SG: Innocent Bystander #11 (2/2): Masking

[Whitney Taylor]

Continued from Part 1


*****


"FEAR ME! FOR I AM TALTECHANO, DEADLY SUPERVILLAIN BASED IN THE SAN FRANCISCO METROPOLITAN AREA!"


"Really? You're not even that tall. How come I've never heard of you?" One of the bank clerks took a break from cowering long enough to ask. A laser blasted close enough to singe his hair. "Eep! Never mind!"


"YOU WILL NOW FILL THESE ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY REUSABLE COTTON GROCERY BAGS WITH EVERY HIGH DENOMINATION BILL YOU CAN FIT!" Taltechano boomed, taking note of the security cameras and posing so that the closest of them got a good look at the 'T' painted on the front of his black and gold armored power suit. He also took note of one of the bank's customers attempting to surreptitiously film him on their phone, an insolence he would normally have punished, but it suited his purpose now to allow it to continue. "HURRY, NOW! SO MUCH CRIME, SO LITTLE TIME!"


This was true. Daniel had managed to shake his "assistant" once more. That idiot Ramon had let slip that he had never seen 'Goncharov', and a timely comment dropped offhand to Blago had sent the mage after the henchman, determined to evangelize this cinematic masterpiece. Daniel hadn't waited around to see how Ramon handled him, but sprang into action. Fortunately, he had anticipated the need for an excursion, making all the necessary alterations to his suit before flying to California.


"Halt, evildoer!" Taltechano whirled to face a masked man wearing various metal-colored athletic pads over spandex workout gear and strangely bulky roller blades. "Roller Rocket is here to end your reign of terror!"


This was somewhat of a relief to the villain, who had been slightly worried that his escapades would attract the attention of El Guererro de Los Pantalones or some likewise formidable Californian superhero and it was not his intention to complicate his affairs with crossovers. "FOOL! MORE LIKE RETARD ROCKET! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


"Are you just gonna, like, use derogatory terms all day? It's not funny. You can't just say something offensive and expect people to laugh. True banter requires actual jokes!"


Daniel almost retorted that he should have expected this sort of scolding on the West Coast, but bit his words back just in time. Come to think of it, the hero's words weren't any more annoying than what he'd heard out of the catgirls. Although he was less infuriatingly cute than a catgirl. Mmmmmmm.... catgirls....


The villain's untimely meditation on his feline nemeses slowed his reactions just enough for the roller bladed hero to catch him offguard, bodychecking his armored form with hard enough to knock him over. "AAAARGH!" Taltechano fired attitude jets. This failed to right him fully, but his barely controlled gyrations got him out of range while Roller Rocket circled him, wary of the plasma streams. "IS HUMORLESS SCOLDING *YOUR* IDEA OF BANTER?"


"At least he made an effort, and didn't just start throwing out slurs!" the bold bank teller had apparently regained some of his nerve, even as he frantically shoveled bills into sustainable cotton bags. Most of his colleagues murmured in agreement, though one added,


"This whole dialogue is more like a metaphor for how culture war makes comedy more adversarial and therefore less funny from an unbiased perspective...."


"SILENCE, THE LOT OF YOU! THIS IS A HEIST, NOT A HIGH SCHOOL DEBATE CLUB! HOW DARE YOU IMPUGN THE HUMOROUS POWERS OF I, TALTECHANO, DEADLY SUPERVILLAIN BASED IN THE SAN FRANCISCO METROPOLITAN AREA! NOW HAND OVER THAT CASH!" Daniel snatched several filled bags, sending many hastily packed bills fluttering. He cursed silently inside his helmet. It couldn't be helped; he'd had to improvise this part of the operation. The money wasn't the main objective, but a little extra untraceable cash never hurt anyone.


