[LNH] Vel #-5

Jesse Willey cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Fri Jun 4 02:34:45 PDT 2004

Vel stood in the heat of the desert.   It didn't bother him.  Several
paces behind him were Sing Along Lass and Doctor Stomper.   The winds,
which had only been blowing softly moments before were wildly blowing
sand everywhere.

"We're almost there Vinne," Vel yelled.
"How can you tell?" Doctor Stomper shouted.
"You'll see," Vel replied.

A sandstorm began to ripple.  Sand buffeted their faces.  Stomper and
Sing Along Lass's faces reddened.   It didn't bother Vel.  It was
another advantage of his mixed heritage.
After several minutes the winds cleared revealing a large Aztec style
pyramid.  Stomper looked astounded.

"How did this get here?" he asked.
"I don't know.  This is as far as I go.  I'm a tour guide, not an
archeologist," Vel commented.  "We here on Haven world can't mess with
the ruins.  Part of the pact we made with the dying entities that
forged our peace.   Thanks to them human, Dorf, Pegausoids and Benyori
can all live in harmony."

Sing Along Lass stared him in the eyes.  

"Please, Vel.  Come with us.  There is a place in the LNH for you,"
she said.
"Carina's right.  I could use a new lab assistant ever since my nephew
decided to do more side projects," Stomper said.
"I-I can't.   My folks really need my help these days," Vel said. 
"Maybe later."
"The offer will always be open," Stomper replied.

Vel knew the truth.  They didn't care.  Hell, next week he'd just be
another in a long line of alien villagers who passed through their

Vel #-5
The Man I Never Was Part One of Six
Dorfan Pride
By Jesse N. Willey

"Funny, that's not what happened," Vel muttered to himself.

Sweat soaked through the sheets.   Vel's communication device bleeped.
 He knew he should have never wired the device into his alarm clock. 
It was 1 Am.  He'd gotten off shift at 11:30pm.  He tapped the audio
only button on clock.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," he said.
"It's Vincent," the voice replied.
"Well.. duh.  Who else calls me at 1 AM.  Jesus, Vinne, just because
I'm half Dorf doesn't mean I don't need sleep.  I mean come on, I
haven't gotten a full nights rest in a week," Vel shouted.

Vel wandered across the room in the dark.  A skateboard shot up off
the floor and whacked him in the knee as he made his way to the

"We have a situation that requires your attention," Doctor Stomper
"Oh?  What is it?  Another residual dimensional tear you need me to
crawl through," Vel said.
"Actually, yes," Vincent said.
"No way in hell!  I still haven't gotten the stench of stegosaurus
dung off my gym suit from the last one," Vel said.  "I need to sleep. 
I'll see in you the morning."
    Stomper harrumphed. "This anomaly is highly unstable.  If we don't
investigate now, we might never know what it could do the building."
	"Why me?  Why not Moose Woman or Broadway Boy?  Why is it always me? 
 If this is about me and Carina..." Vel said as he turned the lights on.
	The room itself was a pigstye.  Soda bottles and various junk was
scattered across the floor.  He had pondered hiring Captain Cleanup to
come in for and taking care of it.

"Of course not.  How's that going anyway?" he said.
"Three dates... more than a month ago.  Then nothing because you have me
at your smeggin' beck and call.  I might be your lab assistant, but I
have the right to my own life," Vel said.
"As your sponsor in the LNH..."
"I'm sick of this sponsorship bullshit.  I mean I do as much work as
any other member of this team.   What is your problem?" Vel said.
"Because you're a dorf..."
"Half dorf," Vel corrected.
"The NSA, Homeland Security and Ultimate Ninja consider you a
potential threat.  Considering this outburst, I'm not sure I blame
them," Stomper said.
"It's always the dorf thing, isn't it?" Vel spat.
"The LNH has always been an organization which cherishes diversity and
acceptance.  The team doesn't have a.." Stomper said.
"Have what?  A dorf?"
"... well yes."
   	"So, that's all I was to you people, hmm?  The token Dorf?" 
  	"Vel, it's not that you aren't bright but..."
  	"Screw you Vincent and the Flight Thingee you rode in on," Vel
shouted.  "I'll be gone in the morning."


