[LNH2] Generation Zed: The New Class #9
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Fri Aug 6 09:49:43 PDT 2004
2020. The future.
The embassy was dimly lit. Swords, maces, clubs from various
eras of dorfan history lined the walls. The imagery was slightly out
of place for a built for the purpose of maintaining peace, but somehow
the dorfs made it work.
A large dorf greeted Johnny Stomper and his students as they passed
through the front gate. Stomper turned to the kids. They could
tell by the look in his eyes that he was about to give them a lecture.
"Now remember why we came to the Dorfan embassy
tonight," Johnny said.
"Dorfan Embassy? I was wondering where the paper hats were. I
thought this was the Medieval Times restaurant," said SoWhat.
"Quiet. I was hoping to get a better look at some of the swords. I
have always been fascinated by Dorfan culture," Analysis said. "Where
else on Looniearth can you study a truly alien culture?"
"Actually," Johnny said, "some anthropologists suggest that
Dorfs actually originated on Looniearth and migrated to the Dorfan
homeworld when their behavior became intolerable to those around
"Nonsense!" their large Dorfan escort spat. "There is no way
that Dorfs descended from your inferior kind!" He then remembered how
the Ambassador had told him, on orders from the Emperor himself, how
he had to be nice to human visitors to the embassy.
He did not want to be seen as disobeying the Emperor! "Um... no
"None taken!" Johnny said diplomatically.
"Didn't the LNH used to have a dorfan member awhile back?" Cheesecake
Eater Lass asked.
Johnny Stomper jittered nervously back and forth. He felt a little
embarrassed by the whole incident. One he had a small part in. (See
Vel #-5 - #1/2)
"Yes... Yes they did," Stomper said.
"Well, what happened to him?" she asked.
"I don't know," Johnny said.
"He probably became a bum," SoWhat said.
Generation Zed: The New Class #9
Strange Visitors Part One
Be Our Guest
Plot by Jesse N. Willey
Written by Jesse N. Willey and Martin Phipps
The Ambassador General stood in front of his desk. Two teenaged
Dorfs were standing at full attention. One of the teenagers was, like
most Dorfan males, was built like a brick outhouse. The second, a
short female, was muscular but only showed signs that she was quite
flexible. A third almost human looking boy sat wearing an Orioles
baseball cap to cover his dorfan forehead. He was playing a portable
video game system.
"Alright kids, I want you three to be on your best behavior tonight.
We're hosting a delegation from the Net.tropolis Academy," The
"Yes sir!" shouted one of the teenagers.
"T'lok!" the other said.
"Can any of tell me anything about the Net.Tropolis Academy?" The
"It is where the LNH sends their children to school," said one of the
"Very good Kaalix," The General said.
"Wahoo! I finally beat Deathpong IX!" The boy in the corner shouted.
"Dran have you been listening at all?" The General said.
"Yeah, we're going to meet the Net.Tropolis Academy
kids and we're supposed to behave ourselves. I guess you should
inform K'Halleem and Kaalix that means they will be using silverware,"
Dran said. "Can we go now?"
Johnny Stomper went to the bar. Aside from hundreds of different
Dorfan drinks, and wide variety of earth beverages were available.
The kids were over in the corner playing Box, Box, Revolution a video
game he was told was quite popular on Dorfia. He was still confused
as to why the Ambassador General invited him, not to mention his
students, to tonight's festivities. A dorf in an excessively ornate
military uniform took a step towards him. Stomper almost did a spit
"Mister Ambassador General?" Stomper asked.
"You and I go way back, Johnny. It's still just Vel to you," he
"What are you doing here?" Stomper asked.
"Well, Dran's treatments are over. Then my
predecessor committed suicide because... well... I can't talk about that
with kids present. Needless to say, I owed the Emperor a few favors
and so here I am," Vel said. "Didn't you read anything beyond my
"I tried. It was all written in old dorfan," Stomper said.
"I'll talk to my secretary. She's a little stubborn. I know I asked
for Galactic Standard," Vel said. "Where are the kids? I think
introductions should be made."
SoWhat and Cheesecake Eater Lass were playing Box, Box, Revolution.
Dran stared at them while they played. The one who was winning seemed
to revel in her victory. The loser though, she had a nice smile.
"Take that, Cake Girl!" said SoWhat. "I win."
"Player One... continue in ten.. nine... eight... seven...six.." said the
"Oh man! Out of quarters," she said.
"Who's the greatest! Wahoo! Who is the greatest!"
Dran pulled a small remote device from his pocket and pressed a
button. Cheesecake Eater Lass's controls began to blink.
"Credit mode disabled," said the computer.
SoWhat spotted Dran.
"Hey! You can't do that!" SoWhat shouted.
"Check the side of the machine... or any of the other arcade machines
in the lobby," he said.
SoWhat glared at the stickers. "Property of Dranicus of Clan
Peterson. Who's that?"
"That would be me. I would like to honor you and your friends with
free use of the facilities for the evening," Dran said. He then
whispered to Cheesecake Eater Lass. "It's double ticket night.
Perhaps a little skeeball is in order."
Vel called the kids over. They quickly introduced themselves. Dran
and Cheesecake Eater Lass went back to the Skeeball machine. Vel
smiled seeing his son doing something other than playing video games
"So, you're teaching these kids now?" Johnny said.
"When I can. Running the Embassy is not an easy job," Vel said.
"So... how's Jen?"
"Does she talk about me?" Vel said.
