[LNH2] Generation Zed, the New Class #8

[Martin Phipps]

              Generation Zed, the New Class #8

                  The Mirror Cracked Part 4 of 4

2019.  The future.  LNH HQ.

  Four LNHers sat around the conference table in the Central Control Centre 
of LNH HQ.
  "How bad is it?" Captain Continuity asked Mr. Clean.
  "Every few minutes we seem to have another Oddball LNHer apear in LNH HQ."
  "Oh God."
  "But we also have some of them spontaneously disappear, presumably back to 
their own Looniverse."
  "It's just like before when Particle Man first visited the Oddball 
Looniverse," Insomiac 5 added.  "We had Oddball LNHers like Cig.Lad, Liable 
Lad, Easily-Dejected Man and Lipid-Artery Lad spontaneously appear in our 
Looniverse for months after the initial crossover.  Then they'd just go back 
home."
  "Yes, but we've had nothing of this order of transfer before," Johnny 
Stomper pointed out.  "Not since Flame Wars VI anyway.  It's as if the 
barriers between the Oddball Looniverse and our own were breaking down."
  "What do you suggest we do?" Captain Continuity asked.
  "I've already contacted Occultism Kid.  He says that he can place a spell 
on LNH HQ to prevent any more of these Oddball LNHers from crossing over."
  "Part of the problem is that LNH HQ is a nexus of realities," Insomniac 5 
explained.  "That's why there have been so many LNHers who have come over 
from other dimensions and realities, you know like No Sense of Direction Man 
or the Misfits."
  "That's true," Johnny Stomper said, "but there comes a point where you 
don't want people crossing over between realities all the time.  Nor do you 
necessarily want to be the one to cross over.  I mean, imagine you are 
watching the Toon.net Show with Jay Leno, you go to the bathroom and when 
you come out its not Jay Leno but Gay Leno."  Johnny shuddered.  "Not that 
there's anything wrong with that."
  "Did that actually happen to you?"
  Johnny nodded his head.  "And on the other channel Letter.man was coming 
on to Richard Simmons.  It was really creepy!  So I turned the TV off and 
went to bed and everything was back to normal the next morning.  Thank God."
  Insomniac 5 sighed.  "Anyway, Johnny's right.  It's too much of an 
inconvenience having people pop back and forth between realities like this.  
If Occultism Kid can help us out then I am all for it."
  "What Oddball LNHers have crossed over so far?" Captain Continuity asked.
  "Well," Mr. Clean said, "first there was wReamHock, an always high, pot 
smoking version of wReamHack..."
  "You mean wReamHack is _not_ on drugs?" Insomniac 5 asked, jokingly.
  "Then we had Captain Discontinuity come over.  He didn't seem to know 
where he was but that turns out to be one of his 'powers'.  My counterpart, 
Squeaky Chair, was here for a while and I had to re-oil all the desk chairs 
in the building to get rid of the noise..."
  "Just give us a list of names," Captain Continuity requested.
  "Okay.  Bad Rhyming Man.  Maniac 5.  Moose.   Easily-Dejected Man Lite.  
Orgasmic Girl.  Compost Beltch Lad.  Fun Girl."
  "Orgasmic Girl?  Fun Girl?" Insomniac 5 asked, interrupting.  "Is this the 
Oddball Looniverse or the XXX Looniverse?"
  "Actually in the XXX Looniverse, there doesn't seem to be anybody around 
under 18," Johnny Stomper explained.  "Actually it is not clear where the 
children would come from anyway, because nobody ever seems to get pregnant 
or even worry about getting pregnant."  Everybody looked at Johnny Stomper.  
"What?  Why are are looking at me like that?"
  "Go on," Captain Continuity told Mr. Clean.
  "Actually that's about it.  There may have been others but because the 
Oddball LNHers resemble our own then we don't always know an Oddball LNHer 
when we see them and then a couple of hours later they are gone anyway."
  Just then, Occultism Kid entered the room from the lobby.  "I came as soon 
as I could," he said.
  "Yes, Johnny said you were coming," Captain Continuity said.  "Can you 
perform the spell?"
  "I can perform the spell right now!" Occultism Kid said.  "If that's what 
you want?"
  "Absolutely!"
  Occultism Kid concentrated as he softly spoke the words to the spell that 
would re-enforce the barriers between dimensions and prevent people from 
spontaneously passing back and forth between the different Looniverses.
  "It is done!" Occultism Kid said.
  "That was it?" Johnny Stomper asked.
  "Yes.  You won't have any more problems!" Occultism Kid promised.
  "Thanks a lot!" Captain Continuity said.
  "No problem!  Bye!"  Occultism Kid wrapped himself in his cloak and 
disappeared.
  "I thought it would have taken longer than that," Johnny Stomper said.  "I 
mean I was expecting this story to be stretched out to fill the entire 
issue."
  Captain Continuity shrugged his shoulders.  "I guess we'll just have to 
have some sort of epilogue to pad the rest of the issue!"

