LNHY/ACRA: The Daily Super Short-Short Story #4
arspitzer at aol.com
Sun Aug 22 15:10:24 PDT 2004
<<Warning: You might be endangering your soul to eternal damnation in
hellfire if you read this series. Just thought you should know that.>>
The Daily Super Short-Short Story #4
(Formally know as 'The Daily Super Paragraph')
LAST TIME: The Mighty Morphin' Paragraph Police dared to question God's
paragraph writing skills and for this they were burned death. God
decided to change the name of the series from 'The Daily Super
Paragraph' to the 'The Daily Super Short-Short Story'. Not because the
Paragraph Police were right, but because God felt like it. And now....
'Sheep love can't cure a lonely heart'
Had God made a mistake in creating 'Gotta-Luv-Me Lad'? He looked at the
character who was strumming a banjo while smoking some cigarettes. This
wasn't the most thrilling character and God had the feeling that Gotta-
Luv-Me Lad's power (the power to make readers care about him) wasn't
working to well. God was just about to strike Gotta-Luv-Me Lad down
with lightning and start over when Gotta-Luv-Me Lad spoke to God.
"God? I feel there's something missing in my life. There's an
emptiness inside me. A desire to share my life with someone. Someone
to talk to. I feel lonely."
And God replied, "Lonely? But you have me to talk to. Why would you
Gotta-Luv-Me Lad shook his head, "It's not that. I want someone to
hold. To snuggle with. Can you understand?"
And God said, "Well, what's wrong with the sheep?"
And Gotta-Luv-Me Lad said, "They're okay. But every time I french kiss
one I'm afraid it will bite my tongue off. Couldn't you create an
animal that's like me, but in way that would show that I'm clearly
And God realized that Gotta-Luv-Me Lad was right. That's what was
missing. The love interest. The T & A factor. "Okay," God said, "But
in order for me to create your love interest you're going to have to
sacrifice something. You're going to have to sacrifice..." A rumble of
thunder. "Your second nose!!!"
Gotta-Luv-Me Lad looked horrified. "My second nose!?" gulped Gotta-Luv-
Me Lad. "Well okay. If that's what it takes to fill the emptiness
TOMORROW: Gotta-Luv-Me Lad meets his Significant Other!
Author's Note: And that's why people don't have two noses.
Arthur "Well what did Adam do before Eve?" Spitzer
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