	Vel sat at a table in the cafeteria.   When he first arrived he had a
lot of great times here.  He and Carina had spent hours here just
talking.   He had told Pizza Girl about the help Lagneto had given him
with the Enobi mess. (See The Team #50)
	"So, you've come to, henh henh, say goodbye to the old place?" asked
Onion Lad doing a bad impression of Peter Lorre.
	"You could say that," Vel replied.
	"Does, henh henh, Carina know you're leaving?" Onion Lad replied.
	"No. Besides, after what Stomper told me I'm not sure I know what to
believe anymore.  What if that was just an act too?" Vel replied.
	"If it means anything, you're the nicest Dorf I've ever met," Onion
Lad replied.
	Vel grabed Onion Lad by the lapel.  
	"Shut the frig up!  I'm not a dorf!  I'm a human being," Vel yelled
as he threw across the room.


	Ultimate Ninja stared at his daily reports.  He frowned.   That
wasn't unusual.   He didn't think he'd have to have this type of
meeting with Doctor Stomper.  Bad Timing Boy, maybe, but not Stomper.

	"He did what?"
	"He quit, sir."
	"Are you crazy?  Homeland Security considers him a security risk. 
They'll have orders to shoot on sight," Ultimate Ninja replied.
	"I know sir," Stomper said.  
	"Does Carina know?" Ninja said.
	"No sir, I thought it more appropriate if you told her sir," Stomper
	"Fine.  Fine.  Throw another job on the boss.  I'll send Tootsie Pop
Licker Lad to do it.  That'll keep him from bugging Owl Guy," Ultimate
Ninja said.
     "Um... sir, those members went back to their own reality eight
weeks ago," Stomper replied.
	"Damnit!  You people are supposed to tell me these things.  I'm only
the leader after all!" Ninja shouted.  "Is there anything else?"
     "Yeah, he assaulted Onion Lad this morning," Doctor Stomper
	"That's it!  Assemble a team to bring him in!" Ninja shouted.


	Vel entered the small village in Thailand.  The villagers were in
shock.  Most of them had never seen a half extraterrestrial before. 
They were in shock.  He didn't like frightening people, but he didn't
know of anywhere else he could go.   Anywhere back in the states, he
was a wanted fugitive.
	The world paused.  Vel looked around.  Walking out of an old
dilapidated building was the man he had come looking for-- Eric

	"What are you doing here?" asked Lagneto.
	"I found out I was just the LNH's token Dorf.  They were keeping tabs
on my actions so Homeland Security wouldn't have to," Vel replied.
	"That does not explain why you are here?" Eric said.
	"It's just that last time we met, I let you go.  I didn't have to.  I
guess I figured..." Vel responded.
	"That what?  I owed you?  I could have escaped without your help.  
Get of my village.  If you had merely asked for help as a courtesy
amongst fellow honorable warriors, I would have granted it.  To
presume favors where none are owed is an entirely different matter,"
Lagneto responded.

  	Vel's time froze.  When it started again Lagneto and the villagers
were gone.

	"Oh crap!  Now what am I gonna do?"
	Vel heard the clink of a round being chambered into a gun.   He
couldn't place the gunmen, he knew there was a round being chambered
there should be one.

	"This is the Regal 13.  You're gonna put your hands in the air and
come with us, Dorf!" they shouted.

	Ultimate Ninja pulled out every available LNH member he could get,
including the reserves.   He passed out data pads to the leader of
several strike teams.

	"Sing Along Lass was kind enough to supply us with a list of Vel's
favorite places.  He has assaulted a member of this team.    While he
might not look like much, for a Dorf, but he is smart enough to
reverse engineer Kirbytech and is a master of combat techniques from
half a dozen planets.   If you see him with anything, even a stick of
chewing gum, he is considered to be armed and incredibly dangerous. 
You got that?" Ultimate Ninja shouted.
	"Yes SIR!" the squad shouted.

	To Be Continued...

Vel created by Jesse N. Willey.  Lagneto created by Jef Kolodziej and
is reserved by Martin Phipps.  Ultimate Ninja created by wReam.  Onion
Lad created by Tom Russell and Dane Martin. Pizza Girl created by
Martin Phipps.  Captain Cleanup created by Maurice Beyke. All other
characters are public domain.

More information about the racc mailing list