LNHY: The LNHY Character Roster
Arspitzer
arspitzer at aol.com
Sun Aug 1 17:23:07 PDT 2004
THE LNH Y CHARACTER ROSTER
version 1.00
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THE HEROES:
MEMBERS OF THE LNH:
(All members of the LNH in Looniverse Y are either usable without
permission or public domain.)
NAME: Kid Kicked-Out
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
SECRET IDENTITY: Greeve Gaines (Not to be confused with Greef Graves)
POWERS: Kid Kicked-Out has the ability to be kicked-out of superhero
groups which he's done quite a lot in his career. Some of the superhero
groups he's been kicked-out of are Teen Fascists, Before God Guys,
Desperately Desperate Desperadoes, and the World's Worst Heroes. He
also has the ability to be kicked-out of class, out of dimensions, bars,
the army, churches, prison, you name it. If its a place, thing, or
concept that you can be kicked-out of or kicked-off of he can be and
will be. He's also invunerable to any physical injury (although he
feels the pain and is more sensitive to it than the average person).
ADD NOTES: He's currently the leader of the LNH.
APPEARANCE: He has a black and blue colored costume with a 'shoe
print' for an icon on his chest and his back.
ENEMIES: Boot-Head, Baron Buttkicker, Miss Take-In
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
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OTHER HEROES:
NAME: The Before God Guys
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
ADD NOTES: Before there was Superman. Before the Roman Empire.
Before the dinosaurs. Before Jesse Helms. Before God created the
Universe. Before God was even born. They were there. Fighting the
Good Fight. Saving non-existence from itself. And even back then, they
were really, really old. They fly around in a Petrified Plane.
*NAME: The Cheapest Skate
POWERS: Even though he has saved over a zillion dollars in his very
long existence, he's too cheap to spend any of it. This miser has a
superfast rollerskate that goes up to the speed of light. But he only
has one. He was too cheap to buy a second one.
*NAME: Dentures Dan
POWERS: He has the Looniverse's most powerful set of dentures. It
can eat through any material.
*NAME: Doctor I. Forget
POWERS: He's the Before God Guy's resident genius. He's always
forgeting what he's talking about.
*NAME: The Geezer Gorilla
POWERS: He's a talking Gorilla who's a geezer.
*NAME: The Perpetual Virgin
POWERS: He wears mystical underwear that prevents him from aging,
makes him invulnerable to harm, and gives him incredible powers.
Unfortunately the underwear is unremovable, so he's never gotten laid.
*NAME: The Wrinkly Old Bag
POWERS: This very wrinkly old.. um.. lady has this very wrinkly old
bag that she can use to cause wrinkles in time and space. She also
likes to hit people with it. And let me tell you. It really hurts.
ENEMIES: Loud music. Kids. Taxes.
NAME: The Deadly Serious Squad
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
ADD NOTES: The Deadly Serious Squad is deadly serious about being
deadly serious. They're on a mission to advance the superhero genre.
They don't wear costumes. They wear business suits. They don't have
code names or superpowers. And they don't fight supervillains. They
fight 'real' people. They're good at hand to hand combat and the
martial arts. They're thinking about relocating to No-Joke City because
they're finding Net.ropolis Y a bit too silly.
*NAME: Major Lee Serious
ADD NOTES: He's the leader of the team. He's a former major in the
army and is good at military strategy.
*NAME: Barry Serious
ADD NOTES: He's Lee's kid brother. He's good with computers.
*NAME: Bea Serious
ADD NOTES: She's Lee's kid sister. She's good with weapons.
*NAME: Noah Joe King
ADD NOTES: He's the token black guy on the team.
*NAME: General Lee "Dead" Serious
ADD NOTES: He's Lee's dad and the founder of the Deadly Serious
Squad. He gets his nick-name from the fact that he's dead.
ENEMIES: Terrorists, Drug Lords, Banjo Dueling Kangaroos
NAME: Desperately Desperate Desperadoes
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
ADD NOTES: These guys are really desperate for anyone to join their
superhero group. So desperate they'll paint your house, baby-sit your
kids, mow your lawn. You name it. They'll do it. They stalk the
houses of ex-members.
*NAME: Wish-I-Were-Dead Man (deceased)
ADD NOTES: Accidentally killed by Kid Kicked-Out
NAME: Greef Graves (not to be confused with Greeve Gaines)
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: You may refer to this character. You may have your characters
say they have met him. But you cannot prove that he exists or doesn't
exist.
POWERS: No one knows. Perhaps its the power to make it impossible
for anyone to prove he doesn't or does exist.
ADD NOTES: Every superhero has claimed to have met him. Every
supervillain has claimed to have battled him. Every innocent bystander
has claimed to have been rescued by him. Every woman has claimed to
have slept with him. But no one can prove he exists. He leaves no
footprints or fingerprints. No one knows his age, his race, his
religion, his politics, his nationality, his sexual orientation, or even
his gender (or even his species). The only thing he leaves when he goes
through an oppressed land is freedom and a song in the peoples hearts.
(That song being John Lennon's Imagine). He's like some cross between
Gandhi, Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Elvis Presley, and Pocahontas. Some
conspiracy theorists speculate that he might really be a very clever
supervillain who's using these good deeds to give the world a false
sense of security so they fall into his evil hands.
