS:  He has the ability to think of any supervillains and make 
them exist.  Sometimes the supervillains have weapons or vehicles.  The 
supervillains usually have their own retconned histories and most of the 
time are not aware that he created them.
  ADD NOTES:  His dad was a Satanic Televangelist.  And his mom was a 
Pantomime Instructor.  He has a birth mark that spells 'EVIL' right on 
the back of his neck.  When he was six years-old, he lost all of his 
hair.  By the age of ten, he had grown a goatee.  When he was in college 
he tried to get an orange soda from a vending machine, but instead 
recieved a root beer.  The Rootbeer of All Evil.  Drinking the rootbeer 
he became Master Root of All Evil.  There was a time for a couple of 
years that he reformed and didn't use his powers, but Looniverse Y #1 
showed him creating The Road Rager and Madam Middle Finger going back to 
his evil ways.  He's good friends with Kid Kicked-Out and knows Kid 
Kicked-Out's secret identity.  And Kid Kicked-Out like wise knows his 
secret id.
  APPEARANCE:  He wears this brown costume and has a utility built with 
different types of roots.  Carrots, Parsnips, Turnips, if it's a root he 
has it.  He uses them as weapons.


NAME:  Mysterious Shadowy Messing-with-Destiny Dude
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  POWERS:  He can mess with people's destiny.  He also has access to a 
lot of weird items.
  ADD NOTES:  He's a mercenary that works for anyone that can pay his 
price.  He's been to many alternate universes. The Banana Daiquiri-
Drinking Man paid him to give an LNH briefcase to Greef Graves, but 
instead he gave it to Kid Kicked-Out.
  APPEARANCE:  Wears a black trenchcoat and black hat.
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1


NAME:  The Road Rager
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  He's a big giant with a big gun.
  ADD NOTES:  He's a giant who drives a very big SUV.  He's also in a 
very big hurry to get to places and really hates drivers who are too 
slow.  He likes to shoot drivers who are in his way with his Traffic 
Management Gun which is the size of a tank.  He also likes to honk his 
horn.  He's currently riding with some gal named Madam Middle Finger. He 
was created by Master Root of All Evil. Please feel free to kill this 
character off.
  ENEMIES:  Cars, Pedestrians, Anyone that's in shooting distance.
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1


NAME:  Roster Leech
CREATED BY:  ????????? (????????@????.com)
TYPE:  ???????
POWERS:  The ability to never get used in a story.  And also the ability 
to remain on a Character Roster List without worring about ever being 
deleted from it even though it never appears in any stories.
ENEMIES:  People who hate wasted bandwith.


NAME:  The Wondersock
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Usable Without Permission
  POWERS:  The ability to possess people when they put him on their 
foot.
  ADD NOTES:  He tempted Knows-How-to-Please-Her-Man Girl into eating 
from the Vending Machine of No-Free-Lunches.  For this crime God 
punished him and all socks by forcing them to be worn on human feet.  
Currently he's the Lord of the Anti-Party Time Zone.
  ENEMIES:  God and Human Feet.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Short-Short Story #11


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THE WILDCARDS:


NAME:  Dr. Idius O'Stupid Agottawork
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  He's the biggest expert in the field of Stupidology.  He's 
very good at thinking of ideas that are so stupid they will probably 
work.
  FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #1


NAME:  Gotta-Luv-Me Lad
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Ask for permission first
  POWERS:  The ability to make readers love him.
  ADD NOTES:  Created by God, Gotta-Luv-Me Lad was the first human being 
and the father of mankind on Planet T-Bone.
 FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Paragraph #2


NAME:  Knows-How-to-Please-Her-Man Girl
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Ask for permission first
  POWERS:  The ability to please her man.
  ADD NOTES:  She was Gotta-Luv-Me Lad's second girlfriend made from his 
melon-sized breasts.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Short-Short Story #7


NAME:  St. wReavenger Van Saxdrippseel McHuberyike III
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  ADD NOTES:  He (or She) wrote the 'Everything You Always Wanted To 
Know About The LNH, But Were Afraid To Ask' manual.


NAME:  Ted the Time-traveling Atheist
  CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
  TYPE:  Public Domain
  POWERS:  Has time traveling powers
  ADD NOTES:  He went back in time and met Gotta-Luv-Me Lad and Knows-
How-to-Please-Her-Man Girl in the Garden of Party Time.
  FIRST ISSUE:  The Daily Super Short-Short Story #8


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