LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #3: 'Beige Easter'
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer at earthlink.net
Wed Mar 19 16:57:41 PDT 2008
EDMLite wrote:
> On Mar 17, 7:49 pm, Arthur Spitzer <arspit... at earthlink.net> wrote:
>> The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
>> Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon
>>
>> "Beige Easter"
>
> It's sick, sad and wrong how much I was hoping this would
> happen...
>
>
>> It was followed by the sound of a komodo dragon
>> wearing an Easter bonnet on its head and number of FBI agents bursting
>> into the room with guns a blazing.
>
> I'd hate to be the Foley artist trying to come up with
> sound effects for this issue...
>
>> "Wow! Two Holiday Miracle Pets -- in the same room! And the FBI and
>> CIA! This whole beige egg thing must be bigger than we thought, Sarge!"
>
> I can hardly wait for the debut of "Borscht, the Passover Miracle
> Wombat." Or "Furbish Lousewort, the Miracle Arbor Day Snail
> Darter." But mostly because it feels naughty to say "furbish
> lousewort."
:)
You can do next year's one if you want, Rob...
>
>> "You see, Shirley was a Federal witness for a gruesome crime. And
>> Cabbage was supposed to protect her. But he failed. And she died. The
>> killer was never caught. Eggplant went kind of crazy after that never
>> forgiving Cabbage for his failure to protect Shirley. Cabbage quit the
>> FBI and joined the CIA. And I guess the wounds still haven't healed."
>
> [begin flashback sequence]
>
> "Shirley! My God, Shirley...are you all right?"
>
> "No, Eggplant. I'm a frayed Knott."
And that's why you're the Pun King...
>
>> "Because I read, Kid. The Net.ional Net.qui.error and Mid.Net Star.
>> Because they tell it like it is. And because my wife buys them and I
>> need something to read when I'm taking a dump."
>
> It's lines like these that make me proud to be
> a newspaper journalist...
>
>> "Aw, Cabbage has his little tiny ferret arms out! I think he wants to
>> give Eggplant a hug! And Eggplant -- he's opening up his mouth -- and
>> -- Oh god! Eggplant just swallowed him! Oh god! This is horrible!
>> Eggplant just ate Cabbage!"
>
> I'm glad to see that Eggplant discovered the True
> Meaning of St. Patrick's Day... fighting and eating
> cabbage...
>
>> This is pretty horrible, but I felt I needed to write it anyway.
>
> Not at all. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say
> this was the best holiday-themed ferret vs. Komodo
> dragon story I've ever read.
Glad you liked it...
>
> --Easily-Discovered Man Lite
> --Wishing everyone a happy Evacuation Day
Arthur "Happy Quinquatria" Spitzer
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