ENEMIES: Those that would prey on the weak and defenseless.
NAME: Teen Fascists
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
ADD NOTES: This is a group of fine clean-cut civic minded young
people who will do whatever it takes to make the world a more orderly
place. They won't let pesky things like the Bill of Rights or the
Constitution get in the way of justice. And they will make sure the
trains run on time.
ENEMIES: The ACLU
NAME: World's Worst Heroes
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
ADD NOTES: The name says it all.
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THE VILLAINS:
THE SYSTEM CORRUPTERS:
(All members of the System Corrupters in Looniverse Y are either usable
without permission or public domain.)
There are currently no members of the System Corrupters.
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THE OTHER VILLAINS:
NAME: The Banjo Dueling Kangaroos (Ben and Joe)
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
POWERS: They've got banjos. And they know how to use them.
ADD NOTES: They are the enemies of fine art and great literature.
They seek to destroy any serious attempt to elevate the superhero genre
with their absurd silliness and banjo duels. They particularly like to
harrass the Deadly Serious Squad.
APPEARANCE: They wear straw-hats and nothing else.
NAME: The Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Ask for permission first
POWERS: No one knows.
ADD NOTES: Do you know what evil is? Do you know what heart
stopping, baby eating, kitten juggling evil is? Until you've met the
The Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man you'll never truely know the meaning of
the word 'evil'. He is the darkness in our hearts. He's the sound
outside that we're to scared to check on. Parents like to warn their
children that if they don't eat their veggies or if they don't behave,
the Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man will get them. (There is no proof that
the Banana Daiquiri-Drinking Man bases his victim list on whether or not
someone ate their veggies or if they they misbehaved). He likes a good
Banana Daiquiri. He's a large man that is obscured in shadows.
ENEMIES: All that is good and decent.
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
NAME: Madam Middle Finger
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
POWERS: She likes to give people the finger. And she's really big.
ADD NOTES: She's a giant female that rides shotgun with the Road
Rager. It's not quite clear what the exact relationship between them
is. Are they lovers, related, or just good friends? Or perhaps she's a
hitchhiker. She rides in a gigantic SUV and likes to shout profanity.
She was created by Master Root of All Evil. Please feel free to kill
this character off.
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
NAME: Master Root of All Evil
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
SECRET IDENTITY: Barry M. O'Roll
POWERS: He has the ability to think of any supervillains and make
them exist. Sometimes the supervillains have weapons or vehicles. The
supervillains usually have their own retconned histories and most of the
time are not aware that he created them.
ADD NOTES: His dad was a Satanic Televangelist. And his mom was a
Pantomime Instructor. He has a birth mark that spells 'EVIL' right on
the back of his neck. When he was six years-old, he lost all of his
hair. By the age of ten, he had grown a goatee. When he was in college
he tried to get an orange soda from a vending machine, but instead
recieved a root beer. The Rootbeer of All Evil. Drinking the rootbeer
he became Master Root of All Evil. There was a time for a couple of
years that he reformed and didn't use his powers, but Looniverse Y #1
showed him creating The Road Rager and Madam Middle Finger going back to
his evil ways. He's good friends with Kid Kicked-Out and knows Kid
Kicked-Out's secret identity. And Kid Kicked-Out like wise knows his
secret id.
APPEARANCE: He wears this brown costume and has a utility built with
different types of roots. Carrots, Parsnips, Turnips, if it's a root he
has it. He uses them as weapons.
NAME: Mysterious Shadowy Messing-with-Destiny Dude
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
POWERS: He can mess with people's destiny. He also has access to a
lot of weird items.
ADD NOTES: He's a mercenary that works for anyone that can pay his
price. He's been to many alternate universes. The Banana Daiquiri-
Drinking Man paid him to give an LNH briefcase to Greef Graves, but
instead he gave it to Kid Kicked-Out.
APPEARANCE: Wears a black trenchcoat and black hat.
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
NAME: The Road Rager
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
POWERS: He's a big giant with a big gun.
ADD NOTES: He's a giant who drives a very big SUV. He's also in a
very big hurry to get to places and really hates drivers who are too
slow. He likes to shoot drivers who are in his way with his Traffic
Management Gun which is the size of a tank. He also likes to honk his
horn. He's currently riding with some gal named Madam Middle Finger. He
was created by Master Root of All Evil. Please feel free to kill this
character off.
ENEMIES: Cars, Pedestrians, Anyone that's in shooting distance.
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
NAME: Roster Leech
CREATED BY: ????????? (????????@????.com)
TYPE: ???????
POWERS: The ability to never get used in a story. And also the ability
to remain on a Character Roster List without worring about ever being
deleted from it even though it never appears in any stories.
ENEMIES: People who hate wasted bandwith.
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THE WILDCARDS:
NAME: Dr. Idius O'Stupid Agottawork
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
POWERS: He's the biggest expert in the field of Stupidology. He's
very good at thinking of ideas that are so stupid they will probably
work.
FIRST ISSUE: Looniverse Y #1
NAME: St. wReavenger Van Saxdrippseel McHuberyike III
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitzer (arspitzer at aol.com)
TYPE: Public Domain
ADD NOTES: He (or She) wrote the 'Everything You Always Wanted To
Know About The LNH, But Were Afraid To Ask' manual.
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