[LNH2] Generation Zed, the New Class #7

Martin Phipps phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sat Jun 19 03:38:24 PDT 2004

                Generation Zed, the New Class #7

                   The Mirror Cracked Part 3 of 4

2019.  The future.  LNH HQ.

  "How is this 'all your fault'?" Irony Boy asked  Cheesecake Eater Lass.
  "We were looking at this alternative time line using the time portation 
machine," she explained.  "That's how they came over."
  "You brought an alt.version of LNH Asia over from an alternative 
timeline?" Irony Boy asked.
  "Maybe it wasn't our fault," SoWhat said.  "Maybe their Deja Dude II just 
sent them over here on a purely coincidental basis.  You know, while we were 
watching them.  You think?"
  "You are all going to die!" Whining Girl said.
  "You're not going to die!" Irony Boy said.  "If this is just some 
misunderstanding then I am sure it will get cleared up and nobody will get 
hurt.  I promise."

  By the year 2019, most of the LNHers that had been active during the 
nineties had already retired leaving the LNH to be populated mostly by their 
sidekicks (Squeaky Clean, Insomniac 5, Mouse, Easily Discovered Man Lite, 
Onion Man...) and children (Organic Girl, Sarcastic Boy, Penultimate Ninja, 
Skateboard Repair Lass, VAMMO Girl...) and other young heroes (Captain 
Continuity, Johnny Stomper, Morgan Le Fab, wReamHack, Composite Sketch 
Lad...).  Some of the older net.heroes such as Irony Man were called upon in 
an emergency and others, like Ultimate Ninja who had officially retired from 
net.heroing long ago, were always close at hand and ready to take over in a 
situation like this.
  "Seductress!" Ultimate Ninja cried out to the young net.heroine.  "Use 
your powers on the Newer Mutants!  Keep them off balance!"
  Seductress, formally Jailbait, used her ability to negate gravity to cause 
Yin, Yang, Acraphobe, Lava, Tremor, Nimbo and N to rise up in the air.  It 
was a good strategy: Yin, Yang, Nimbo and N were immediately unable to fight 
and Lava and Tremor could not create volcanoes or earthqukes if their feet 
weren't touching the ground.
  "I can't do anoything about the others!" Seductress said.  "They can fly!"
  "Don't worry about Sonic!" VAMMO Girl said.  "I know how her powers work 
and I have the right weapon to defeat her!"  VAMMO Girl had inherited her 
father's ability to cause weapons to appear at will but not her father's 
obsession with size: the small sonic disruptors that appeared in VAMMO 
Girl's hands not only rendered Sonic unconscious but also knocked out most 
of the rest of the Newer Mutants.
  With the Newer Mutants defeated so easily, it seemed as though the LNH 
might have won hands down, except that they still had to deal with Deja Dude 
II, Utraman and Moonfire.  Captain Continity hoped he could negotiate.  
"Michael, what is this all about?" he asked.
  "You dare ask?" Deja Dude II asked.
  "What is that supposed to mean?"
  "He's not our Michael," Irony Boy explained.  "He's the Deja Dude II from 
some other time line.  Cheesecake Eater Lass was observing them using the 
time portation device before they came through."
  "That is a lie!" Deja Dude II said.
  "How can you serve the Ultimate Emperor when he was the one who killed 
your Uncle Toony?" Utraman asked.
  "Ultimate Emperor?" Captain Continuity said, perplexed.
  "Are you by any chance refering to me?" Irony Man asked, having just 
arrived on the scene.
  "It's a trick!" Moonfire said.
  "You can't be Toony Stork," Deja Dude II said.  "He's dead!"
  "I can assure you I am!"
  "Prove it!" Utraman said.  "Take off your helmet and show us!"
  "Don't do it!" Ultimate Ninja said.  "We have them outnumbered two to one! 
  We are winning!  Don't leave yourself vulnerable!"
  "Ah!  The Ultimate Emperor shows his face!" Deja Dude II said of the 
masked net.hero.  "Or so to speak."
  "There's been some misunderstanding here!" Irony Boy said.  "They seem to 
think that you're the Ultimate Emperor from some time line in which the LNH 
took over the world!  They think we're evil and that we need to be stopped.  
If we can do anything to regain their trust it is worth a try!"
  "I advise against this!" Ultimate Ninja warned.
  "It's my decision!" Irony Man said.  He removed his helmet.  "See?  I am 
Toony Stork!"
  "I still say its a trick!" Moonfire said.
  "I agree!" Deja Dude II said.  "Let's finish this!"
  Irony Man wasn't helpless.  He slid his helmet back on and fired repulsive 
rays at the three alt.net.heroes.  Captain Continuity, Irony Boy and Major 
Marvel then flew in and fought them one on one in mid-air battles.  
Meanwhile, on the ground, Seductress had become tired and could no longer 
hold back N and Nimbo so Morgan Le Fab and Penultimate Ninja moved in to do 
battle with them.
  "Why do they insist on fighting?" Fan Girl asked.
  "They won't listen to reason!" Organic Girl observed.
  "I should do something!" Moonmaker said.
  "Let's face it," Sarcastic Lad said.  "Some of us are here to fight and 
some of us are here for fan boys to ogle."
  "And some of us are here to make snarky remarks," Insomniac 5 said.
  Just then, a new combatant arrived at the scene!
  "Look!" said Mouse.  "It's Kid Kirby!"
  "Yeah!" said Bad-Timing Man.  "It's all over now!"
  "Actually, take another look," said Easily Discovered Man Lite.  "Things 
aren't exactly going our way right now."
  Deja Dude II, Utraman, Moonfire, Nimbo and N stood unfazed as Captain 
Continuity, Irony Boy, Major Marvel, Nimbo and Morgan Le Fab layed 
unconscious at their feet.
  "So now we face Lord Kirby himself!" Deja Dude II said.
  "Indeed, foul villains!  But it is not Lord Kirby but Kid Kirby!"
  "Another trick!" Moonfire said.
  "Where are your Kirbytroopers?" Utraman asked.
  "It is a bit odd that Lord Kirby would attack us without sending his 
Kirbytroopers first," N said.
  "It is a Kirbytrooper!" Moonfire said.  "It isn't the real Lord Kirby!"
"There is only one Kid Kirby here!"
  "You know guys," Deja Dude II said.  "Maybe it isn't a trick.  Maybe this 
isn't really our reality."
  "That's what they want you to think!" Moonfire said.
  "I think Michael might be right," N said.  "I mean, look at the LNH.  Most 
of these people I don't know.  And where are all the Kirbytroopers?  They 
should be here already!"
  "It's true that these defenders were not much!" Utraman said.
  "Thanks a lot!" Morgan Le Fab said, regaining consciousness.
  "We don't have to fight," a groggy Captain Continuity said.
  "It's not like you put up much of a fight to begin with," Utraman said.
  "Alright!" Penultimate Ninja said, getting up and brushing himself off.  
"You want a fight then bring it on!"  Nimbo gave him a swift kick across the 
face and he fell down again.
  "No!" Deja Dude II said.  "Enough!  I will accept their surrender!"
  "Surrender?" Kid Kirby said.  "Never!"
  "No wait!" Irony Man said.  "Alright!  We surrender!"

