LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #218: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46-47
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Oct 3 14:17:42 PDT 2021
You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for these issues of LNH v2.
First we have Saxon Brenton trying his hand at a 24 minute comic (a Jamie
Rosen invention (based on the Scott McCloud 24 hour comic concept)) with
LNH v2 #46. Lemurs from the Superguy altiverse are invading the LNH imprint!
What mischief will the Lemurs wreak or maybe they'll just form a rock back
called Leroy and the Lemurs (well assuming one of them is named Leroy.)
And then we have LNH v2 #47 where Drew Perron gives us a Flame Wars Final
Prologue! Will the new Irony Man reveal his (or possibly her (or possibly
their identity?)) And will Cheesecake Eater Lad ever get that ketchup-mango-chai
cheesecake to work?
Find out some of that possibly in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #218
=====================
Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46-47
=====================
From: Saxon Brenton saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Date: Mon Jan 2 12:41:48 PST 2012
[LNH][Contest] Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46: A 24 Minute Comic
___ ___________________________
| |-| \
| |-| [] / #46
| | | [] egion of \ 'A Spoonful of Mischief'
| | | []__ [] [] [] [] / (Part of High Concept Challenge #26)
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \
| | | []\ ] [ __ ] / written by and copyright 2012
| |-| [] [] [] [] \ Saxon Brenton
| |-|___________________________/
| |
| |
| |
| | Cover shows three lemurs. One of them is wearing glasses, one of
| | them is carrying a bottle of grape juice, and the third has a spoon.
| |
| |
| |
|_|
From the personal files of Cheesecake-Eater Lad:
"I knew things were going wrong when I heard the 'Frink' from the
back of the LNH-HQ's walk-in refrigerator store-room.
" 'Who's there?' I demanded. The only reply was muffled giggling.
Some supervillain or other, no doubt. Well, just because the head-
quarters of the Legion of Net.Heroes attracted villainous ne'er-do-wells
like flies didn't mean that they'd be allowed to get the better of the
heroes.
"I backed into some shadows and then silently leapt up onto some
tall shelving. Okay, yes, I know I'm a bit overweight. But my ninja
training gives me stealth that my opponents usually don't - can't -
credit to a fat man.
"I ghosted along, following the sounds of the giggling until I came
upon my opponents. They were a trio of lemurs (one of them wearing horn
rim glasses), and they had stolen several bottles of grape juice. More
importantly, they somehow knew I was there, and had shaken up one of
the bottles until it was full of pressurised carbonation bubbles, and
then they unscrewed the top in my direction.
"I catapulted out of the way as the fizzy, grape flavoured soft
drink fountained and splattered all over the shelving where I had been.
As I flew through the air I threw a number of spoons at them. I may not
be as good at spoonjitsu as Decibel Dude's girlfriend, Samantha Spoon
was, but the spoons hit their mark squarely into the wall on either side
of the three lemur’s heads, and then stuck there, quivering with a
satisfying malice.
" 'All right, that was just for starters,' I said, as I lightly
bounded down to the floor with enough spoons for a second volley if it
became necessary. 'Do you surrender? Or do I have to get rough?'
"The troublesome trio of lemurs put up their hands in a sign of
surrender as they decided not to be troublesome anymore."
"So that's what happened," Cheesecake-Eater Lad said as he finished
his story to Occultism Kid and Fearless Leader.
Occultism Kid nodded. "I think I know what's going on. You're
aware that the Superguy altiverses have had very little activity over
the past few years?"
Cheesecake-Eater Lad nodded, somewhat sadly. There were so many
story imprints that had dwindled away from lack of interest over the
last twenty years.
"Well, apparently some of the lemurs have been abandoning ship,
heading off to other imprints," said Occultism Kid. He looked pointedly
at the three lemurs, who were now watching the net.heroes from inside a
steel cage box.
"Well by rights we should deport them back to their home
dimension," said Fearless Leader.
"That's hardly fair if their universe is about to run down from
lack of interest," protested Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
"I hardly think the altiverses are in any danger of dying," said
Fearless leader.
"I agree," said Occultism Kid. "If nothing else, the squirrels
don't seem to be particularly worried, and they've got a far better grip
on the metaphysics of these things."
"Okay, so let's get the paperwork sorted out for sending them
back... Hey, we've they go?" demanded Fearless Leader as he suddenly
realised that the cage was empty.