Roller Rocket leaned forward, an expression of determination on his face. Suddenly, fire blossomed at his heels and he shot forward, straight towards Taltechano. Startled, the villain lifted into the air on his own booster jets, almost too late. The skated hero spun about, throwing a padded elbow just in time to catch the hardsuit's leg with a surprisingly forceful blow, and the villain, off balance, was sent careening through the air, shedding bills. Desperately, he fired his lasers in his enemy's general direction.


The hero held up his athletic wristbands, which deflected any laser blasts that would have hit him. However, he was distracted long enough for his foe to regain equilibrium. Taltechano aimed carefully, and let off a series of missiles. Roller Rocket dodged, his athletic body moving with an elegant grace which would have put an Olympic figure skater to shame. Sadly, Taltechano had aimed not to strike, but to stall, and the dodging superguy had run straight into a missile meant to hit the ground slightly to the left of him.


Inside his suit, Daniel winced. He would have preferred to avoid killing or, with prompt medical care, seriously maiming, any witnesses here. That was why he had used his lightest ordinance! Still, he reasoned, with a gimmick like that the guy couldn't be expected to live long anyway, and besides, any reprisal would be aimed at his current and temporary alter ego. He was heading back across the country soon, anyway, and it wasn't like anyone would come looking for him all the way over in Florida.


He snatched up the bags (sadly somewhat deflated and now blood-flecked) that he had dropped. "THUS, THE FATE OF ALL WHO DEFY TALTECHANO, DEADLY SUPERVILLAIN OF SAN FRANCISCO AND EXTENDED METROPOLITAN AREA!"


And so saying, he blasted out the door and was gone.



*****


Maow sighed contentedly, arching as the brush scraped down her spine. "Really, I don't know what Mom was complaining about. You're not nearly as hairy as some of the others. I only got a little bit from your whole back, see?" Mina reached forward, a puff of brown and cream fur the size of a medium sized mouse in her hand. Maow snorted on it, blowing it into the Westing's backyard. She wondered if she would like to seek out the witch Rosemary, to learn about magic... but for now, she was enjoying her time with Mina's family.


Her cat half chafed against the rules, it was true. At this thought, Maow belatedly pulled the straps of her overalls back over her shoulders. Humans had such strange ideas about nudity! It seemed related to their equally deranged attitudes about sex. She was still not allowed to sleep in Mina's room, though she had reassured the household that she was not currently in heat, information which in itself had provoked some comment. They might have given in if Mina had insisted, she thought resentfully, but the human girl had only blushed furiously and stammered out something about wanting to take things more slowly.


Her instincts might become a problem. The birds in the yard were forbidden to her and the squirrels... well, she didn't want to break the treaty and start another war. She wanted to bring objects of value to her hosts, but she knew well that so-called "stealing" was likely to provoke more consternation than gratitude. Only the human boy's video games seemed to dull the urge.


Then there was her fur, which she must keep off the furniture. But it was really too hot to have a lot of fur when she also had to wear clothes all the time. Also, it was a reason for Mina to groom her. Wriggling around, she tackled the human joyfully, licking her hair.


"Maow!" the girl laughed, reaching up to scratch behind Maow's ears, "It's too hot to cuddle!"


Maow sat up, looking into Mina's warm brown eyes, so unlike the eyes of any catgirl. Dog's eyes, Minyang had said dismissively, but Maow quite liked dogs. She blinked, slowly, and Mina smiled back.


Suddenly Maow was distracted by a hideous apparition! She sprang to her feet, hackles up, and bared her teeth in a hiss of warning, circling away from Mina to give the human time to get to her feet and escape.


The abomination merely cocked its head, as if confused by her actions.


"What the...?" Mina looked around. "Drew?"


Maow stopped, also confused.


"...Oh. Drew, get those off your head!"


The vile horror reached its hands upwards, causing Maow to back warily away. Then suddenly, Mina's little brother stood before her, holding a headband attached to what Maow realized with distaste were a pair of replica cat ears.


"I thought you'd get a kick out of them. I didn't know you'd freak out! Sorry, Maow." The boy apologized, shamefaced.  "The girls at school thought they looked cute on me..."


