8FOLD: The Nostalgics # 2
milos_parker at yahoo.com
Thu Jun 22 08:23:58 PDT 2006
martinphipps2 at yahoo.com wrote:
> of us forget the little details or else gloss over them because our
> memory is not so clear.
I agree, and actually tried to emulate that: that's why, for example,
there's very little verbatim dialogue and not much description. But my
execution obviously still leaves quite a bit to be desired, so I'll
have to try better the next time around.
> If I were to say anything as criticism, it would have to be that the
> story needn't be quite so detailed. The story is supposed to tell us
> why he killed one of his teamates. Unnecessary details come across as
> a bit strange.
This is a very valid criticism, Martin. One of my challenges with this
project is to strike a balance between the story itself and the form in
which it is told.
> Of course, we don't know who he kills or why so what is
> necessary and what is not necessary are hard to tell. Does he kill
One of the conceits I used at the beginning was, Jason doesn't know
_why_ he did it; one could argue that he's going over all these events
and details in an attempt to stumble upon the reason. But that only
works to a point; I'll keep working on striking a better and proper
> Reilly because he uses too much cheese in his spaghetti?
When I did try to use details, like this one about Goodman and his
spaghetti, I tried to introduce them as if they just popped into
Jason's head; I tried to make them an interruptive force, and to show a
lack of focus in the character's train of thought/voice. Instead, they
seem to show lucidity and incredible, Kieran O'Callaghan-like recall.
I'll have to work on that.
> I guess I'll
> have to stick around and find out. :)
Well, if that's so, then I've done at least one thing right. :-)
Thanks for the comments, Martin. They're highly appreciated, and I'll
be sure to keep them in mind as I continue this project. I can't get
better if I don't know where I'm screwing up. :-)
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