"Look!" said Cheesecake-Eater Lad, pointing at a hairpin on the
floor. "They must have picked the lock!"
"I'll use a spell to track them," said Occultism Kid. "They can't
have gotten far."
They hadn't, but they didn't need to.
The troublesome trio raced down the halls (tripping up Bad-Timing
Boy in the process) when they came to an open door. A door that
shouldn't have been open. They scampered inside, and came face to face
with the awesome contents of the Legion's Plot Device Room.
"Woooo," the lemurs went. Then they heard the Legionnaires in
pursuit behind them. They ran further into the Plot Device Room, and
happened upon an inter-dimensional portal generator, which most
certainly shouldn't have been on like that. They raced towards it.
Along the way one of the lemurs picked up one of the numerous artefacts
that were stored in the room: The Spoon of Destiny of Looniearth-A. And
then the three lemurs and the Spoon went through the portal into
Looniearth-20, to make mischief in a brand new imprint.
=====
Character credits:
Cheesecake-Eater Lad created by Matthew Jotham Millheiser.
Fearless Leader created by Dave Van Domelen.
Occultism Kid created by Josh Guerink.
Author's notes:
Written for the 26th High Concept Challenge: a 24 minute comic
starting with the line "I knew things were going wrong when..."
This is the second story I tried for HCC26, and was written in 24
minutes exactly. (Editing, spellchecking, and copy'n'pasting in the
logo took extra time, naturally.) The first was a story involving a flying
cargo ship caught in a silt storm in a fantasy setting, but I ran out of
time about halfway through, indicating that I really didn't have a
proper sense of how long it would take me to whip off a particular
amount of text.
Only after I finished writing did I realise that Occultism Kid's
summary of the lemurs isn't actually all that complete. Yes, they're a
running gag, but upon reflection and after some fact checking it could
be accurately said that their original home is the usenet newsgroup
alt.fan.lemurs.
(Handwavy rationalisation) From there they spread out,
including to the Superguy writing group mailing list (which as far as
shared universe writing group's go is rec.arts.comics.creative's elder
sibling, and for the last few years has been on low ebb and kept alive
mainly by the efforts of Gary W. Olson). (Even more handwavy
rationalisation) If we posit that only a few of the more panicky Superguy
lemur population have decided to bail, and that some have gone 'back
to the old country', then this explains why only a small number have
turned up elsewhere.
By contrast the various factions of squirrel super scientists and
magicians showed up mainly in Dvandom's old _Crazy Guy_ and
_Exarchs_ series for the Superguy imprint.
Anyway, the premise - that some but not all of the lemurs are
starting to abandon Superguy for still active imprints - is an off the
cuff piece of silliness that I threw out sometime last year. The notion
of throwing the whole mess into the brand new LNH20 imprint to
further complicate the 'Spoon Of Destiny' cascade is a piece of
mischief that occurred to me within the last hour.
What, you though the story title referred to the *lemurs* making
mischief?
-----
Saxon Brenton University of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex
world of jet-powered apes and time-travel." - Superman, JLA Classified #3
From: Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Date: Sat Apr 14 21:03:24 PDT 2012
___ ___________________________
| |-| \
| |-| [] / #47:
| | | [] egion of \ "Absolute Infinite Negativity"
| | | []__ [] [] [] [] / (A Flame Wars Final Prologue)
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \
| | | []\ ] [ __ ] / Written and copyright 2012
| |-| [] [] [] [] \ Andrew Perron
| |-|__________________________/
| |
| | The cover is a simple holofoil; dark grey with a silvery Irony Man
| | II in the position of Rodin's Thinker and the series logo in blue.
| | In the corner is the Flame Wars Final logo, a black seven-pointed
| | star with "FLAME WARS FINAL" in a stylized font, in light gray
| | outlined with dark gray.
|_|
<---------------------->
<---------------------->
Drops of red swirled into a creamy yellow-white base. Thin-sliced bits
of fruit fell in, and were stirred with gusto. A light powder fell on
the surface, and it slid into the heat. Baking, baking... finally, it
was done. One cut, then another, it rose to the lips, and...
Cheesecake-Eater Lad sighed. This ketchup-mango-chai cheesecake just
wasn't working.
He needed a break. He hung his toque on a hook and made his way out of
the kitchen. The corridors of the LNHHQ had shifted since he last went
this way, but if he just kept moving outward...