"You use *thosssse* to attrrrract mates?"


"Wouldn't have flown in my time. Kids these days have different standards... I think it's all the alien invasions and exotic superguys." came a new voice. Mina's father--though like Drew he did not smell like her at all--had apparently been drawn out here by the noise, and was standing in the doorway sipping coffee and observing their antics. "More emotionally healthy than becoming scared of everything, but a little bit of caution might be advisable."


"Daaaad!" Adolescent humans often seemed to experience intense feelings of humiliation around their parents.


Mina's phone vibrated.


"Hold on..." Mina scrutinized the device. "Wow. That was fast."


"What is it?" asked Drew.


"The Middle Grounds Cafe... they're going to reopen in a week. The lease on my apartment didn't even have time to run out! They're asking if I can come back..." She looked up, guiltily, to where James stood in the door. She could stay... But there were things to investigate in Jacksonville.


"Your mother doesn't want you going back there." James frowned. "I agree with her. You're a grown woman who can make your own decisions, but that doesn't mean we can't worry, especially about villain types knowing your name and face."


Mina looked at the synthetic cat ears Drew still held. "I have an idea about that..."



*****


The missiles crashed into the side of the building, spreading out in a square shape and piercing the concrete with a crunch. Taltechano sighed in appreciation for the neat, subdued pop as the small payloads went off in unison. Just like the sound of a silenced gun, in movies...


But now it was time to get down to business.


He raised an armored boot and with a single kick failed to knock in the weakened section of wall. The villain cursed, looking around to see if anyone had seen this flub. A small number of people were standing in the nearby parking lot, gaping. A smaller number had their phones out.


Unacceptable. Taltechano had prepared for this, though. He raised a fist and fired off a pocket sized Magnoblaster (guaranteed to fry every phone in a 10 meter radius!) at one offender, and watched with satisfaction as the fools scatter.


Turning back to business, he pushed the weakened wall, this time with his arms and with the aid of boot jets. This time, a roughly square area fell inwards, followed by an armored form moving at high speeds because his boot jets were still firing. The figure crashed through several interior walls before regaining control in a cubicle filled room. As this was fairly close to his target destination, he decided that he had meant to do this.


Raising his arms, he addressed the room of stunned office workers. "GREETINGS, PEONS! I AM TALTECHANO, DASTARDLY SUPERVILLAIN OF SAN FRANCISCO AND EXTENDED METROPOLITAN AREA! YOU WILL COME TO NO HARM IF YOU ONLY GIVE ME... ALL OF YOUR OFFICE SUPPLIES!"


As he had anticipated, this provoked a great deal of confused milling about. The villain let loose a villainous cackle at eardrum numbing volume, further contributing to the chaos. As various hapless workers covered their ears, gathered up the tools of their pathetic trade to ransom, or attempted to hide their favorite staplers, Taltechano strode through the room seemingly at random, issuing exhortations about his great villainy and, especially, his theater of operations (the San Franciscan metropolitan area and certainly nowhere in Florida). The Authors must have been with him then, for the door he had his eyes on suddenly opened.


"Hey, guys? I know we're all looking forward to mandatory Impersonate A Supervillain Conte--Urk!" Ron Simpkins' words were cut off as an armored fist closed around his throat.


Inside his suit, Daniel was sweating with the effort of self control, eyes wide with homicidal desire. It would be so easy... "UNNNNNGGGGGGNO!" he grunt-shouted, hurling the executive away from himself. This was not the time, he told himself. Death was not enough. He must be disgraced. At least the wretch would get a nice bruise from being flung into that desk, the villain consoled himself.


A sudden plinking of bullets against his armor alerted Daniel to the fact that security had caught up with him. This, too, played into his plans as he ducked through the door Ron had come through. As he slammed it after himself, he noticed with some fury that Ron had his own Limited Edition Spoonball machine in his office (his brief flight through the employee breakroom having revealed only copies of Trivia with Ignorantman for entertainment) and dragged it in front of the door to block it.