Epilogue

  Meanwhile, in the Mirror Looniverse, Lagneto was flying down to LNH HQ in 
the now liberated Net.ropolis.  Deja Dude, Deja Dude II, Utraman, Moonfire, 
Nimbo, N, Yin, Yang, Acraphobe, Lava, Tremor and Sonic stood in front of the 
building with hundreds of dead Kirbytroopers lying at their feet.
  "Contratulations everybody!" Lagneto said.  "You have achieved a major 
victory for humanity."  He saw Deja Dude and offered his hand.  "And I 
couldn't have done it without you!"
  Deja Dude and Lagneto shook hands.  "Do not be so modest," he said.  
"Without your inspiration, nothing would have been achieved."  Deja Dude did 
not let go of Lagneto's hand.  Instead, he concentrated and accessed a power 
of his few knew about, namely the ability to drain another's life energy!  
In an instant, Deja Dude drained all of the life out of the elderly net.hero 
known as Lagneto.  Lagneto dropped to the ground as if he had had a heart 
attack.
  "Lagneto?  What's wrong?" Deja Dude asked, innocently.
  Deja Dude's friends and teamates crowded around.
  "I think he's dead!" N said.  "For real this time!"
  "At least he lived to see his dream fulfilled," Deja Dude said wistfully.  
"Mankind can now go on to live free!"
  "Father!" Deja Dude II said.  "You cannot allow mankind to drift into 
anarchy!"
  "He's right!" Utraman said.  "They need a strong leader to show them the 
way!"
  "For years they've known nothing but the rule of the Ultimate Emperor!" N 
reasoned.  "If they are left without someone to guide them they will be 
lost!"
  "The world might fall into some kind of great war without someone to 
decide things for them," Moonfire added.
  Deja Dude sighed deeply.  "You are right.  While I accept this burden with 
great reluctance, I see  no choice but to appoint myself as Deja the First, 
President of Free Looniearth!"
  "I like the sound of that!" Nimbo said, proud of what she had helped 
accomplish.
  Her fellow Newer Mutants began to chant.  "ALL HAIL DEJA THE FIRST!  ALL 
HAIL DEJA THE FIRST!"
  Deja Dude's face looked strained as if he was worried about taking on such 
a great responsibility.  Inside, however, he was smiling.  No, more than 
that, he was laughing.  Laughing at the gullibility of his own children who 
themselves did not realise that they had helped him to stage what amounted 
to a coup d'etat against his former teammates and set himself up as the new 
emperor, albiet with a more democratic sounding title.
  "First we need to clean up this mess!" Deja Dude said.  "Then we can think 
of what we can do to make everyone's lives better!"  He couldn't help but 
crack a smile when he said that.

                                                           THE END

wReamHock and the Oddball LNH created by Jameel al-Khafiz and Ken Schmidt.
Cig.Lad created by Dave Van Domelan.
Liable Lad created by Mike Escutia.
Easily-Dejected Man created by Rob Rogers.
Lipid-Artery Lad created by Saxon Brenton.
Captain Continuity created by Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes and Robert "Mystic
Mongoose" Armstrong.
Mr. Clean, the future version of Squeaky Clean, created by Ken Schmidt.
Insomniac 5 is Insomnia Boy, created by Steve Husty.
Johnny Stomper and Occultism Kid created by Josh Geurink.
Deja Dude, Deja Dude II, Utraman, Moonfire, Nimbo, N, Yin, Yang, Acraphobe, 
Lava, Tremor and Sonic created by me.
Lagneto created by Jef Kolodziej

Martin

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