LNH/HCC: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #49 [HCC29]
Martin Phipps
martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Wed May 2 07:02:29 PDT 2012
[LNH/HCC] Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #49 [HCC29]
___ ___________________________
| |-| \
| |-| [] / #49
| | | [] egion of \ Super Friends
| | | []__ [] [] [] [] / (Part of High Concept Challenge
#29)
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \
| | | []\ ] [ __ ] / written by and copyright 2012
| |-| [] [] [] [] \ Martin Phipps
| |-|___________________________/
| |
| | Cover shows Master Blaster, Sarcastic Lad, Deja Dude
| | and Catalyst Lass at the Central Perk in Net.York with
| | the caption "Super... Friends?"
Master Blaster and Sarcastic Lad were watching TV in their apartment
and sitting on reclining chairs.
"Hey, what do you think of these barcalounges?" Rob asked.
"Barca what?"
"I don't know. The recliners. They called them barcalounges on the
show."
"Oh," Sarc said. "The chairs. Yeah, whatever. So let me get this
straight. You're supposed to be the stupid guy who is also a
pervert. Right?"
"I guess."
"And I'm the sarcastic one?"
"Yeah.'
Sarc shrugged his shoulders. "At least the casting makes sense."
"If you say so."
"And why are we doing this again?"
"Because Catalyst Lass says we should."
"And do we always do what Catalyst Lass says?"
Rob nodded. "Yep. It's her power."
Meanwhile across the hall, Catalyst Lass was talking to somebody who
appeared to be Rachel Green from the TV show Friends.
"Monica?" she asked.
"Yeah?" Catalyst Lass answered.
"I miss Ross."
"Why don't you give him a call and tell him how you feel?"
"I can't! I'm shy! You call him! He's your brother!"
"Okay!" Catalyst Lass picked up a cell phone and called "Ross".
"Ross, it's Monica. Can you come right over? Yes, now. Okay,
thanks!"
Suddenly Deja Dude appeared.
"Oh my God, Ross!" "Rachel" screamed. "Where did you come from?"
"What do you mean?" Catalyst Lass asked. "After I called him you
went to sleep! Ross came over while you were sleeping! You just woke
up!"
"Really? Wow! I don't remember that!"
Catalyst Lass smiled. "Ross?"
"Yes?" Deja Dude asked.
"Can I talk with you for a minute... outside."
"Okay."
Catalyst Lass smiled again. "We'll be right back." Deja Dude
followed her outside.
"What's wrong?" Deja Dude asked.
"What's wrong?! What the Hell did you think you were doing?"
"What do you mean? You said to come over 'right now'! I thought it
was an emergency!"
"Okay. Okay. But did you forget what we were trying to do here?"
"Okay. Right. I'm sorry."
"Okay." Catalyst Lass sighed. "Just remember. You're Ross.
You're not Deja Dude."
"Okay. I'm Ross. I'm not Deja Dude. Got it."
"Okay. Let's go back in."
They walked back in.
"Hi, Rachel!" Deja Dude said. "I'm Ross!"
Catalyst Lass face palmed.
"Rachel" stood up. "Ross, now that you're single again, I was
thinking that we should get together again."
"Single?" Deja Dude asked.
"Yes, I mean, your divorce is final, right?"
"Divorce?"
"Rachel" sighed. "From Emily! You and Emily are no longer married.
"First of all, her name is Imelda."
"Ross!"
"Oh, right!" Deja Dude said, catching on. "Emily. God. I don't
know why I married her!"
"But I thought you were in love?" "Rachel" asked. "Emily broke it
off with you because deep down you wanted to be with me."
"Um..." said Deja Dude, feeling uncomfortable. "Shouldn't we, you
know, all go out, you know, like we always do and get some coffee?"
"Great idea!" Catalyst Lass said. "Let's go to the Central Perk!
We can go to the Central Perk, right?"
"Yeah, I have it all set up," Deja Dude said, "just like on the TV
show."
"What?""Rachel" asked.
"I mean, they have a TV set there. We can watch TV while we drink
coffee."
"Oh."
Later, at the Central Perk, Sister State-the-Obvious was holding a
guitar and singing Smelly Cat.
"Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you," she said.
"Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault."
Sarcastic Lad spoke up. "You're just holding the guitar. Aren't
you supposed to be playing it?"