Now he had the time to do this right. Quickly scanning the room with the equipment in his helmet, he located the single security camera and, pretending to duck the bullets coming at him through the door, dropped behind the desk and out of the camera's range of vision.


Now safe from surveillance, he opened a small panel in his armor and drew forth a pellet of some strange material, the size of a small marble. From another panel he drew a small vial. Pouring the contents on the pellet and carefully replacing the empty tube, for he had watched many police procedurals and had no wish to leave traces of his own DNA anywhere, he waited anxiously and listened to the shouts outside the door.


The pellet uncurled slowly, to Daniel's great relief, until he was holding a tiny imp in his palm.


"Master?" it squeaked. It was adorable. It was also a violation of the laws of Science, but what was the use of being a villain if you just went around obeying laws all the time? He just hoped it worked as advertised, as it had cost him more than a drop of blood.


The villain whispered his instructions hurriedly. His imp nodded in understanding, and scampered off. If it worked as advertised, the secrets of the Zoomah would soon be his!


Taltechano stood up, roaring in triumph. Realizing that the people outside would wonder what he was roaring in triumph about, he quickly cast about the room. The Spoonball was now a wreck, which caused him to shout for joy again but didn't solve his problem. Then his eye caught sight of the fancy pen set on the desk. Snatching this up, he barreled back through the now bullet riddled door screaming, "OFFICE SUPPLIES!" at the startled security forces, waving the pens about in the air. For good measure, he grabbed a stack of copy paper (orange, 8.5 by 14 inches) on his way out.


*****


Mina didn't have to check the street number; Maow, snug behind her on the scooter, began to make alert chirping sounds as soon as they turned on to the street. Approaching the cottage, she could see the cats threading sleekly through the high grass in the yard. They popped up in the windows, too, as she pulled into the driveway.


"This is a good place," Maow proclaimed as she hopped off the scooter and dropped immediately for a roll in the wildflowers. "Numnum wooooould love this mmmmeadow."


"I guess she hexed the homeowners association." Mina speculated, looking around at the nearby ruthlessly clipped yards. She brightened a little. "Good for her! That's what Mom would do, but she can't so she has to rely on veiled references to her past shadowy deeds as a freedom fighter against supervillain overlords, and that doesn't work nearly as well."


Maow turned her head to the side, bit into a rich clump of grass, and reached out for Mina to pull her up, chewing. "Therrre are ghost cats too. Friendly!"


"Well, I hope so. I kinda have to trust your judgement in situations like this." Mina pulled her up, and they approached the house, hand in hand. The steps up to the porch were covered with plants in pots, releasing scents to delight even Mina's weak human nose. Herbs for magic, she wondered, or just to look nice? Cats of varying description followed the two, sniffing their legs, and they had to resist the urge to lean down and socialize. In one window, there was a black on white pasteboard sign: 'Free kitties, to good homes ONLY' with 'ONLY' underlined in red, dripping paint. Mina, focusing on the mission, pressed the doorbell, and a chorus of meows arose from all directions, including a loud wail coming from right next to her.


Mina looked at her companion with concern, but Maow only shrugged. "Feels good to scrrrreeeeam sometimes. 'Nnnnot in the house,' your mother says. 'Neighbors talk' your mother says."


There was no time to respond then, for the door opened.


"Why, hello, dears!" Rosemary Flowers exclaimed. "King Fluffins VI told me you were coming, so I had just enough time to put the shrimp milk under the rainbow crystal... watch your step, now..."


Mina blinked, bewildered, but Maow dragged her through the door and into a small foyer. The floor was covered with cat toys, specifically, yarn, in various colors, which crisscrossed the room in ankle-endangering patterns. The excited catgirl paused only a moment before leaping forward, placing her feet daintily. Mina, still caught by the hand, did her best to follow, and for once, was able to emulate the other's feline grace enough to cross the foyer into...


