LNHY/ACRA: The Daily Super Short-Short Story #4

Arspitzer arspitzer at aol.com
Sun Aug 22 15:10:24 PDT 2004

<<Warning:  You might be endangering your soul to eternal damnation in 
hellfire if you read this series.  Just thought you should know that.>>

               The Daily Super Short-Short Story #4
          (Formally know as 'The Daily Super Paragraph')

LAST TIME:  The Mighty Morphin' Paragraph Police dared to question God's 
paragraph writing skills and for this they were burned death.  God 
decided to change the name of the series from 'The Daily Super 
Paragraph' to the 'The Daily Super Short-Short Story'.  Not because the 
Paragraph Police were right, but because God felt like it.  And now....

              'Sheep love can't cure a lonely heart'

Had God made a mistake in creating 'Gotta-Luv-Me Lad'?  He looked at the 
character who was strumming a banjo while smoking some cigarettes.  This 
wasn't the most thrilling character and God had the feeling that Gotta-
Luv-Me Lad's power (the power to make readers care about him) wasn't 
working to well.  God was just about to strike Gotta-Luv-Me Lad down 
with lightning and start over when Gotta-Luv-Me Lad spoke to God.

"God?  I feel there's something missing in my life.  There's an 
emptiness inside me.  A desire to share my life with someone.  Someone 
to talk to.  I feel lonely."

And God replied, "Lonely?  But you have me to talk to.  Why would you 
feel lonely?"

Gotta-Luv-Me Lad shook his head, "It's not that.  I want someone to 
hold.  To snuggle with.  Can you understand?"

And God said, "Well, what's wrong with the sheep?"

And Gotta-Luv-Me Lad said, "They're okay.  But every time I french kiss 
one I'm afraid it will bite my tongue off.  Couldn't you create an 
animal that's like me, but in way that would show that I'm clearly 

And God realized that Gotta-Luv-Me Lad was right.  That's what was 
missing.  The love interest.  The T & A factor.  "Okay," God said, "But 
in order for me to create your love interest you're going to have to 
sacrifice something.  You're going to have to sacrifice..."  A rumble of 
thunder.  "Your second nose!!!"

Gotta-Luv-Me Lad looked horrified.  "My second nose!?" gulped Gotta-Luv-
Me Lad.  "Well okay.  If that's what it takes to fill the emptiness 
inside me."

TOMORROW: Gotta-Luv-Me Lad meets his Significant Other!

Author's Note:  And that's why people don't have two noses.

Arthur "Well what did Adam do before Eve?" Spitzer

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