LNHY: Never Asked Questions about LNHY

Martin Phipps phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Thu Aug 5 08:56:13 PDT 2004

arspitzer at aol.com (Arspitzer) wrote in message
news:<20040803224516.18077.00001081 at mb-m03.aol.com>...
> Martin Phipps wrote:
> >Go ahead.  Meanwhile, I might take a crack at writing a Teen Fascists
> >story.  Are these supposed to be good guys or bad guys?
> That would depend on what your thoughts about fascism are.:)
> I'd say they're good guys in the same sense that Self-Righteous Preacher 
> is a good guy.

Is he though?  Or have the LNH's standards for membership been
incedibly lax?

> I did have some ideas about what type of characters would be in the Teen 
> Fascists, but was to lazy to put them on the roster.
> After 9/11 Attorney General Ashcroft decides to create a team of super 
> powered teenagers to battle the unpatriotic forces in America.
> Each teen would have the power to counter-act against a specific part of 
> the Bill of Rights.
> Speech Leech would have the ability to leech away unpatriotic speech.
> Disarm Lass would be able to prevent people from exercising their right 
> to bear arms.  She's the token bleeding heart on the team.
> Kid Search 'n Seizure has the ability to search and seize things without 
> needing a warrant.
> Croo-L and Unuzoo-L, the Pun-ishment Twins are kind of like the Wonder 
> Twins except after they hit their fists they turn into different cruel 
> and unusual punishments.  They also make a lot of cruel and unusual 
> puns.
> And so on...
> There would also be Anarchist Face who has the ability to look and sound 
> like an anarchist.  He uses that power to infiltrate various peace 
> protester cells.
Hmm.  Political satire is not my forte.  This is not exactly what I
had in mind.

> Their motto is 'You're either with the Teen Fascists or against the Teen 
> Fascists'.

The obvious suggestion being that Ashcroft and Bush are Fascists.


I see what you mean except that they probably wouldn't label
themselves as "Fascists".  The Teen Fascists would have to believe so
strongly in fascism that they'd regard Ashcroft and Bush and bleeding
hearts.  In fact, they'd probably regard everybody who opposed them as
bleeding hearts.  They'd probably label Rush Limbaugh as public enemy
number one for "not going far enough" and would want to replace him
with a right wing commentator "not afraid to tell it like it really
is".  Hmm.  I can sort of see some humor coming out of this idea but
it needs more work.

For starters, they would have to have a blind eye to the very idea
that they would be infringing the rights of Americans: rather than set
out to infringe the bill of rights they would probably quote the
constitution as if it were a biblical text, the only restriction being
that the bill of rights only applies to "real Americans" and THEY
define who a real American is.  Just as Bush might label the French as
being unsympathetic to the war on terror, the Teen Fascists would
label Bush as being unpatriotic should he speak out openly about the
Teen Fascists.  After all, they are AMERICAN heroes, unlike those
Before God guys who speak with Summarian accents!

So I was thinking of taking ordinary net.heroes and making them
fascists.  Instead of Linguist Lass, we would have English Only Lass! 
Instead of Irony Man, we would have, um, ah, Irony Man I guess.  I
mean as leader of Tsk Force, he used to hunt down non-conformists.  If
that's not fascist then what is?  Indeed, the very concept of a
superhero group seems very militaristic and fascist and writers of
real comics have played around with that idea already.

Hmm.  Needs more thought.


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