A nice looking sunlit living room. The first thing she noticed was the faint mint-like fragrance, with not even a whiff of the litterbox. The furniture was old, and the green and white striped upholstery showed signs of claw usage, but it looked like the hair was cleaned up regularly. Knickknacks abounded behind glass cabinet doors, all of them, as far as Mina could tell, cat figurines. This was expected. The mirror covering the whole of a windowless wall, however, made her raise her eyebrows, as did the full length life size portrait of Elvis as a cat furry. Maow moved about the room excitedly, making friends and sampling who knew what exotic smells.


Mina stood awkwardly, not quite knowing where to start. Rosemary followed them in after closing the front door. "Just sit down on the couch. The kitties will move--yes, Miss Baby Bean, I know how terrible it is." A little spotted cat, imposed upon, had complained shrilly, only to jump upon Mina's lap immediately as she sat. "Now, dear... Mina, was it? Lovely name. Just like the girl from Dracula! Now, let's see... I offered to scan you for magical influence, and to help you refine your magical gifts," here she turned to face Maow, "And here you both are! See anything in the mirror, Miss Maow?"


For now the catgirl stood before the mirrored wall, hairless palm pressed to the glass and tail slashing back and forth. At the question, she turned her back to it. "I have human innnntelligence," she said with dignity, covertly reaching behind herself to hold her tail still. "I knoooow that the image in the mirror is mmmy reflection..."


"And yet..." Rosemary prompted. Mina, facing the mirror, saw one of the housecats saunter forward and into it, disappearing from the room.


"Kgkgghhhk," she said, pointing.


Maow looked at her with concern. "Mmmina? You aren't getting the horrible allerrrrrgies of legend, are you? Can yooou breathe?"


"khhhIt walked right in!" Mina gasped. "The cat! Into the mirror. That is." She looked at Rosemary for support, but the woman merely smiled.


Maow looked between the humans and the mirror, uncertainly. Finally she said: "Hooow did she get past the cat guarding the other side of the mmmirror?"


"That's one thing I can't explain to you, Miss Maow. I've never been able to learn it for myself. It's something you'd have to learn from one of these little ones." She gestured around the room, at the remaining cats. "It's something only a few of *them* have mastered. I'm just around to mend wounded paws when they come back."


"Hmmmmm," Maow said, sinking into thought and a cat-free spot on the couch. She was immediately colonized by local beasts and, clearly, unavailable for human conversation.


"Well, Mina dear, it looks like it's time to examine you, if you still want that. Only you should decide quickly, so I can put the milk back in the fridge."


"I... don't know if I want to drink that stuff..." Mina admitted; although to herself, she also admitted that she was curious.


The witch smiled. "Oh, it's not for you! These old eyes just need a little boost to be able to see into the really fine details of magical weaving. I'm not examining your aura itself, after all..."


"Oh." Mina relaxed, freed of having to make that decision. "Are you sure you don't want anything in return, though?"


"Besides satisfying my curiosity? I wouldn't say no to money, if I thought you had any. No... no, just speak well of me to your cat friends, if you get the chance. I'd like to meet more of them."


"I guess I can do that..."


"Lovely! I'll go get ready. I'll only be a moment."


Rosemary walked out of the room and Mina turned her attention to Maow, who was covered in purring cats. She turned her half-closed eyes to Mina, sensing her gaze.


"Having fun?" Mina asked softly.


Maow's purr was answer enough.


"Just make sure you pay attention. I--"


"Yes, do watch! I want to see how closely you can follow along." Rosemary had come back in, dabbing a milk mustache away with a handkerchief and sat back down in front of the girl. "Oh, I can already see... My, this little bit of embroidery has been here for a while!"


"Huh?" said Mina.


"Oh, that's what I'd call it... quite an intricate bit of spellwork, and well-preserved, too!"


"Prrretty." Maow added, "Like sparkly thread." She had stopped paying attention to the cats around her, and was watching intently.


