LNH: All-New Legion of Net.Heroes #3

[Andrew Perron]

------------------------------------------------------------------------
LLL         AAA     LL      LL             NNN   NN EEEEEEE WW      WW
LLL        AA AA    LL      LL             NNNN  NN EE      WW      WW
LLL       AAAAAAA   LL      LL      ====== NN NN NN EEEEE    WW WW WW
LLL      AA     AA  LL      LL             NN  NNNN EE       WWWWWWWW
LLL     AA       AA LLLLLLL LLLLLLL        NN   NNN EEEEEEE   WW  WW
LLL                                                 |                 |
LLLLLLLLLLLLLL                                      |   Session #3    |
LLLLLLLLLLLLLL E G I O N  O F  N E T . H E R O E S  |                 |
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANDREW PERRON as Kid Enthusiastic
EDWARD HAUSER as Genesis
ANTONIO MENTEGUIAGA as Maia
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY SO FAR: There is *power* flowing from the Net to humanity and 
back! The net.powered have gathered together on a budget to form - the 
Legion of Net.Heroes!
========================================================================

Kid Enthusiastic has a wrench!

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I definitely did not steal it."

Genesis eyes Kid E. "...Um, okay. I don't recall asking if it was 
  stolen..."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh cool."

Genesis peers. "/Did/ you steal it?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Nope!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I bought it at the hardware store."

Genesis says, "Why? Something in need of smashing or turning?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Well, like, there's always *something*. If we 
  want an LNH-mobile or a plane or, like, some sort of net-throwing 
  trap, we'll definitely need a basic toolkit!"

Genesis sighs. "We don't have the money for the supplies for /any/ of 
  those things." She leans back in her chair and looks up at the 
  ceiling. "Starting to wonder if I should get back in contact with 
  VEIL..."

Kid Enthusiastic shakes his head so hard he briefly gets dizzy. "No 
  way!" He hops up on the desk, and fiddles with his phone for a 
   moment. "I-- ah!" A dramatic march begins playing, and he points out 
   the window into the appropriately-timed sunset. "If we're going to 
   really and truly bring together the new humanity, we can't be 
   beholden to the government or the military! We gotta be heroes! 
   Fighting for the public good! Serving the people in our own way! 
   Doing the things they can't!"

Genesis leans forward and rests her chin on her fist, grinning very 
  slightly. She sighs a little. "You're right, of course... I mean, 
  that's why I resigned. It's just... we don't have any resources. I'm 
  not sure what else we can do right now..."

Kid Enthusiastic's music sort of winds down awkwardly. "...hmmmm." He 
  hops off the desk. "Maybe we could have a community bake sale."

Genesis chuckles. "That'd get us a new Danger Tracker, maybe." She 
  gently kicks the side of the old Gateway computer under the desk, the 
  aluminum case thumping. "Look... I don't know how much time we have, 
  here. We need to get money *somehow*. A lot of it... we need to have 
  rapid response capabilities, we need an *actual* tracker, and most 
  importantly, we can't operate totally freelance. We need support and 
  cooperation from and with the government."

Kid Enthusiastic hrmmmmmmms. "Maybe..." He snaps his fingers. "I know! 
  A private detective license! We can take cases to pay the rent and 
  get some official recognition!"

Genesis grins. "Hmm. Well... I like the idea, I'll give you that much. 
  But... okay, look. I was trying to be a bit more subtle, but I really 
  feel like we need to work with VEIL. I don't mean that we should 
  become agents, but... look, I know these people. They're government, 
  sure, but they're good people, and are trying to protect humanity 
  just as much as we are... hm. Maybe we can work with them as 
  metahuman consultants, of sorts."

Kid Enthusiastic hrmmmmmmm. "Well, I mean..." He taps his chin with his 
  fist in a kind of adorable way. "I mean, if we're consultants, 
  y'know? If we're not taking orders, I guess that would... maybe... be 
  okay?"

Genesis smiles. "Exactly. I don't know whether Director Lionheart's 
  gonna go for it, but I like to think the work we did together when 
  she was the ERU chief counts for a lot. This'll get us public 
  recognition, money, *and* rapport with the government. We need that."

Kid Enthusiastic sits down, pondering, tapping his fingers together. 
  "Wellll... okay. But if we go all corporate because of this, I 
  reserve the right to go and found the West Coast LNH."

Genesis says, "Fair. Buuut I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about 
  that... you're /really/ weird, kid, but honestly, you're a valuable 
  asset... you've got a hell of a brain and I don't think anyone could 
  match your enthusiasm."

Kid Enthusiastic grins. "Well naturally! That's why the name." He nods 
firmly.