"I can't play the guitar," Sister State-the-Obvious said. "And I
can't sing either. If you wanted somebody who could sing and play you
should have gotten Sing Along Lass."
"Oh, don't punish yourself, Phoebe!" "Rachel" said. "You're just
having a bad night."
Catalyst Lass spoke up. "Phoebe, why don't you get us all some
coffee."
Deja Dude's eyes lit up. "That's a great idea! Coffee! You want
coffee, right Rachel?"
"Sure," she said, "okay."
Phoebe nodded. "I'll get right on it."
Master Blaster spoke up. "So, Rachel, how did you and Ross meet?"
"In high school," "Rachel" said.
"But how exactly?"
She thought for a moment. "I don't remember."
"What do you remember?" Catalyst Lass asked. "Tell us everything!"
"I don't... I don't know. I know I'm Rachel and he's Ross and
you're Monica and they're Chandler and Joey but... God... Chandler...
I don't even know what you do for a living!"
Deja Dude sighed. "This isn't working."
Catalyst Lass argued with him. "Yes, it is!"
"No, it isn't!"
Catalyst Lass focused her power on Deja Dude. "Yes... it... is,"
she said.
"No, it isn't," Deja Dude said. "She's not going to remember
anything this way. We might as well tell her who she is."
"Don't..."
Deja Dude sighed. "Look, I'm not Ross. I'm Deja Dude. This isn't
Monica, Chandler and Joey. They're Catalyst Lass, Sarcastic Lad and
Master Blaster. We're the Legion of Net.Heroes."
"What? Then who am I?"
"You're Amnesia of the Brotherhood of Net.Villains. You attacked us
but I reflected your power back on you. For some reason, after you
forgot who you were you came to think you were Rachel Green from the
TV show Friends. It was all you could remember. Catalyst Lass laid a
guilt trip on me and convinced me to recreate the set of the TV show
and have us all dress up like characters from the show. She said that
you would remember by yourself. But it wasn't working..."
"It would have worked..."
"But it wasn't..."
"Because you never gave it a chance!"
"Oh for God's sake you two!" Sarcastic Lad said. "When did you two
get married and how many years has it been?"
"Wait..." Amnesia said. "So I'm not Rachel?"
"Nope," Deja Dude said.
"So we didn't meet in high school?"
"Nope."
"And you didn't marry Carol?"
"Nope."
"And you didn't carry on a relationship with some Chinese girl named
Julie only to have her leave you for a guy who looked just like you?"
"Actually, that _did_ happen. And it happened to me before it
happened to Ross. I should have sued."
Catalyst Lass sighed. "Look, Amnesia. We were trying to help.
What do you remember?"
Suddenly, Rumour Monger appeared at the Central Perk. "Okay, that's
enough," he said. "I'll take it from here."
Sister State-the-Obvious, who had just returned with the coffee,
spoke up. "Hey, look guys," she said. "Rumour Monger is here."
Rumour Monger nodded. "I know what you were trying to do. You were
trying to get information about her about the Brotherhood."
Catalyst Lass shook her head. "No, we were trying to help her!"
"Help yourself you mean!" Rumour Monger accused.
"If you knew where we were," Master Blaster asked, "why didn't you
show up sooner?"
Rumour Monger smiled. "To tell you the truth, Friends was my
favorite show and I was having a ball seeing you act out the
characters! I had all the episodes on VHS! I brought them with me to
Asteroid L and Amnesia and I watched them together."
"Hey!" Amnesia said. "I remember that!"
"There!" Rumour Monger said. "She doesn't need your help any more!
Can we go?"
"She attacked _us_!" Sister State-the-Obvious said.
"Well, okay, fine, be that way," Rumour Monger said. "I did ask
nicely!" Rumour Monger grabbed Amnesia and they both teleported away.
"Hey, Dude!" Master Blaster said, referring to Deja Dude. "Aren't
you going to go after them?"
"Nah," Deja Dude said. "This was just a one shot joke issue. It
isn't to be continued."
THE END
Deja Dude is Martin Phipps
Master Blaster is Robert Ramirez
Catalyst Lass is Elisabeth Riba
Sarcastic Lad is Gary St. Lawrence
Sister State-the-Obvious and Rumour Monger created by wReam
Amnesia created by Drizzt
Martin "Will this do?" Phipps
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