Mina, however, felt a chill, remembering that she had sold coffee to a number of villains, some of them mages. What if one time she had put too much almond milk, and...? "How long has it been there?"


"It must be at least a decade, from how your aura has grown up around it."


"My aura..."


"Grew up around it, like a tree around a fencepost. You must have been just a child, for it to be grown over like that. It will make it terribly difficult to remove, though."


"Oh." said Mina faintly, shivering. "Is it..."


"Dangerous? I shouldn't think so. There's no taint of malice. As for what it's meant to do... why, I can't quite figure it out. A hodgepodge of different spells. None of them seem harmful, although I don't recognize everything here. Let me look a little more. Take a deep breath, hold it... now out."


Maow growled, very faintly. "Blood smell."


"Yes... there's a trace of blood magic here." Rosemary frowned.


"What? Isn't that, like, human sacrifice? I'd remember if I saw someone do a human sacrifice. That kind of thing would be hard to forget!"


"No need to get upset just yet... Whoever crafted this--I'm quite sure it was crafted now, and not some kind of accidental contamination. Yes. Whoever crafted this was experienced with blood magic in general. Which needn't even involve killing, just a little shedding of blood."


Mina was about to retort with a firm "Gross!" but memory came to her of being a small child, frightened but uncontrollably curious, ear pressed to the door to hear her parents argue. Her father's determined voice: "It only needs a few drops of my blood a month! Not even a pint, and Estella can live! If only I can master the spell..."


Meanwhile, Rosemary continued. "There are some binding spells worked in here... And... now this is odd. A medieval charm protecting against plague?"


"A protective spell!" Mina was starting to form a theory about how she might have acquired an enchantment over a decade ago, and if she was right... She swallowed, to stop her throat from closing in the rush of old love and sorrow remembered. If she was right... this spell, at least, was one thing she didn't have to worry about.


Rosemary was still frowning, the crease between her brow deepening. "That's not a common enchantment in modern times... now where do I recognize..." If Mina hadn't been so absorbed in her own memories, she would have noticed the cunning woman's eyes widen in fear, though her voice when next she spoke was brisk and confident. "I'm quite sure nothing I've seen is causing any harm, and I couldn't see any hidden layers that might be activated in the future. It's a static spell, and I've already said that it would be quite difficult if not impossible for anyone other than the caster to remove."


"I don't want it removed." Mina said. She smiled sadly, unconsciously pressing a hand against her heart. "If it's not hurting me, why mess with it?"


"Oh, good." said a visibly relieved Rosemary. "That is, I'm not sure this old woman is up to the task. Now, I'm sure a young lady like you has more exciting things to do with her time than spend it with an old bat like me!" She stood up and Mina, able to pick up a hint, did likewise.


"Come on, Maow! Are you done socializing?"


The cats had indeed mostly abandoned their humanoid kinswoman, who was still watching Rosemary, tail tip twitching in her lap. "I wwwwill stay." She declared. "If you are brave enough to teach me."


Mina, whose mind had returned to the present just in time to be confused by the catgirl's challenging tone, looked back and forth between the two of them. "Maow..."


Rosemary drew herself up, throwing her shoulders back like a woman half her age and immune to arthritis. "Of course I will. Never let it be said that I won't help a kitty in need... and I suspect you may have need, if you're friends with this one." She cast Mina an oddly guilty look, and held her hand out, a card appearing in it. "Here, dear... Just in case something comes up."


Mina took the card, bewildered. "Thank you. Maow, are you sure? What if the other catgirls come asking about you?"


"I haaaaave a cell phone. I will simply call them."


"And me?"


"And you."


"Well... I'll miss you!" Not wanting to embarrass herself with a long drawn out goodbye in front of the mage, Mina turned and walked out.


"Sooooo--" Maow began, but then there was a crash and a shout. The two rushed to the foyer, where Mina lay, tangled in an improbable amount of yarn.