========================================================================

Maia pulls a sheet of paper out from her cloak.

Kid Enthusiastic o.o

Genesis glances over at Maia.

Maia oh right, pulled out a sheet.

Kid Enthusiastic ah! Indeed.

Maia says, "It came with the hammer I think. ....Its got numbers and 
  stuff on it."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oooooh! Can I see? o.o"

Maia hands it over.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmm, looks like it's some kind of dungeon-y 
  dragon-y character stats page thing. With your name on it!"

Maia gasps, looks it over, "...I feel kinda insulted by this thing 
  now."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, c'mon, you have a high Charisma! I could 
  just pinch your cheeks! <3"

Maia says, "Right! Charisma! So obviously I must be some sort of 
  charismatic class! ...I think."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmmmmm, class, class... huh. That's weird."

Maia says, "What is?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I think says 'Carpenter'. Is that, like, a 
  metaphor for hitting people with a hammer?"

Maia says, "...Carpenter. Carpenter isn't a class!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, I dunno, lots of people want to learn 
  carpentry. Pays good money!"

Genesis peeks at the paper. "...Okay, this is starting to get a little 
  too meta."

Kid Enthusiastic hmmmmmmmms and pulls out a pencil. "I wonder if you'd 
  change if we wrote new stuff on here..."

Genesis snatches the pencil out of Kid E's hand.

Genesis says, "No."

Genesis says, "We don't fuck around with the potential fabric of a 
  person's being lightly."

Kid Enthusiastic pouts! "I was only going to put something in her 
  inventory. Like, a banana peel!"

Genesis gives Kid E a look.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "For *science*!"

Maia says, "My inventory is on that thing?"

Genesis says, "Possibly? What's in your pockets?"

Maia says, "...Oh yeah! I'm wearing jeans under this hoodie!"

Maia says, "Kid! I'm hungry! Write apple on that sheet!"

Kid Enthusiastic gets out the pencil? :D

Maia nods, "Do it!"

Kid Enthusiastic quickly writes in 'apple'!

And its quickly erased from the sheet, if it can even be called that. 
  The writing seems to unwrite itself after the pencil, the lead 
  quickly breaking and the sheet sparking a tad.

Maia says, "Huh. Guess not, alrighty then."

Kid Enthusiastic ...huh.

Kid Enthusiastic takes copious notes.

Maia takes back the sheet. "Probably best if I keep this for myself."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Ooooh! Make a photocopy and see if you can 
  write on that!"

Maia says, "...You guys have a copy machine?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "...well, there's one in the print shop in the 
  next building over."

Maia stares at the print shop. "How long have we been in a city."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, here, let me pull up the description from 
  the first session on my phone..."

--
As yet, the headquarters of the Legion of Net.Heroes (the name was Kid 
  E's idea) is a small affair--really, they just rented out a couple 
  floors of commercial office space.
--

Maia says, "Oh, in that case."

Maia sits in her rightfully gained office chair. "So how we paying for 
  this place?

Kid Enthusiastic says, "By scrimping and pinching! Although..."

Kid Enthusiastic looks over his shoulder at Genny. "Well, Genny's going 
  to 'make use' of some of her government contacts. Which... will 
  totally be a good idea! ...right?" He gives Maia a hesitant 
  thumbs-up.

Maia looks at Genny, "We should probably get some sort of superhero 
  funding or something shouldn't we.

Genesis nods. "It will., I'm sure of it." She smiles. "We'll be 
  freelancing for VEIL. No ties beyond them paying us to do stuff we 
  choose."

Kid Enthusiastic ...second thumbs-up?

Genesis thumbsup!

========================================================================

Maia says, "...Hey, I'm a superhero, aren't I? Is there like, a 
  documented amount of skin I'm supposed to be showing or something?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Skin? Is your skin the source of your powers? 
  o.o"

Maia says, "No. ...Wait, do I have powers?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "...I thought you had powers??"

Maia says, "I have a hammer!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hammer power!"

Maia shrugs.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "But yeah! Do you want to wear a bikini or 
  something?"

Maia says, "I dunno, doesn't seem too sensible really. I'd probably 
  flop everywhere."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. Okay then, you're good!"

