LNH: One-Page Giant #3 (Edited)
Andrew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Nov 2 20:43:20 PDT 2013
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| O N E P A G E G I A N T | #3 |
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Who will be *your* - LNH Dream Date!
[ A nine-year-old girl with brown hair holds up a bunch of cards with
LNHers on them in glamour-shot poses. ]
Collect Consumerism Tokens to buy outfits!
[ A redheaded girl holds up two cards with dresses ] Pink spandex, or
pink trenchcoat?
Reveal your date's secret origin and see if they're an A-lister-- or
the comic relief!
[ A blonde girl reads a card ] He got bitten by a radioactive platypus?
Like, no way!
Get kidnapped for extra Peril Points!
[ The redhead goes, ] "Uh-oh! Stuffed in a fridge! Lose a turn!"
Then press the Pop-o-Matic Hologram Projector to reveal the hero of
your dreams!
[ The brunette pops up Ultimate Mercenary. ] "Aw, I got the dud!"
[ They all giggle and throw pillows. ]
"LNH Dream Date! Definitely not part of an evil plan to instill
disturbingly monolithic and limited ideas of femininity, the role of a
teenage girl in society, and the ultimate, inescapable necessity of
having a man in your life via post-hypnotic signals!"
[ All three girls turn around and say, ] "This date is going to go
*super*!"
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, sparkly plastic again
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