[LNH/LNH2] LNH Forever #4 (of 4)

[Martin Phipps]

  "Let me see if I've got this straight."
  At LNH HQ, in the year 2004, four Legionaires, Ultimate Ninja, Irony Man, 
Doctor Stomper and Captain Continity, were hosting for Legionaires from the 
year 2020, Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl and Swiss Mouse.  Ultimate Ninja 
was speaking.
  "The four of you are from the future?"
  "That's right," Deja Dude II told him.
  "The year 2020?"
  "Yes."
  "And in the year 2020, you are members of the LNH?"
  "The LNH is a truly global organisation in the year 2020," N explained, 
"spread out over three continents!"
  "And you've come back in time in pursuit of criminal from your time?"
  "I traced him to this time period," Deja Dude II explained.  "He's 
somewhere in the area of Net.York, or at least he was when he arrived by 
time machine."
  "What exactly did he do?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
  "He killed Timo!" a tearful Swiss Mouse said.
  "Who was Timo?" Irony Man asked.
  "Timo was our teammate!"
  "This man killed a Legionaire?" Irony Man asked.
  "Actually, Timo was a parrot," N told him.
  "He was still our teammate!" Swiss Mouse insisted.
  "He blew up LNH Europe Headquarters," Deja Dude II explained.  "Timo was 
inside at the time.  He didn't make it."
  "I see," Ultimate Ninja said.  "I understand how you must feel.  You are 
pursuing a cowardly terrorist who must be brought to justice.  The LNH of 
2004 will do all it can to help.  I assume you have a description of the 
villain?"
  "I know what he looks like.  Before we went back in we had Composite 
Sketch Lad of LNH Ame.rec.a do this sketch for us."  Deja Dude II handed 
Ultimate Ninja the picture of the perpetrator.
  "Alright," Ultimate Ninja said.  "That's a start.  I'll inform the 
Net.York police and have them put out an all points bulletin."
  Intuition Girl spoke up.  "With all due respect, Mr. Ninja, Sir, that 
won't be enough.  He hasn't commited any crimes in the year 2004.  What 
exactly are we going to tell the police to arrest him for."
  "Good point," Ultimate Ninja said.  "Alright then, I guess I'd better tell 
all available Legionaires to go to Net.York city and join the search for 
this villain."
  Doctor Stomper spoke up.  "If I might make a suggestion, you might also 
want to check your records from the year 2020.  If we are successful in 
catching this villain in the year 2004 then you would think that the Legion 
records would have made some mention of it."
  "We thought of that," Deja Dude II said, "but we didn't find any 
information on the case."
  "Then perhaps we won't be successful," Doctor Stomper suggested.
  "Or perhaps we are successful and the case was closed," Deja Dude II 
suggested.
  "There's a third possibility," Captain Continuity said.  "Perhaps Deja 
Dude II will find a reference to what happened in his historical records 
AFTER it happens in 2004 because, for us, it hasn't happened yet."
  Doctor Stomper smiled.  "Time travel stories do not normally obsess so 
much over causality but, yes, what you suggest is a possible explanation 
that pretty much agrees with how we might imagine time travel might work in 
the real world."
  "Which brings us back to where we started," Ultimate Ninja said.  "We have 
ourselves a fugitive and no time travel plot device is going to help us find 
him.  We are on our own with this one."

                                                LNH Forever #4: Full Circle

  Don't ask me how I knew but I knew the LNH was after me.  I just knew.  
That's why I was wearing a false moustache, a wig and contact lenses.  A 
change here and there and my own mother wouldn't recognise me.
  I got a good night's sleep at a local motel and then went straight to 
Ma.C's department store.  I knew that, if I went to the electronics 
department, I could find the parts I needed to fix my time machine.
  Of course, I had to be careful: I had to make sure that I didn't hand the 
salesclerk any money dated after 2004.  Actually, it wasn't a big problem 
because I had a wad of bills with me dated pre-1992 that I had put aside for 
my trip to that time period.  Still, I had to be careful lest I got arrested 
as a counterfeit with a wry sense of humour.  I didn't expect anybody to 
believe me if I said I was from the future.
  After buying the parts I needed, I headed down the esculator to the ground 
floor.  Imagine my surprise when I saw the LNH there!  And not just the LNH, 
but LNH memebers from my own time: Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl, Swiss 
Mouse and Ultimate Ninja (who he would have thought was from his own time 
because Ultimate Ninja doesn't seem to age--Footnote Girl).  I was sure that 
they wouldn't recognise me but, just to be on the safe side, I turned and 
headed towards the far exit.
  "There he is!" Intuition Girl said after I had made it half way across the 
floor.  I quickened my pace.  How on Looniearth did she recognise me?  It 
made no difference.  If I could just get out of the store and out onto the 
street I had a chance to lose them.
  Ultimate Ninja was right behind me.  He had already drawn his Ginsu katana 
blade and was telling me to surrender.  I ignored him, so focused I was on 
achieving my goal of getting out of the store.  I heard people screaming and 
felt them looking at me.  I didn't care.  I would leave them all behind once 
I got through the glass doors.
  I made it.  I got out of the store.  Alas, I didn't get very far: Captain 
Continuity was out there waiting for me.  Apparently his teammates had 
contacted him and told him where I was going.  Now I was trapped between the 
current and future leaders of the LNH, the very people who I had come to 
hate all these years.
  "It's over!" Ultimate Ninja said as he followed me out of the store.
  Over?  No.  I had devoted my life to trying to destroy the LNH.  Barring 
that I would see them discredited so that everyone would know what kind of 
people they really were.  I was prepared to give my life so that people 
would know the truth.
  "Screw you!" I screamed and then threw myself on the ninja's blade!

  That's when I saw him.

  That's when I saw me.

  I was ten years old.  Just a boy.  My mother had taken me to Ma.C's 
department store on a Saturday morning.  I was an innocent child, doomed to 
be corrupted by the violence I would witness that day.
  To me, it looked as though Ultimate Ninja had killed me in cold blood, 
that I was running for my life and the ninja killed me as soon as he caught 
up to me.  Instead, it was me who threw myself on the ninja's blade, just as 
the witnesses outside the store had said I had done.
  The look of horror on my face was due to the realisation of what I had 
done, that I was responsible for my own tragic life.  I wanted to tell 
myself, just then, before I breathed my last, tell myself not to follow the 
same path.
  But, of course I would.  I had no choice.  What I had already done I would 
do again in an endless loop of tragedy.  The older me would never get to 
tell the younger me not to do what he had done.  Instead, the younger me 
would grow up to do it all over again.  And again and again and again.  The 
rest of the Looniverse would go on as it always had but I would be trapped 
in this closed curve of time.
  My destiny had come full circle and had formed an endless loop from which 
there was no escape.

                                                             THE END

CREDITS

Ultimate Ninja created by wReam
Irony Man created by wReam
Doctor Stomper created by T. M. Neeck
Captain Continity created by Drizzt, wReam and Robert Armstrong
Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl and Swiss Mouse created by me

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