"Oh, dear," Rosemary sighed. "I really should have remembered to disarm the security system."


*****



Savannah, present


"...thaumic circuitry interfaces with the cyborg's will through the W.00 framework, all powered by the connative magical capacity of the user. The numinal flow accompanying the electronic left an impression--a virtual soul--in the circuitry. But with the user deceased, there's no more thaumic energy flowing through those circuits. So it's off until I hook it into a magical battery."


Elly's eyes were currently made of sparkling rubies, and couldn't glaze over no matter how much technobabble she listened to. "...Oh." She hoped he hadn't noticed how motionless her metal face had become as she drifted into reverie. She had long ago given up hope of ever understanding the intricacies of her friend Daemon's technomagic line of work, but he did seem to enjoy talking about it, and it would be a shame to cut him short. "So are you going to plug it in or not?"


"Are you done with that circle of protection?"


Elemental was quite good at construction to order, as long as it was purely physical. "I was done about an hour ago. Have a look!" She gestured proudly at the sigil she had reproduced perfectly in electrically insulating rubber coated to the attic floor. Now perhaps he would agree to accompany her to Burning M00se. She hated to go alone, with no one to carry souvenirs back for her.


Daemon nodded in satisfaction. He didn't tell her that she could go now, because he knew her well. "Make sure you stand back. I think I mapped every function, but there's always people more devious than me."


Elly skittered to the other side of the attic on glass legs while the technomage donned his heavy rubber protective equipment. (Being a villain was no excuse not to practice lab safety!) She watched avidly as her teammate placed an intricately carved wood and silver box contraption in the middle of the circle. He then slipped the optic nerve end of the cybernetic eye into a special socket at the top, and hopped backwards out of the circle with surprising speed and agility for such a large man.


There was no hum, or visible glow emanating from the implant as it began to draw from the battery. The eye did not light up, though Elly still remained carefully outside of its direct line of vision. Only the ripple across her supernatural senses that informed Elly that another magical creature had entered the room. If she'd had hairs on the back of her neck, they would have been standing up.


Then it spoke.


"Where the hell(tm) am I? Who are you? Last thing I remember is... Hey, is this actually Hell(tm)? I expected more fire." The voice paused for a moment, taking stock. "Or would the fire mess up all these fancy electronics?"


Daemon stepped into the eye's line of sight. "You aren't in hell(tm). This is my workroom. You can call me Daemon."


"I'm not in hell(tm) but there's a demon? Just drop the act and skip to the punch line, but watch out! I'm loaded with dangerous levels of spiritual cholesterol, so maybe take a rain check on this one, chubs."


Elly, her caution overwhelmed, scampered into view brandishing freshly grown and shining claws. "You watch your mouth! You didn't learn anything the first time I punished you for disrespecting my friends, did you? {Some heads are gonna roll!}" She sang, unable to resist breaking out her Rob Halford impression.


Daemon sighed, putting a hand over his eyes. "Not necessary, Elemental..."


"What the--a spirit form who can possess and control inanimate matter? Oh, I think I do know you. You decapitated *me*! Sent my poor potato flying without a word of warning!"


Elly crossed her arms. It was tricky with the claws still on, but she managed it. "That's right."


"You're one to talk about manners! Every other bad guy I've mouthed off to has just beaten me senseless and put me in a filthy yet insufficiently secured cell, or an easily escapable deathtrap."


"I don't believe in deathtraps." Elly said primly. "They aren't practical."


"Mr. Electric Eye," Daemon broke in with a magically amplified voice, to interrupt the brewing argument. "I awakened you for a reason. I hoped we could talk."


"Talk, eh? You'll get nothing from me!"


There were a few moments of silence.


"So you're the guy in the attic, huh." the Electric Eye finally said, breaking first. "I knew something was going on upstairs. Someone using technology as well as magic."


"You should have come up instead of down. Things might have been different. I would just have wanted to talk shop with you."


