[LNHY/ACRA] Google.mesh #4
phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sun Dec 12 19:43:04 PST 2004
"Oy!" Google.mesh said soon after opening Martin's refrigerator. "Where is
"I don't have any yogurt," Martin told him.
"No yogurt!" Google.mesh complained. "I need yogurt! It is the food of
the gods! What mortals called ambrosia!"
TJ sighed. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll take him to the mall. Do you
need any other groceries?"
"Some eggs, some milk, some cereal," Martin said. "Thanks!"
Google.mesh #4: Sins of the Father
Meanwhile, in Hell, Beel.gzip.bub and I.sig were plotting against our
"I need a demon sufficiently powerful enough to destroy Google.mesh!" I.sig
"That's a tall order," Beel.gzip.bub said.
"Can it be done?" I.sig asked.
"There is one in my dominion strong enough to do the job," Beel.gzip.bub
told her. "He isn't a demon though."
"Spit it out!"
"Thur," Beel.gzip.bub said.
"You mean, I could have Google.mesh killed by his own son?"
"I thought you'd like that," Beel.gzib.bub said with a smile.
Meanwhile, at the mall, TJ and Google.mesh had just finished buying their
"So now that you've got your yogurt," TJ said, "let's go back."
"Wait," Google.mesh said. "Man does not live by yogurt alone."
"What did you have in mind?" TJ asked.
"I see there is a Mac.Donalds in this mall!"
"Mac.Donalds, huh? How come you know about Mac.Donalds? Did they even
have hamburgers in ancient Sci.mar?"
"I haven't been living under a rock for the past five thousand years!"
Google.mesh explained. "Nor am I senile." He raised and shook the grocery
bag he was carrying.
"I know," TJ said. "'Yogurt does wonders'. Fine. Mac.Donalds it is."
Meanwhile, in Hell, Beel.gzip.bub was bringing Thur to see I.sig.
"He looks so strong and healthy!" she said.
"Yes," Beel.gzip.bub said. "Two millenia spent working the mines of hell
adds up to a lot of healthy exercise."
"Do you remember me, Thur?" I.sig asked as she embraced him. But he did
not respond. "What's wrong with him?"
"He's shut himself off from the outside world," Beel.gzip.bub explained.
"It happens to everybody down here eventually. It's the way that gods and
mortals alike deal with having to be here."
"But can we control him?"
"Yes," Beel.gzip.bub said. "He will do whatever you ask."
"Good," I.sig said, "because I want him to kill his father!"
"He will need a weapon," Beel.gzip.bub suggested.
"What do you have in mind?"
"Here," Beel.gzip.bub said as he handed I.sig a hammer. "It was forged in
the fires of Hell!"
"It looks like the hammer that he used to use millenia ago!" I.sig said.
"Indeed," Beel.gzip.bub. "With this hammer, he would be able to destroy
anything, including Google.mesh."
"Ha ha ha ha ha!" they both laughed in unison.
Meanwhile, at Mac.Donalds, TJ and Google.mesh were having Big Macs and
"Let's assume I do believe your story," TJ said. "If you were IO.din then
you would have also died at the battle of Ragan.org."
"The reports of my death were, again, somewhat exaggerated," Google.mesh
Google.mesh continued his story from before. "Thur and I settled in
Northern Eu.rec. Soon we were joined by Bal.dir."
"Who is Bal.dir?"
"Bal.dir was Thur's brother."
"This was from another mother?"
"No," Google.mesh explained. "They were full brothers. Their mother and I
separated and we took one of each of our sons to our respective kingdoms.
Bal.dir grew up in E-gypt and was known as the god Rec to his people while
Thur replaced me as king of Sci.mar while I went on my quest for
immortality. Eventually the three of us were re-united in Northern Eu.rec."
"Fair enough," TJ said. "So tell me about Ragan.org."
"Ragan.org was the doing of my adopted son, Lo.key. He was always jealous
of the affection I bestowed on Thur and Bal.dir, my natural born sons. He
conspired with the demons of the underworld and brought about some really,
really bad weather.
"We had three really bad winters in a row with no summers in between. The
people were all in a panic. Not only was there no food for them to eat but
the local wolves were also getting hungry and it was getting harder for the
people to fight them off so they turned to us, their gods, for help.
"Then it began. I.sig had set free the dead, just as she had threatened to
do millenia ago. The dead were devouring the living. As hopeless as it
seemed, we had no choice but to fight them off. It was, afterall, our fault
that the people were suffering.
"Just when it seemed we were victorious, the forces of Hell sent demons
against us: the wolf Fen.rec, the Looniearth Serpent Org.mungard and the
giant Sur.tech and its monstrous hound. It was up to me to battle Fen.rec.
Thur battled Org.mungard while my other sons, Bal.dir, Tech and Vi.dir,
battled Sur.tech and the hound."
"Wait a minute!" TJ asked. "Where did Tech and Vi.dir come from?"
"I had some flings with a few Norse women," Google.mesh admitted. "Anyway,
my battle with Fen.rec didn't go well and the wolf swallowed me whole."
"Right," TJ said, "so you died."
"How can you survive being eaten by a wolf?"
"Because, as I said, the wolf had swallowed me whole. It is said that
Vi.dir slew the wolf, apparently before it could digest me. When I had
finally managed to free myself from the wolf's dead carcas, I found that the
battle was over and all my sons were dead. Apparently, everyone assumed
that I, too, had perished."
"Now do you understand why your friend Martin is so important to me?"
Meanwhile, back at Martin's apartment, Martin went to answer the door.
"It's about time," he said as he opened the door. "I was getting worried
Lisa smiled. "Did you miss me?"
Martin felt someone grab him from behind.
"You do remember Kien, don't you? Ha ha ha ha! Now where were we before
your saviour so rudely interrupted us?"
"Well," TJ said, "we definitely had better get going before Martin starts
to wonder what happened to us."
"Not so fast!" I.sig said.
"You!" Google.mesh said.
"And I am not alone!" she said. "Thur! Come face your father!"
"Thur! My son! You're alive! I've missed you so much!" Google.mesh said.
But Thur did not respond. "Witch! What did you do to our son?"
"OUR son?" TJ said. "Woah! That's a little detail you left out of your
"Now you understand why things didn't work out between us!"
"So you left me to raise my son Rec by myself!"
"And you killed my best friend, Enkiben! And then millenia later you were
also responsible for the deaths of four of my sons, including two of your
own! All in an attempt to kill me!"
"You've got to be kidding me!" TJ said. "First I go to Hell and I meet
Jesus and now I'm stuck in the middle of the oldest and most vicious family
disputes of all time! The one responsible for all of Western mythology no
"Oh, more than that, mortal!" I.sig said. "For now you will witness the
death of a god!" She turned to her son. "THUR! KILL YOUR FATHER!"
TO BE CONTINUED!
Martin (not to be confused with the character created by Saxon Brenton)
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