Later, in the time portation room...

  "So you say you were observing us in our reality using this machine?" Deja 
Dude II asked.
  "Yes," Cheesecake Eater Lass said.  "I wanted to see what things were like 
in other realities."
  "You shouldn't be using Legion equipment without permission!" wReamHack 
  "You sould like my mother!" VAMMO Girl said.
  "No, he's right!" Johnny Stomper said.  "I warned you about the dangers of 
observing other time lines!  I am very disappointed in you!"
  "So you never check out the XXX reality?" SoWhat asked Johnny Stomper 
  "Can we use this machine to go back to our reality?" Utraman asked.
  "I think so," Cheesecake Eater Lass said.
  "I'll do it!" Johnny Stomper said.  "I'll activate the machine myself and 
send them back to the Mirror Looniverse where they belong!"

Later, after the alt.net.heroes had returned to their reality...

  "So now they are going to kick some Evil Ultimate Ninja's butt!" SoWhat 
  Johnny Stomper shook his head.  "You don't get it, do you?  These LNHers 
are from the Mirror Looniverse!  They could very well have been just as evil 
as the ones they had come to fight!"
  "They did seem to enjoy beating up on our friends," Cheesecake Eater Lass 
  "And it might not be over yet!" Johnny Stomper said.  "The barriers 
between realities have broken down as a result of their recent travel to 
this reality and back!  Things may actually get much worse before they get 
any better!"

Meanwhile, in the lobby, as if on cue...

  "Yes, wReamHack, what is it?" Alvin asked from behind the desk.  "Hey?  
What happened to your hair?"
  "It's wReamHock," wReamHock said.  "Didn't your uncle Fred tell you who 
everybody was before you took over his job?  Anyway, where's the cigarette 
vending machine?  I'm dying for a smoke.  In fact, if you could give me a 
joint that would be even better."

NEXT: Oddball LNH 2019!


Ultimate Ninja created by Ray "wReam" Bingham.
Irony Man created by Doug Moran.
Kid Kirby created by Jameel Al Khavitz.

Johnny Stomper created by Josh Geurink.
Captain Continuity created by Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes and Robert "Mystic 
Mongoose" Armstrong.
Mr. Clean, the future version of Squeaky Clean, created by Ken Schmidt.
Bad Timing Man is Bad-Timing Boy.
Moonmaker created by me.
Morgan Le Fab created by me.
Seductress created by me.
Insomniac 5 is Insomnia Boy, created by Steve Husty.
Mouse created by Jaelle Ihimaera-Smiler.
Easily Discovered Man Lite created by Rob Rogers
wReamHack created by Ray "wReam" Bingham
Onion Man is Onion Lad created by Dane Martin and Tom Russell, Jnr

Composite Sketch Lad created by me.
Organic Girl created by me.
Sarcastic Boy created by me.
Irony Boy created by me.
Fan Girl created by me.
Major Marvel created by me.
VAMMO Girl created by me.
Penultimate Ninja (not the Oddball version) created by me.
Skateboard Repair Lass created by Jesse Willey
Cheesecake Eater Lass created by me.
SoWhat created by Lalo Martins
Whining Girl created by me.

Deja Dude II created by me and my wife. :)
Utraman created by me.
Moonfire created by me.
Nimbo created by me.
N created by me.
Yin created by me.
Yang created by me.
Acraphobe created by me.
Lava created by me.
Tremor created by me.
Sonic created by me.
Ultimate Emperor created by me.

Alvin created by Jesse Willey
wReamHock and the Oddball LNH created by Jameel al-Khafiz and Ken Schmidt
Time portation device first explicitly mentioned in a story by Jesse Willey


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