"Ah, maybe I'd've taken you up on that, if I hadn't been on a job. And if I'd seen through that Laylah. But the bitch had me good. I admit it. Always knew it would be a dame."


Rude, Elly thought, she'd been the one to kill him and she identified as an eldritch monster, not a dame. But she let it go this time, magnanimously.


"What was the job you were on?" Daemon asked.


"I'm not gonna answer that. I pride myself on my discretion, and since one of you killed me I don't feel much like sharing anyways! And don't think you're gonna beat anything out of me. I don't even have a body for you to beat up anymore. What happened to it, anyway? Nevermind, I don't even wanna know."


"We don't torture people for information. We know you can't get anything good that way." Elly smiled, sharp silver teeth gleaming. "Torture is really only good for satisfying one's vengeful and sadistic urges, and we don't want to go around fooling ourselves about what we're really about!"


"It'll be pretty boring if we leave you here alone. If you cooperate, I can see about setting you up with a monitor viewing of altiverse 420ASMR."


"And I could come by sometimes and sing for you!" said Elly, wanting to get in on this. "That doesn't count as torture despite what all the terrified people fleeing for their lives have said. They were running for other, more straightforward murder-based reasons! I'm really quite good."


"Ah. The old good cop-bad cop. I *think* I've figured out which is supposed to be which."


"If it helps, we already know *who* you were working for. I traced that last transmission to San Francisco." This was only confirmation of something Laylah had squeezed out of him earlier, but Daemon didn't think the eye needed to know that. He had also taken steps to plant a mole in the MetaStasis Corporation, but he didn't think the Eye needed to know about that either.


"In that case, why aren't you more worried, huh?" For the first time, the eye started to glow. "You can't keep having it all your own way, y'know. I got a pretty good idea of what you're all about before I set foot in this house, and now my employer knows all about it, and he'll tell some other people, and no one's gonna like it. It's all gonna come crashing down on you, and pretty soon too. You wait and you see."


****


The nurse almost dropped her clipboard when she saw the dark figure standing over the bed. The figure whirled on her with a liquid motion, arm raised, then lowered when it saw who she was.


"Hello, nurse. I have come to check on my brother."


"Oh! You're family." The nurse relaxed a little, then remembered her patient's status. "He's... stable..."


"I am not here to do harm. I only wish to know the truth. You have nothing to fear from Roller Ninja tonight, so long as you speak honestly."


The nurse looked down at the bed. "Well... he has suffered a hard blow to the head, but his brain still shows some activity. His legs, though... We couldn't do anything. I'm sorry."


Roller Ninja bowed his head. "Though we were on opposite sides of the law, it pains me to see my brother like this and to know that I will never again meet him as an equal, in battle. There is only one thing I can do for him... Revenge on this new villain Taltechano! A mysterious figure, almost nothing is known of him, but I know of a place. A place where villains may meet together, and plot, and gather information on each other!" He saluted the nurse, who stared back blankly. "We will not meet again, for I shall be traveling--to Florida!" He swerved around the bed with his strangely liquid motion, and the nurse noted that he was wearing roller blades, although they made no sound as they slid across the floor. He circled around her and out the door almost before she knew what was happening. Startled, the nurse poked her head out the door and peered around, but the hall was completely deserted.




WILL ROLLER NINJA EVER APPEAR AGAIN?


OR WILL THE AUTHOR FORGET HIM?


DID ED EVER DO A STINT WITH THE ILL DUDES? BECAUSE EW.


HOW FAR HAS THE "FURRY ELVIS" HERESY SPREAD?


WILL MAOW LEARN TO BE A MAGE?


WILL THE AUTHOR EVER GIVE POOR MINA ANY POWERS FOR PITY'S SAKE?


FIND OUT (EVENTUALLY) ON


SUPERGUY



Notes: the radio clip Ed was listening to was lifted from Force Ten Episode #21. If you even care.


Copyright (c) 2023 by Whitney Taylor. All Rights Reserved.


AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40854900/chapters/119999938

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