LNH: Beige Countdown #9 (8/9)

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                      Chapter Eight:
                 The Abyss Stares Back

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     "So there is such a thing as fluffy-cloud heaven,"
Arthur E.L. Presence said, kicking at the swirls of white
fog that surrounded them.  "I frankly could have done
without it."

     "Perhaps the afterlife is subjective," Vector Prime
said.  "For my part, I see only the most concentrated
stream of encrypted data I have ever encountered."

     "We're not dead," Mynabird said, as a silhouette
emerged from what he perceived as an endless field of bran
flakes. "Our minds are doing the best they can to cobble
together a coherent image of what our senses are
experiencing."

     "I... see," Presence said.  "So that girl standing in
front of us -- the one with black, empty eyes and hair
that looks like it has never once encountered water --
is not, in fact, a girl at all?"

     "Why don't we ask her?" Mynabird said, facing the
young, barefoot woman in a long white dress.  "Who
are you?"

     "I am the one you have sought all this time," the
girl said, coming closer.  "I am your final judgment.
I am the Ultimate Black Hole."


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     Tick.
     Tick.
     Tick.
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     LEGION ROLL CALL:

     Captain Continuity.... Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes and Robert
     "Mystic Mongoose" Armstrong

     Captain Rat Creature.... Saxon Brenton

     Cynical Lass, the Drop Bear and Substitute Lad
     .... Rob Rogers

     Deja Dude, Linguist Lass and Ordinary Lady.... Martin Phipps

     Drabble Girl... Jessica Ihimaera-Smiler

     Gaffer.... J.O.S.Hartung

     Girlwatcher.... Chris Gumprich

     Innovative-Offense Boy and Steak-and-Potatoes Man
     .... John "upLink" Scheibeler

     Kid Kirby.... H. Jameel al Khafiz

     Minority Miss.... Lalo Martins

     Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy.... Jamas Enright

     Obscure Trivia Lad.... Brian Perler

     Obsessive Compulsive Boy.... Mitchell "Tarq" Crouch

     Parking Karma Kid.... Steve Simmons

     Skunk Girl.... Ted "Arsenal" Brock

     Ultimate Ninja.... Ray "wReam" Bingham

     You're Not Hitting Me Hard Enough Lad.... Arthur Spitzer

     SPECIAL GUEST VILLAINS:

     Achilles Boddy... K.M. Wilcox

     Arthur E.L. Presence.... Steven Howard

     Barrage, Boba Fudd, Downyflake, Headzo the Clown,
     Londonbroil, Plummet,the Tardigrade, Vector Prime
     and Waffle Queen II.... Rob Rogers

     The Christicantthinkofagoodname Empire, Mynabird, The
     Legion of Net.Villains and Plum Master
     .... Arthur Spitzer

     The Collector and The Speculator... Mike "Zen" Caprio

     Mammal, Rabid Child, The Sun and The Pencil Rain
     .... H. Jameel al Khafiz

     The Meow Meow Gang.... Dave Van Domelen

     Merissa.... Saxon Brenton

     Sheepshagger... J.O.S.Hartung

     Vapid Veterinarian... Mark Friedman

     More information on these and other characters at:
     www.lnhq.info/wiki

     SPECIAL THANKS TO:
     Arthur Spitzer, Martin Phipps and the LNH Authors Group
for dialogue and editing assistance

     ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
     "Beige Countdown" created by Arthur Spitzer
     based in part on "Beige Noon"
     by Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt

     "So, my argument is that as we become more and more
scientifically literate, it's worth remembering that the
fictions with which we  previously populated our world may
have some function that it's worth trying to understand
and preserve the essential components of, rather than
throwing out the baby with the bath water; because even
though we may not accept the reasons given for them being
here in the first place, it may well be that there are good
practical reasons for them, or something like them, to be
there."
     -Douglas Adams