========================================================================

~~~~~~~~~Elsewhere in time and space:~~~~~~~~~

Eternity tocks, "They participate in this charity thing called the FF5 
  Four Job Fiesta. It's a yearly thing in which you sign up and are 
  handed four jobs, one from each crystal. You have to be using all the 
  jobs available to you at any given time, and you're limited to those 
  four jobs for the whole playthrough."

Gail Kilcrop <3

Eternity ticks, "The idea being to stream it, usually."

Eternity tocks, "If your first-crystal job is Berserker, you're off to 
  a really good start! But if you get White Mage... you miiiight be a 
  little bit fucked. o3o"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maia suddenly feels incredibly offended.

Kid Enthusiastic ???

Maia says, "I feel as if someone just stated something horrible against 
  my namesake."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Which one?"

Maia says, "White Mage."

Kid Enthusiastic ahhhhhhhs. Patpats. "You should write a sternly worded 
  letter."

Maia heads to the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Et-Cetera-Basement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maia comes in from the Space-Time Nexus.

Maia has arrived.

Maia dropped Sternly Worded Letter.

Maia heads to the Space-Time Nexus.

Maia has left.

Gail Kilcrop XD

To who it may concern,
	I feel as if you have stated something horrible against my namestack 
	as a White Mage. Let it be known.
	  -Maia, The White Mage

Sarabi says, "What's a namestack?"

Spear candies, "Terny, I think that poorly worded letter is for you."

Eternity hm. "Seems it is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maia comes in from the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Et-Cetera-Basement.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Very good! Now your namestack will be 
  defended."

Maia says, "Name stack"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "You know, like a bunch of names on top of each 
  over. Wobbly, maybe gonna fall over...?"

Maia says, "Some sort of jenga thing?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Sure!"

A booming, female voice echoes through the halls of the LNH Rented 
  Office Space. "White Mage is a good class. It is not a good class for 
  *everyone in your party to be*, however."

Maia blinks, "The heck? Hey thats only slightly better!"

Genesis says, "...the hell was that?"

Maia considers playing a full white mage run just to prove that booming 
  voice wrong!

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, I think Maia is arguing with one of the 
  Writers. I mean Players. I mean, swamp gas."

Genesis says, "You can just say 'one of the higher-ups', I get it."

Maia says, "Gosh darned swamp gas."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "That works too."

Genesis says, "You guys both realize the nearest swamp is about a 
  hundred miles away, right?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Wow, it must be *really* gassy!"

Genesis :I

Maia says, "You do realize that I broke a hole in reality like a few 
  days ago, right?"

Maia says, "So for right now, I'm assuming the red triangles on my 
  jacket are portals and I should be scared of them. Its been pretty 
  annoying not being able to use my triangle pockets."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I thought this was about a month after the 
  flashback."

Maia says, "A few days is within the scope of a month!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Thirty is SO not a few!"

Genesis says, "Well, yeah. I also know there's a standardized 
  classification system for universal streams."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "So it could be emenations from Earth-Swamp."

Maia says, "Does that mean I can use my triangle pockets then?"

Genesis grabs a quarter and puts it in one of Maia's pockets.

Genesis says, "If you can pull it out, you'll probably be fine."

Maia stares at Jacket, looks at quarter on the floor, "I think I might 
  just need to get this jacket fixed. Are there any like. Super 
  Tailors?

Genesis says, "You could probably just find a regular one, since that's 
  a regular jacket. We've got a costume-repair fund, actually."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I found it down the back of the couch! <3"

Genesis shakes a can of coins. There's a label taped to it. Written in 
  sharpie is "Costume Repair Fund" in Kid E's handwriting.

Maia says, "But it'd be so cool if I could get my triangles to be 
  really cool pockets!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh man. But what if you kept, like, really huge 
  weapons in there? And you could pull it out all like YOINK! Haha, 
  Mister Nastybad, didn't see THIS coming!"

Genesis says, "That'd require some moebius weaving. Not in the budget 
  right now."

Genesis, buzzkill. :I

Maia considers, "I think that whole character sheet schtick makes it 
  better if I stick to this weapon. I was thinking more like this one 
  could be a flash drive and this one could be a box of bandaids and 
  this one could be a smoke bomb!

Genesis says, "Sorta like a utility belt built into the hem of your 
jacket?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oooooh, good point."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "It's like a '90s-y leather jacket, but you 
  actually look cute!"

Maia says, "Yeah! Although I think I'm supposed to be heal spec'd so 
  like, maybe an over the counter dispensery?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Hmmmmm! Like, painkillers and stuff?"

Maia says, "Or that medicine you take to avoid flight sickness! And the 
  umm. Top triangles should probably be candy. Or flowers!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Or like. Oxygen pills!"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "...are those a real thing?"

Genesis says, "...probably."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Oh, and like, that anti-radiation medicine."

Maia says, "You guys need anti-radiation medicine that often? Wait, I'd 
  probably need to get like. Plastic or something sewn in for that."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Well, I mean, just in case."

Maia says, "Kid you're always playing with that thing, can it do 
  anything to my outfit thats cool?"

Kid Enthusiastic uhhhhhh.

Kid Enthusiastic takes the thing that looks like a remote control with 
  a tiny satellite dish sticking out and cranks the eggbeater handle on 
  the side.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "I don't think so. Is your shirt electronic?"

Genesis says, "What's that do?"

Maia says, "I saw a stall at the mall once that had electronic 
  shirts."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "It's supposed to control electronic systems. 
  Right now it mostly screws with them."

Maia says, "...That reminds me!"

Maia checks her phone, "I haven't been getting any calls. Think its 
  cause of the whole like. Shift thing?

Genesis says, "You'll prooobably want to get a new plan, yeah."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Ooooooooh."

Maia stares at the phone, "I wasn't paying for my own plan before."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Man. But just think about it. A slightly 
  different set of technologies. o.o"

Genesis says, "I'm not sure it's even that."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "...but I bet it is!"

Genesis says, "Her phone's just not recognized because it's not in the 
  phone company's database as having a plan, really. Though that IS 
  pretty interesting..."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Maia!"

Maia hands it over to Kid, "I'm using this as an excuse to get a phone 
  to fit my motif then."

Kid Enthusiastic cackles fiendishly, which is a bit weird coming out of 
  a ten-year-old. "Oh man. What if there's something in here we can get 
  a patent on?"

Genesis says, "E, what did I say last time?"

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Close the refrigerator, we're not made of 
  money?"

Genesis says, "No, the other thing."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "But I wouldn't be exploting the lack of 
  inter-universal patent law for my *own* profit! It'd be for the 
  *team*!"

Maia says, "Genesis, you know this place pretty good, right? Wheres 
  there a tailor and a phone shop I could check out?" She's already 
  practically at the door."

Genesis says, "It still counts. Feel free to cannibalize the phone for 
  your gadgets as long as it's okay with Maia, but no selling 
  technology that hasn't ever been invented here."

Kid Enthusiastic grumps. "Boooo."

Genesis pulls up Google Maps and points out a couple of good places for 
  both. Including, to her surprise, a combination tailor shop/Sprint 
  outlet.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. Convenient!"

Maia says, "That seems oddly conveinent."

Maia pulls Kid to the side and whispers, "I want seventy percent."

Genesis says, "...was there really a demand for tha--HEY I HEARD THAT"

Maia says, "Kid run she's on to us!"

Maia runs out the door with a jingle.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Woo-woo-woo-woo!"

Kid Enthusiastic escapes into the rafters.

Maia climbs in through the window, prints off the Google Maps results, 
  then climbs back out the window.