The fire door swung open, and he stood in the garden. Some earth
spirit or half-elemental or something had left a patch of green with
strange, exotic plants here, and over the years, through the
ministrations of some of the LNH's more earth-sensitive members, it had
grown flush with verdant beauty.
The late afternoon sunlight fell in streams through the leaves of the
trees. Pink and purple and periwinkle flowers hung off clinging,
climbing vines. A babbling brook had somehow sprung up, winding gently
through the green; Cheesecake-Eater Lad made a mental note to have
someone take a look at the plumbing.
As he turned a corner, an armored form came into view. He stopped,
suddenly unsure of how to proceed. "Ah... hi there."
"Hello, Cheesecake-Eater Lad." The enigmatic new Irony Man had been
inducted under the Miss Terious/Sir Prize Act of 1966, which stated
that any attempt by a resigning member to nominate a new person with an
unrevealed identity and hidden secrets to replace them had to be
accepted. No one knew who he was or what he looked like; not even
Ultimate Ninja, or so it was rumored. His armor was smooth and
streamlined, in tones of dark, gunmetal gray and the lighter gray of
titanium alloy, and his voice was heavily synthesized.
At the moment, he was kneeling in the garden, tending to a rosebush
shaped like the Infinite Leadership Crisis. His clippers moved
smoothly, pruning deadheads and trimming branches, collecting the
remains in a bag for composting. "How are you doing?"
"Oh, pretty good, pretty good. You?"
"Quite well, thanks. Has anything interesting happened?"
"Not really. Shake-N-Bake Lass mutated into a ten-eyed walrus and
You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad had to talk her down."
"Mmmm, that all?"
"Yep."
"Okay."
Precisely forty-seven seconds passed in awkward silence.
"Well, then, I guess I'll be going..." He turned to leave.
"Cheesecake-Eater Lad?" He paused, looking back, and the frozen
faceplate turned to stare at him. "Why don't people like irony?"
C-EL let a quiet sigh escape through his nose. He turned back,
fiddling with his mask a bit. "Well... I guess it's because they're
tired of it."
"Tired?" It was kind of unnerving how much emotion was expressed in a
simple tilt of the head.
"Well, yeah..." He looked around, found an overturned crate and sat
down on it. "Okay, so..."
"The thing is, back in the day, society was a lot more straightforward.
But the thing, I guess, is that people felt like they had to... well,
remember the Classics Squad? They were heroes, definitely, but they
were... it's like, because they had to be straightforward, they had to
ignore everything about themselves that wasn't 'hero'."
"So, because of this, if you wanted to use irony at all, you had to be
clever, willing to stick your neck out. And if you did, well, you got
noticed! You were subversive. So being ironic was associated with
being subversive and clever... and everybody who wanted to be seen that
way started using it."
"And over time, more and more people picked it up. It went from being
a reaction against normal to being normal itself. Heh, old story,
right? But as it went all mainstream, the people who weren't so good
at irony used it for a cheap laugh, or as a way of making a point they
couldn't support. And the people who wanted to subvert the mainstream
ended up having to use more and more layers of irony to get the same
effect."
Cheesecake-Eater Lad shifted on his seat. "So, basically... it's
everywhere, and it's gotten annoying. Never really thought about it in
that level of detail, but yeah... does that answer your question?"
The metal helm nodded. "Indeed. Thank you, Cheesecake-Eater Lad."
He nodded and stood. "Well, I should get working on dinner. Did you,
um, need anything else?"
"No, no. You have been quite helpful, quite elucidating."
"Ah, good. No problem. Yeah. Have a good day and a nice evening and
all!" He skeddadled posthaste.
Irony Man looked toward the setting sun. He snipped a single bud off
and caught it in his hand, turning it so the brown rot could not be
seen on the pink petals. He sighed, tossed it in his bag, and headed
inside, leaving the bag in the cybershed.
Behind the locked door of his room, he powered down his suit. The
helmet clicked open, was set on the table.
And the new Irony Man said, in her rough yet distinctly feminine voice,
"And that is why I must continue to seek her... the Messiah of
Sincerity."
<---------------------->
<---------------------->
Author's Note: Yes, this Irony Man is a fan of Socratic irony.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, the Flame Wars Final logo is based
on Scavenger's LNH logo, as seen at http://www.eyrie.org/lnh/ .
==========
Next Week: Something that has LNH in title probably...
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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