[LNH2] Ultimate Ninja 2020 #4

Martin Phipps phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sat Aug 28 03:46:37 PDT 2004

                       Ultimate Ninja 2020 #4
                          The Majority Report

2020.  The future.  LNH HQ

  "Let me see if I understand this," Ultimate Ninja
said, unsympathetically.  "You believe that your
bosses at Conspiracy Corporation want to kill you?"
  "That's right."
  "And why is that?
  Jerry Michaels sighed.  "I over heard them."
  "How?  Were you in the same room when they said they
were going to kill you?  Did you bug their office?
  "Actually... um..."
  "What is it that you aren't telling me?"
  "Your time poration device," Jerry blurted out.
  "What about it?"
  "I built my own."
  "It's what I do.  I reverse engineer things.  I saw
the time portation device on a tour of LNH HQ a few
months ago.  I was able to build my own."
  "The time portation device isn't supposed to be on
the tour."
  "Yeah, well, I got to see it and that's all I
  "And you expect us to help you out now?"
  "Well, yeah," Jerry said, somewhat flabergasted.
"You're heroes!"
  Just then, wReamHack knocked on the door.  "Hey,
Boss, there's two men here who want to see you."
wReamHack was accompanied by men in brown suits.
  "Ah, the men in brown!"
  "Men in...?  Oh I get it!  Actually, we're FBI
agents.  I'm Special Agent Carter and this is Special
Agent Bowman."  They showed their IDs.
  "What can I do for you?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
  "Actually, we're here for Mr. Michaels," Agent
Bowman said.
  "You're wanted in connection with patent
infringement," Agent Carter explained.  "It's come to
our attention that you've been presenting your bosses
at Conpiracy Corporation with knock off technology.
This is illegal under Loonited States patent law."
  "Nonsense!" Jerry told them.  "I write my own
software.  I only look at competitor's products for
inspiration.  It's market research!"
  "That's for a judge to decide!" Agent Bowman told
  "Conspiracy Corporation will hire their best lawyers
to defend me!"
  "Weren't these the same people who you said wanted
to kill you?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
  "Actually, Conspiracy Corporation is co-operating
with the investigation," Agent Carter said.  "They're
claiming that you acted alone, fraudulantly presenting
to them competitor's technology as your own designs."
  "What?" Jerry asked.  "Wait.  Wait.  I know what's
going on!  This is their doing!"
  "Who are 'they'?" Agent Bowman asked.
  "You know very well who 'they' are," Jerry said.
"You're working for Conspiracy Corporation!"
  "I can assure you that we're working for the L.S.
government," Agent Carter said.
  "This is what they were talking about!  They're
framing me!"
  "So they're not going to kill you after all?"
Ultimate Ninja asked.
  "They said they were going to deal with me
'permanently'.  I just assumed."  Jerry was getting
desperate.  "You have to help me!"
  "I know too much about Conspiracy Corporation's
operations!  They are trying to discredit me!"
  "You will have your day in court!"
  "You can't let them take me!"
  "Don't make this difficult, Mr. Michaels," Agent
Carter said.  "Don't run."
  "Everybody runs," Jerry said.
  Ultimate Ninja then grabbed him by the arm.
"Maybe."  He twisted Jerry's arm and brought him to
his knees.  "But not here."
  "Thank you, Sir!" Agent Bowman said.  "Jerry
Michaels, you have the right to remain silent..."
  "Wait!" Agent Carter said.  "We follow procedure!"
He pulled out a small device the size of a pen and
pointed it at Jerry's eye.  A liquid crystal display
on the side of the device identified him with his name
and social security number.  "Confirmed for Jerry
Michaels!  Mr. Michaels, you are under arrest!"

  The trial had gone just as Conspiracy Corporation
had wanted.  Evidence was presented to the judge in
chambers so that Conspiracy Corporation's right to
keep corporate secrets could be protected.  The judge
vindicated Conspiracy Corporation of any wrong doing.
Jerry Michael's was sentenced to ten years in prison
and forebidden from talking about the case under
threat of further litigation!
  "What about the device he built?" Mr. Underling
asked.  "What are we going to do with it?"
  Mr. Bossman pondered the question for a moment.  "I
should check it out.  We invested a lot of money into
it.  Perhaps we can find a use for it."