~~~A day and a half later~~~~~~

Maia boop boops on a touchtone flip-phone, her outfit seeming it might 
  have an absurd more amount of zippers than before.

Genesis says, "If that thing weren't so cute, it'd be, like... /maybe/ 
  a step below Liefeld."

Maia says, "You're just jealous that my cosplay ability got me a 
  photography job."

Kid Enthusiastic has a jeweler's loupe in one eye and a voltimeter in 
  one hand.

Genesis says, "...maybe a little, yeah."

Genesis says, "I mean, come on, I've got actual combat armor made from 
  actual alien alloys!"

Maia says, "And Final Fantasy is apparently an eternal cosmic constant 
  that everyone loves."

Kid Enthusiastic squints while he talks. "You should insert yourself 
  into an alternate universe's culture as fiction, then go over there 
    and win all the contests."

Maia softly says to Genesis, "Are we allowed to do that?"

Genesis says, "Thaaat sounds suspiciously supervillainy yet typically 
  Kid E. No."

Genesis looks over at the young boy. "Whatcha doing? Counting bits?"

Maia ended up getting flowers and herbs used by witch doctors to go 
  into her neck triangles.

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Actually! I'm examining the battery connectors. 
  It's fascinating, it loses twenty percent less power to heat 
  dissipation and waste!"

Kid Enthusiastic also, witch doctors, really

Maia what they smell nice.

Kid Enthusiastic well yeah it's just not a very accurate term

Maia fine plague doctors.

Kid Enthusiastic ...oh you meant

<OOC> Maia imagines that this entire conversation has been like. An odd 
mix of interprative dance and facial expression.

<OOC> Kid Enthusiastic :D

Maia flips through her contacts list, "Tailor, Maia, Kid, Genesis, 
  Photographer, Convienence Shop Owner, the same tailor. ....I really 
  don't know anyone here do I."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Maybe there's an alternate you!"

Maia says, "I wonder if she'd date me that'd be pretty cool."

Kid Enthusiastic says, "Huh. I guess dating yourself is probably either 
  super awesome or super terrible!"

Maia says, "I dunno, I think I'd be a good date."

========================================================================
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, THE AMAZING POWER OF JUST KIND OF 
TRAILING OFF!