[LNH] Vel #-1
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Fri Jul 2 07:39:21 PDT 2004
Doctor Killfile sat in his prison cell at the Federal Detention Center
in Hellspring Wyoming. His manacles dampened his superhuman
abilities and pumped sedatives into his bloodstream. All because he
had commited a few crimes against humanity.
"Crimes against humanity?! Bah! I was fighting crime. This species
is a crime against nature. Only the strong are meant to survive. Not
you loathsome flatscans!" his thoughts echoed. "I didn't have to save
you. I could have let you die! If it weren't for Duplicator, Lagneto,
and the Dorf, I wouldn't be here. I'll get them. I'll get them all.
But a chain is only as strong as its weakest link."
It was only a few more hours and it would all fall into place. The
other Vel would be in the LNH. His other ace in the hole would be in
the brig. Once the plan went into play, he would be out of here.
But the irony didn't escape him. His two greatest weapons were dark
mirrors of two of his greatest foes.
The Man I Never Was Part Five of Six
The Prophet's Warning
By Jesse N. Willey
"Johnny Stomper?" Vel asked. "Vinne's crazy nephew?"
The man nodded in agreement.
"Don't talk about him as if he's your friend. You're the one who
tried to kill him," Johnny said. "It was sometime during the
midsummer or early fall of two thousand four. He confronted you about
your alliance with Doctor Killfile."
"Vel... you're working Doctor Killfile?" Jailbait gasped.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Vel shouted at Johnny.
"... AND YOU SNAPPED HIS NECK!" Johnny yelled over him. Jailbait and
Vel became deathly quiet. "Forcing me to wire his head into a spare
StomperRobo just to keep him alive."
"I am sick and tired of people telling who I am, and what I should
have, or have done. I got thrown out of time in June. We've been
here six weeks. So that would make it July. So it either hasn't
happened yet, or it no longer can happen," Vel said. "In either case,
you can't arrest me Ex Pre Facto."
"Ex Pre Facto?" Jailbait asked.
She sighed. This was why she hated time travel.
"Actually, under the circumstances I can. We're on Dorfia... an under
Dorfan law you are guilty until proven innocent," Stomper said. "At
least on Earth your civil rights will be observed."
"That'd be a nice change," He snerked.
Vel sighed. Stomper was right.
He got up and followed Stomper.
"Vel, what are you doing?" Jailbait asked.
"Are you coming or not?" Vel smirked as he vanished through the
Vel approached the cell. Two robot drones guarded the brig. Not
thinking of him as a threat, they paid him no mind. At least, not
until his fist pounded through their steel heads. Before they could
signal the alarm they were nothing more than slag. He approached the
"You're late!" Screw You Over Lad snarled. "And the wrists are fine
now. Healing factor."
Vel paid him no mind as he messed with the controls. The force
field came down and he took a step back. Then he motioned Screw You
Over Lad to move.
"Run. We have about three minutes before they notice you missing,"
"But we've got to..." Screw You Over Lad said.
"Change of plans. We have to get something they took from you out of
the lab before it's discovered," Vel said coldly.
"Great Deliah, who died and made you Prophet," snapped Screw You Over
Vel simply frowned and began running. Screw You Over Lad followed.
"While you were sedated, they took a hair sample," Vel snapped.
"Of what? From me? Illegal search!" Screw You Over Lad said.
"The law doesn't matter to these people. Once they find out what
you are, chances of success decrease by fifteen percent. Stomper and
Adamant Authority on Everything are running it now," Vel said.
As Vel walked through the portal he found himself in LNH
headquarters. As he looked around, he noticed it was very different.
As a far advanced as the LNH's equipment was over typical twenty first
century Earth, it was now about ten to fifteen years in advance of
when he had last seen it.
"Vel, welcome to the year 2019. You are now forbidden from time
travel. Jailbait, you're free to go back anytime you like," Stomper
"What? What about Vel?"
"It's alright. I'll be fine. In fact I think I have things figured
out," Vel said.
"So, Jennifer, are you going to come with me? I have a timeport to
catch," Johnny said.
Jennifer looked at Vel, then over at Johnny and back to Vel. She
and Stomper turned to leave the room. Vel turned his head.
"Just one question," Vel said. "You rebuilt the Dorfan gateway
because you knew you could recall our arrival time within a certain
margin of error, right?"
"Yeah, so?" Johnny said.
"Just wondering," Vel said.
Jennifer and Johnny walked out of the room.
"I've figured it out all right. Of course, I've figured out why what
they're planning to do won't work," Vel said.