  Mr. Bossman examined the time portation device in
private.  It was easy enough to figure out how it
worked: locations on Earth were defined by global
positioning and times were specified to the nearest
minute.  Mr. Bossman set the location to that of his
grandfather's house and set the time to a period many
years before he was born.  On the screen appeared
images of his mother as a little girl.  He was able to
fast forward the images and watch his mother grow up.
  Mr. Bossman found all of this very fascinating.  As
a child, he had a natural love for his mother.  As an
adult, however, he had an unnatural fascination with
very young girls.  He was delighted with what he was
seeing and wondered if he could get the machine to
send him back in time to meet her.  He soon figured
out how to do it.  He observed a little bit more until
he found the perfect time to visit her.

  Mr. Bossman arrived back in the sixties, back when
his mother was in her mid teens and considered old
enough to stay at home by herself.  He met her in
front of the old house.
  "Hello, young lady," he said.
  "Hello," she said.
  "I'm here to see your father," he said.
  "He's not home."
  "Really?  Oh.  Well, I've come a long way to see
him.  Will he be back soon?"
  "He'll be back this evening.  Do you want to come in
and sit down?"
  "Sure."  He followed her inside.  "I hope I'm not
being a nuisance."
  "Not at all.  Maybe you can help me with my
  "Sure.  Where do you usually do your homework?"
  "In my room."
  "Alright then," he said.

  Mr. Bossman felt he owed Jerry Michaels an apology!
What an amazing device!  How else could a man travel
back in time and meet his own mother like this?  And
to think!  All he had to do was hit the recall button
on the keybad in his pocket and he'd return back to
his time!  Oh the things he could accomplish!

  Yes, indeed, Mr. Bossman was extremely satisfied.
  His mother, however, was crying.
  "There there," he said.  "Women always cry their
first time.  Then later they come to love it!"
  "Not me!  I'm never going to do anything like that
ever again!"
  "Ha ha ha!  You will!  Trust me!  You will!"
  "No I won't!  I was going to have a date with Bobby
Bossman this weekend but, no, I don't want to have
anything to do with you, him, anyone!"
  "But... if you don't marry Bobby Bossman then I'll
never be born!"
  "What are you talking about?"
  "I'm your son!" he blurted out.  "I came back in
time to meet you!  You have to marry Bobby Bossman and
have his child or else I won't exist!"
  Somehow the idea that this man was her son having
come back from the future didn't make her feel any
better.  "I'm never getting married and I'm never
having children!"
  "No!"  Mr. Bossman looked at his hands.  Sure
enough, they were fading away.  Obviously, Mr. Bossman
should have thought a bit more carefully before
interfering in his mother's youth because, by doing
so, he had made it so that he was never born!  Soon,
he was gone.
  His mother remained on the bed, not sure what had
just happened.  Soon she lost all memory of the
stranger from the future but remained convinced that
something horrible had happened, nevertheless.  Ever
since then, she never felt comfortable around men.
She never got married.  She never had children.

  Mr. Underling knocked on his boss' office door.
  "Come in!"
  He went in.  "Hey, Boss!  Take a look at this!
They're pictures of Weinstein Enterprise's new
holographic computer screen."
  "Hmm.  Interesting."
  "What do you think?  Can we duplicate their
  "Looks as though the bastards have used some alien
technology.  It will take a while to figure out
exactly how they did it."
  "I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out, Boss!"
  "No doubt.  The more information I have though, the
  "I'll see what else the guys can dig up!"
  "Fair enough.  I want you to report to me as soon as
you have anything I can use."
  "You got it, Boss!"
  "Oh and Mr. Underling?"
  "Yes, Boss?"
  "Stop calling me 'Boss'.  It's too familiar.  Either
call me 'Sir' or 'Mr. Michaels' or both.  Am I
  "Yes, Mr. Michaels, Sir!"
  Jerry Michaels smiled with satisfaction.  He was
always careful not to push his employees to hard for
fear of stiring up resentment.  It wasn't easy having
these natural abilities that others don't seem to
have.  People could have turned on him at any time
during his climb up the corporate ladder.  He figured
he was just lucky that things turned out the way they
did.  They could easily have turned out differently.

                                THE END

Jerry Michaels, Mr. Bossman and Mr. Underling created
by me.

Conspiracy Corporation created by
Jessica Ihimaera-Smiler.

Weinstein Enterprises and the Time Portation Device
created by Jesse Willey.

Ultimate Ninja created by Raymond "wReam" Bingham


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