Blur was over by the Bop the Vole game attempting to converse with
K'haleem. She wasn't having much success. For some reason Kaalix was
constantly at her side.
"I like the ones with googly eyes myself? What about you?" Blur
K'Haleem said nothing.
"She's a war orphan. One of noble blood. She thinks universal
translators are the biggest friggin dishonor in the universe. Unless
you speak to her in Dorfan, she ain't going to friggin talk to you,"
The ground rumbled and a giant robot twenty foot tall robot emerged
from the floor. The humans in the room gasped and the dorfs raised
their weapons and began their assault.
"All bow down before me, the mighty Roboto Version 2.0!" it shouted.
Kaalix and K'Haleem took one look at the robot and leapt for the
swords on the wall. Analysis went from went from staring at the fine
weapon to staring at an empty case on the wall. He didn't seem to
notice the robot at all.
"Nice sword. About two hundred years old...," Analysis said. "... hey
watch it. I was looking at that."
"Its blade shall see the glory of combat again," Kaalix said.
"Huh?" Analysis said as he turned around and spotted the robot.
Over at the Bar, Stomper and Vel finished off their drinks.
"Do you think we should help them?" Stomper asked.
"Give them a minute. Let's see how they handle it," Vel said.
"Are you crazy?"
"They're teenagers. I had my first bout with a giant robot when I
was in grade school. Happened all the time," Vel said. "It'll be
good for them."
"But Roboto? He was a threat to Brain Boy," Stomper said.
"When he was amnesiac. I've read the reports," Vel said.
Kaalix and K'Haleem charged the robots with their weapons. Roboto
walked toward SoWhat, Cheesecake Eater Lass and Dran. They looked
"We're being attacked by a giant robot?" SoWhat asked. "That is like
so twentieth century!"
"Giant? I've seen bigger!" Kaalix shouted from the top of Roboto's
"Lure it to an uninhabited area," Cheesecake Eater Lass said.
Kaalix frowned. He and K'Haleem kept pounding and pounding on the
robot's outer shell. Small dents were made, but there was no
"Lure it away, she says! That's easier said than done! This
friggin' robot is tougher than it looks!" Kaalix said.
"Don't worry, I have a plan," Dran said. "Just follow my lead."
Dran shoved SoWhat into to robot's path.
"Whoa! I don't go that far on a first date, pal," she said.
Cheesecake Eater Lass looked almost jealous.
"Say something to it. Something insulting," Dran said.
SoWhat looked shocked and stupefied.
"Hey Roboto! Your mother was Speak and Spell and your father's
brain was the size of a small hearing aid battery!" SoWhat shouted.
Roboto began to move faster.
"I think we'd better run," said Cheesecake Eater Lass.
"I second that," Dran said. "Quickly to the left corridor."
As it just happened, they left Roboto in the dust for a few moments.
The left corridor happened to lead to the children's quarters. Dran
dove into Kaalix's door and grabbed something. He went in the door
next to it and grabbed something off the right side of wall near the
door. He came with a laser sword and an antigravity skateboard.
During the time it took him to get the objects, Roboto had caught up
"Destroy you all!" whined Roboto mechanically.
"This is no time for playing with toys," said SoWhat.
"This is no game," Dran said. He motioning to SoWhat to get on the
board. "Room for two. Now keep insulting it."
"Uhhh.." she said. "Hey Roboto! Who taught you to talk? Doctor
As the board took off, SoWhat had no idea where they were heading.
Then she saw a huge green door about 100 feet away at the end of the
hallway. Roboto sped up using his rocket boosters. Cheesecake Eater
Lad began to cough and wheeze as she ran. SoWhat and Dran made it
thirty feet from the door.
"We're not gonna make it, and Roboto is going to crush CEL," said
"Yes, we are," said Dran.
He shoved her off the board then pointed to an emergency blanket and
a fire extinguisher. SoWhat, realizing where this was going, wrapped
the blanket around her. Dran turned the board around, then pressed a
button on the back of the board. The rocket booster activated and he
swooped down and rescued Cheesecake Eater Lass. He then tossed the
laser sword to Kaalix. Kaalix turned on the blade and stabbed the
gyroscope in Roboto's belt.
"unnngh!" yelled Kaalix. "Now what?"
"You could try, I don't know, igniting the fuel line?" SoWhat said.
"Good idea!" Kaalix said.
Dran brought the board down. SoWhat shared as much of the blanket as
she could with the two of them. Then the huge fireball hit.
"Me and my big mouth!" SoWhat said.
Kaalix smiled. There were times, not many, when he almost
considered Dran his brother. This one of those times.
"You want to trash our dorm rooms? Cool," Kaalix said. "Dran, you
really fought like a warrior this day."
"Err... thanks, I guess," Dran said.
Stomper heard the loud explosion, coming from the direction the kids
had run off in. He glared at Vel.
"You still think they're perfectly safe?" Stomper asked.
"The security system would have taken care of it if there had been
any real danger," Vel said. "I do have a favor to ask though."
"Oh?" Stomper asked.
"Got anymore room at that school of yours?" Vel asked.
To be Continued...
Johnny Stomper created by Josh Geurink. Penultimate Ninja, Token Boy
and Cheesecake Eater Lass created by Martin Phipps Analysis, Blur and
SoWhat created by Lalo Martins. Vel, Kaalix, Dran and K'Haleem
created by Jesse N. Willey. Roboto Version 2.0 is based on Roboto
created by Sean Daugherty.
This document copyright Jesse N. Willey and Martin Phipps.
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