LNH/HCC: Limp-Asparagus Lad Vol.2 #0 [HCC49]

[Andrew Perron]

On 11/7/2014 6:52 PM, Saxon Brenton wrote:

> Limp-Asparagus Lad Vol.2 #0
> A Legion of Net.Heroes title

!!!!

I AM STOKED LIKE WHOA.

> Across the top corner is the label
> proclaiming that that the story 'Contains Crunchy Continuity Goodness!'
> which should probably be taken as given for this series, I suppose...

YEAH <3 <3 <3

>       Footnote Girl: "Well, that's still more or less the plan.  But
> the writer has decided to take one scene from the proposed 'One Month
> Later' story, and give it its own zero issue reintroduction as a series
> relaunch.

Perfect! <3

> Mary-Ann Happenstance (better known as Senses Lass) has gotten out of
> prison

Wait, wait-- this actually happened in a Limp-Asparagus Lad comic? *dodges the 
banana cream pies*

> Joe Foresythe (Retcon Lad) had been living in
> the same apartment as his cousin Joshua, but now took the opportunity
> to move out and start living with his girlfriend, Terri (Fourth Wall
> Lass). In turn Mary-Ann has moved in with Joshua in his apartment in
> the Mutant Town district of Net.ropolis.

Well that's cute.

>       "Two independently operating attention spans," explained Mary-Ann.
> "I was using the other one to keep track of the time."

Oooooh, ahhhhh.

>       "Oh, I insisted on doing the dough," said Mary-Ann.  She briefly
> mimed twirling the pizza base in mid-air.  "We shared chopping up the
> toppings between us, and the bread..."  Mary-Ann and Joshua looked at
> each other.
>       "To be honest the bread sort of just happened in a fit of
> enthusiasm because we already had the ingredients out," he admitted,
> eliciting a chuckle.

He's chuckling! IT'S THE END TIMES

>       "I only have a doctor's appointment with Dr Stomper," said Joshua,
> and he pointed to the eye patch he was wearing.  "He wants to see how
> my eye socket is healing."

OH CRAP IT'S EVERYONE LOSES AN EYE AND HAS TO WEAR AN EYEPATCH NOW CRY.SIG--

> During the events of the _Flame Wars 4_
> Joshua had been injured by the creepy little troll god O.M.A.R., who
> had plucked out Limp-Asparagus Lad's eye like an olive.

Oh.

>       "Actually, I have a medical appointment too, I think..." said
> Mary-Ann.
>       Terri raised an eyebrow.  "You think?"
>       Joe sucked in a breath in mock worry.  "Oh, I dunno about that.
> A mysterious request for a medical exam.  That sounds like the start of
> a supervillain plot to me."

I was going to say "pregnancy".

>       Mary-Ann gave him a droll look.  "It was from Occultism Kid.  The
> only mysterious part was that he wanted to do an examination of my soul,
> and since I don't have one..."
>       Joshua was puzzled.  "What makes you think that?"
>       Mary-Ann looked at him, then at the others.  They were all sharing
> the same expression of mild bafflement.  "Uhm, artificial person here,"
> she said, waving her hand in credible impression of Buffy-speak sarcasm.
> "I wasn't built with one."
>       Joe shook his head.  "Proves nothing.

I'm pretty sure all the robots, synthezoids, force-grown clones, 
Frankenstinean flesh golems, and other artificial people I've written all have 
souls.

>       "*ANY*way," continued Joe. "When they brought up the fact that the
> Carborundum Armored Weapon is a robot and supposedly shouldn't have a
> soul, it turned out that thanks to the love and acceptance that the
> others had given him, CAW had gotten one as well.  [In _Swordmaster_
> #10 - Footnote Girl]

D'awwww.

>       "Sure you can," said Joe.  "Remember the 'quest to the Dream Court'
> arc in _Dvandom Force_?  When the DForce members first catch sight of
> the Castle of Dreams they're told that only those who are empty inside
> can't be affected by the Castle's beauty, and sure enough they're all
> ooh-aah... except for Kat.  And Kat worries that after all the
> hard-bitten mercenary work she's done over the years that she no longer
> has a soul to be affected by it."  [In _Dvandom Force_ #94 - Footnote
> Girl]

Ooooo, nice. Though I think that was less of a realistic worry and more of 
Kat's angst.

> Joe gestured with his hands in a 'there you go' movement, and
> then finished off his argument with a flourish of fan boy logic:  "All
> of which clearly shows that Kat should ignore her Writer's attempts to
> keep the sexual tension going, and simply start sleeping with Kid
> Pocky.  That will get her soul back."

Wonk wonk waaaaa! <3

>       I've had this scene on the back burner for a long time.  People
> who were on rec.arts.comics.creative in 2012 and read Tom's thread
> 'Three Metaphors for Superhero Teams' about the different ways in
> which superhero teams operate as metaphors for various social groups
> may remember that I gave a brief description of it at that time.  But
> I think I've been nursing the scene for almost a decade.  (Or maybe
> longer.  I've kind of lost track.  Sorry.)

Haha `-`; It's okay.

> In any case, yeah, Andrew
> was definitely right when he observed that the core cast of _Limp-
> Asparagus Lad_ tend to act as a family group, and here I chose to
> literalise the metaphor and clobber you over the head with it.

Mwahahaha. <3

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, has scenes he's been saving for at least 
five years.