Stomper stared at the DNA molecule on his computer intensely. He was
amazed at the grafting. It was incredible. Adamanat Authority on
Everything frowned. Considering their recent arguments, he wasn't
sure he should be sharing this with Stomper. The problem was he was
the only Legionnaire on duty who would understand what was going on.
"I've never scene genetic alterations like this before," Stomper
said. "They used some sort of ultra advanced gene therapy combined
with stem cell modification on over 80% of this boy's DNA."
"Precisely. But that's not all. All the cells that were used had to
be artificially created," Authority commented. He tapped a few keys
the viewer. Various sections of the DNA turned red, orange, yellow
and blue. "Any of these patterns look familiar?"
"Good God! Is that what I think it is," Stomper asked.
"Yes. It is. The red sections are a match for Lagneto. The orange
section is a match for Doctor Killfile. The blue section is what
remains of the original genetic code," Authority said.
"And those yellow dots in the red section? If not mistaken those are
where the energy manipulation genes are," Stomper asked.
"Yes. They derive from Bad Timing Boy," The Authority said.
"Are you saying someone created a superhuman capable of controlling
Bad Luck the way Lagneto controls time?"
"That is exactly what I'm saying," Authority said.
"The Ultimate Ninja has to be informed," Stomper shouted.
Vel waited a few hours to go to the timeport room. He patrolled
the control center from across the hall, which just happened to be the
arboretum. As far as he could see, there were only two guards - Onion
Man and Skateboard Repair Lass. He could take them easily.
The Arboretum smelled of hundreds of different flowers from dozens of
planets. It reminded him of the Marketplace back on Haven. A red
haired woman in a tight white jump suit was standing there. She
"Oh my God! Vel? Is today that day?" she said.
"Huh? What?" Vel said. "J-j-Jailbait?"
"Seductress," she said. "Now listen, we've got to get your cute dorf
butt back to its own time."
"I was planning on it," he said as he stared over at the control room
He turned back from the door to her. She was now in her mid
thirties and she was hotter than ever. Even if he wanted to, he
couldn't look away.
"I can help you disable the guards. Then your can get on your way,"
He reached over and kissed her. She pushed away.
"As frisky as ever I see," she said.
"I'm sorry; I just got a little carried away..." Vel said.
"Look, as good as you and I were together, I don't want to her hurt
you again," she said.
"Again? We never..."
"Oh. This isn't the day I was thinking of then," she said. "I
shouldn't have said anything. It's my fault."
"Whatever happened... er, is going to happen... that has already happened
to you... consider that my apology. I doubt I was completely
blameless," Vel said. "Now let's go."
The Ultimate Ninja took a second to assess what Stomper and Adamant
Authority on Everything had just told him. It didn't seem possible.
Yet there it was. The question was who could do something like that.
As it turned out, they didn't have much time to figure that out. A
super strong fist pounded on the door. The Ninja could see the dent.
He didn't know what was on the other side of the door, but he knew
that it was hostile. He grabbed his katana.
"Sir, after your injuries, you're not ready for a fight," Stomper
The Ninja charged the door. It flew off the frame. He could feel
the titanium steel alloy pound against his cheek bones. He was sure
it was broken. He ignored it. Through his bruised eyes he could see
Vel and Screw You Over Lad begin to enter the room.
"You see anyone else trained to fight Dorfs around here?" Ninja
The Ultimate Ninja leapt forward with his Katana. Vel deflected.
The sword flew out of his hands. Vel reached for the Ninja's other
hand. He could see the Ninja's fingers were still twisted backwards.
Ultimate Ninja sluggishly tried to twist out of the way. Vel grabbed
the hand and crushed it. The Ninja miraculously managed not to
scream. Vel swung him around like a rag doll. After the fourth or
fifth time through the loop, the Ninja's arm ripped clean off.
"Foolish human!" Vel screamed. "You fight injured and scared. A
true warrior knows no fear."
Having finished off the Ninja, Vel took a few steps closer to
Vincent Stomper saw a dorf come closer to him, and dove behind his
desk. Adamant Authority on Everything tried to position himself
directly between Stomper and Vel. The room was filled with a
maddening POP! noise.
"Just great. A time portal just went open," Authority said.
"Judging by the ringing in my ear, I'd say at least two of them."
That's when Vincent Stomper and the Authority spotted the three new
figures in the room- Jailbait, Vel and an older looking Johnny
Vel, Skateboard Repair Lass, Screw You Over Lad and Vel created by
Jesse N. Willey. Onion Man is the LNH2 counterpart of Onion Lad
created by Tom Russell and Dane Martin. Jailbait and Seductress
(technically the same character) created by Martin Phipps. Ultimate
Ninja and Adamant Authority on Everything created by wream. Johnny
Stomper created by Josh Geurink. Everyone else is public domain.
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